Esther Kustanowitz: July 2006 Archives

You may not have heard of him yet, but for the past year or so, filmmaker Simcha Jacobovici has hosted a television show in Canada--where he is huge--as "The Naked Archeologist," in which he is neither naked (thankfully) nor an archeologist (interestingly). The show's wanton title comes from its premise--to "strip down" Biblical archeology for the layperson, or as the auteur himself states on the VisionTV Documentaries website, "to demystify the Bible in general, and archaeology in particular, to brush away the cobwebs and burst academic bubbles."

But Canada isn't enough for this veteran of 30 documentaries; in his latest opus, Jacobovici takes on the biblical account of the Israelites' Exodus from Egypt. In its beginning moments, the film, The Exodus Decoded, taps into our cultural memory, evoking the iconic--if fictional--image of the Ark of the Covenant, as found by Indiana Jones. The Ark is boxed and rolled away by a nameless worker, vanishing into a government warehouse of similarly boxed items. The question is, what happens to the inquiry after that? The film goes a step further, analyzing the archeological and historical evidence surrounding the biblical Exodus. As executive producer James Cameron--yes, that James Cameron--explains in the introductory narration that the film is on "a mission to answer the question: is the Exodus fact, or fiction?"

Of course, the business of attempting to prove a historical basis for biblical stories may necessitate challenging the status of the events these stories portray, events that religious people of multiple faiths believe are miracles. For instance, the film posits that the Ten Plagues, regarded by many as the miraculous centerpiece of the pre-Exodus narratives, did indeed happen, but that they were the result of a geological event, the Santorini volcanic eruption. The plague of the rivers turning to blood was a natural gas leak causing the water to be red-tinted; the pollution of the water caused all the fish to die and the frogs to hop out to safety, because they were the only ones who could; that led to pestilence, etc.

Those who are unwilling to find natural causes for biblical miracles will undoubtedly rail against the premise of the film; others might be more willing to say that a historical explanation is not inconsistent with miraculous status. Perhaps, in the more expansive view, a natural event--with the proper amazingly appropriate timing--is what creates a miracle.

Since the invention of blog technology--which made instant publishing accessible to the masses--we have taken for granted the immediacy of the form. For people who grapple with issues of faith, our instant access to the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of others begs a question: what would Jesus--not to mention L. Ron Hubbard--blog?

Now, thanks to writer Paul Davidson's new book, "The Lost Blogs: From Jesus to Jim Morrison," we have some of the answers. Davidson gives us the access we've been waiting for, escorting us into the blogpages of famous historical figures, including several prominent religious leaders.

In Davidson's world, Jesus runs a Carpentry Blog, in which he provides hints about creating a "water or wine rack," the perfect place to "store both satisfying thirst quenchers in one place and never find yourself deficient of either…" "The Lost Blogs" also grants us access to Moses's personal account of the parting of the Red Sea, in which he urges readers to "check out Pharaoh's blog, which will, I'm quite sure, contain some fairly amusing observations about yesterday's incident involving me and the chosen people of Israel." In another post, Brigham Young bemoans his impossible task of shopping for Mothers' Day (apostrophe after the 's' is intentional--he's a polygamist, get it?).

There are also entries from a house-harried Muhammad ("These freakin' kids are driving me crazy") and science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard notes an amusing conversation with a friend: "We talked about how hilarious it might have been had people modeled a religion... based on the theme of strange alien creatures that must be eradicated or else humans would suffer! A religion based on getting rid of aliens! Hah!"

On Davidson's site, thelostblogs.com, you are informed that you have reached the homepage of WOMP, the World Organization for Manuscript Preservation. WOMP positions "The Lost Blogs" as the book that will "finally put to rest the debate over whether or not well-known historical icons actually did take advantage of ancient blogging technologies."

For those interested in acquiring fake historical memorabilia, the WOMP store also "sells" items like the "John Wilkes Booth Authentic Theatre Head Shot," "William Shakespeare's Lost Transcripts Of His Unreleased Play, 'Duke, Where's My Carriage!?,' and a series of selected photos from "Helen Keller's photoblog." Initial investigation indicates that the aforementioned items have not been carbon-dated to determine authenticity, because that would take all the fun out of it.