Esther Kustanowitz: December 2007 Archives

Oy vey. Every time actors speak I find myself holding my breath and hoping that what they'll say will resemble one of the moving, well-written speeches that they deliver during the roles they've taken on in their lifetime. As it turns out, those speeches are crafted by experienced people (I believe they're called "writers," or at least they are when they're not striking) who know how to turn a phrase, and directed by other experienced people who are called "directors." Or sometimes, those emotional moments are brokered by a James Lipton or Barbara Walters or Oprah or Ellen, to get actors to discover the wonderful inner workings of their own minds, to entertaining effect for the audience. Often, these celebrities become spokespeople for wonderful philanthropic causes that help people all over the world, and they should be praised for devoting part of a significant fortune and pulpit to good works.

But woe, alas and alack, sometimes it might have been better if the celebrity had said nothing at all. For instance, a recent combination of Will Smith+Scotland=a possible boycott of "I Am Legend," when the former fresh prince made the following opinion known.

Smith says he doesn't believe, quote, "Hitler didn't wake up going, "let me do the most evil thing I can do today," adding that Hitler was trying to do what he thought was good, though his mind used "a twisted, backward logic."

From an entertainment perspective, being a Jew during Christmas month is hard. While we get the "Adam Sandler Chanukah Song" for eight days over Hanukkah, during the rest of the month, the radio stations go Christmasy hardcore, with seven versions of Santa Claus is Coming to Town, and dueling Madonna and Marilyn for "Santa Baby." The best song I hear during that time is George Michael's "Last Christmas" ("Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you gave it away..."), which then becomes the worst song, because I can't get it out of my head for days. TV's no better, with "Jingle All the Way," "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation," "The Santa Clause..." it's endless, and worse, it's not even entertaining.

Sure, you could do a Rob Reiner retrospective like one New York organization is doing (although I'm not sure two films constitutes a retrospective), or do an "Airplane"/"Airplane 2"/"Naked Gun"/"Top Secret!" Zucker/Zucker/Abrahams film festival. But in case you're Jewish and need a little TV/movie guidance this "holiday season," check out this list for some of my favorite films for Jews to watch on Christmas:

National Treasure (the First) should have been laughable--a blatant ripoff of various adventure flicks at TV shows that came before it. The first effort introduced us to Indy wannabe Ben Gates, a know-it-all adventurer with a long history of searching for treasure and truth. We also met his second banana, Riley, the goofy computer expert/comic relief whom I instantly found "adorkable." And because this is a big-time movie, you gotta have a love interest, enter Helen of TroyDiane Kruger. But there was something about it that kept me interested.

So when National Treasure 2 popped up, I ran to Loews, expecting a popcorn movie that would lightly entertain, if not necessarily enlighten. But I found myself laughing, often and at unexpected moments. Joke predictability is a peeve of mine, so unanticipated laughs were a delightful surprise. Although I'm still not sure about Cage-as-action-hero--he had an amazing comedy moment in NT2 that makes me think he's being wasted in dramatic roles.

There was something about the faux-history of America as created by the writers in both films, something about these characters (especially Riley, but I won't bore you any further with my geek crush) that kept me watching, not despite the fact that the situations and tones and even characters were archetypal-bordering-on-cliche, but because they were. It reminded me of some of my favorite X-Files episodes, of Oliver Stone's "JFK," and of course, the Indiana Jones films. (NT2 had at least two major visuals that hearkened back to Raiders of the Lost Ark and Star Wars, at least for me.) The female character was classically pretty (enough that Kruger did play Helen of Troy), but was at least distant from being a damsel in distress.

The story--in brief, because the plot summary alone challenges a reader's attention span--is that a piece of John Wilkes' Booth's diary has been found that implicates Ben Gates' great-great-grandfather in the Lincoln Assassination. To clear his ancestor's name, Ben "gets the band back together" for car chases, booby-trapped treasure hunting, and family-packed adventure. Because this film, even more than its predecessor, is about personal and family history.

It looks like Nickelodeon may address Jamie Lynn's pregnancy after all--if not on "Zoey 101," Spears' show, then during a special that addresses love and sex. A CNN report revealed that the network is speaking with Linda Ellerbee, a veteran journalist who has "stepped in frequently in the past with shows on talking to children about difficult issues in the news. She's done shows about same-sex parents, AIDS, the Columbine shooting and President Clinton's impeachment scandal."

Just when you think you've heard enough Spears pregnancy rumors for a given year (how many babies did Britney have this year? Five?), now we've got the previously-sane-seeming Nickelodeon star Jamie Lynn Spears in OK! Magazine addressing rumors about her pregnancy. It's true. And Kevin Federline is not the father (because that would be weird). And she's keeping her baby.

Don't worry, though. She's thought about it, and determined that this is the right move for her. She's known the father, her "longtime boyfriend" Casey Aldridge, for years, and "started dating him in high school." By the way, she's 16. He's 19. And they met when she was 13 and a half. And they met in church.

Now about 12 weeks along, she's looking forward to raising the child in Louisiana, where it has a shot at a normal life. And her message for teens about premarital sex is "don't do it."

Every year, there's a holiday-time song that gets to me (even more than that Folgers commercial where the kid comes home to surprise his parents). It's about life, loss, regret, and what happens when reality intrudes on your hopes...

In case you haven't heard, there'll be no Christmas this year. At least not in the drafty English castle where Guy Ritchie and Madonna make their somewhat religiously confusing home. The adults are not exchanging presents, and the kids will...

I like a good celebrity interest story as much as the next person, but so much of celebrity news is--yes, I'll say it--neither news nor terribly interesting. And now that Hanukkah's over, I can rant a little bit about the...

In Pakistan's version of American Idol, singing well is not a requirement. But being a potential candidate for Prime Minister is. "Enter the Prime Minister," Pakistan's first reality TV show of its kind, begins broadcasting this month. The show, a...

'Tis the season for season's greetings, as winter-themed cards, family portraits and business announcements wing their way around the world to bring messages of peace and networking to all humankind. But are your greetings too generic? People don't read cards...

No one knows a daughter like her mother. And Amy Winehouse's mom, Janis, is smart enough to already know about her daughter's tattooed, belligerently drunk obstinacy. But she's still worried, and has released to a local London paper a passionately...

Happy 50th anniversary to everyone's favorite green personification of the absence of Christmas spirit, The Grinch. And Grinchy's got a new 50th-anniversary retrospective edition that contains the tale of the Grinch and all the Whos down in Who-ville, with an...

Wait a minute...the fourth wise man? I may be Jewish, but I'm pretty sure (mostly from Monty Python's "Life of Brian", and more recently from "The Nativity") that the account of the magi visiting baby Jesus only has three wise...

You may not have heard about "The Year My Parents Went on Vacation" yet, but you likely will. The film, which is billed as being in Portuguese, Yiddish and Hebrew (a bit of a misnomer since the Hebrew is all...

Dateline: Kansas. DG lives with her family on a farm, wears a pinafore-style apron as her work uniform, wears her hair in ponytails and rides her (motor) bike. And there's a storm coming. And that storm, in addition to being...