Kris Rasmussen: May 2007 Archives

With a possibly prophetic word of warning last week, Michael Lohan, dad to wild child Lindsay Lohan, spoke to the London tabloid The Mirror about his daughter's struggles with substance abuse. Now that Lindsay checked herself back into rehab after her latest crisis--in which she crashed her car and was charged with suspicion of driving under the influence--maybe the troubled starlet will finally listen to Dad's advice, learn from his mistakes, and find religion in the process.

Michael Lohan, who has served one jail sentence for fraud and another for drunken driving, took an online course while in prison to be certified--but not ordained--by the Assemblies of God denomination and has been devoting himself to ministry since he was released from prison earlier this year. Lohan now works with actor Stephen Baldwin running a Christian-based teen rehab program called "Teen Challenge" and told the Mirror that Lindsay is wasting "the gifts God gave her" and insisted that he can "help her in a lot of ways."

While Daddy Lohan might want to take a little more time making sure his own life changes actually stick before he tries to fix his daughter's woes, at least the younger Lohan knows of another treatment program she can try if her current stint at the Promises treatment center doesn't work out. But if Lindsay does some jail time for her latest transgressions , she might have the option to room with on-again, off-again party pal Paris who might even lend Lindsay her Bible.

If you are content with snazzy special effects, lots of swashbuckling action sequences and lots and lots of Johnny Depp one liners, then undoubtedly you will enjoy the third installment of the "Pirates of the Caribbean" franchise, "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End." However, if you are like me, and you appreciated the heart and mythology of the original "Pirates" as well as the zany humor of the sequel, you are going to be deeply disappointed in this latest chapter.

"At World's End" is a convoluted, ridiculously long (does any movie about pirates need to be almost three hours in length?) drama that is hard to follow and ultimately the nonsensical action wastes the opportunity to tell a great story about choices, destiny, and sacrificial love.

Trying to explain the plot of "At World's End" is a little like trying to explain all three seasons of "Lost" to someone who has never seen the TV show before. As the story opens, Will and Elizabeth are still attempting to find a crew and a ship so they can helm a rescue mission to find Jack Sparrow. However, there is a massacre of pirates being conducted by an evil Lord Beckett as well as other trials and tribulations for the pirate duo to overcome. Add to that, the ongoing story of saving Will's father, capturing evil Davey Jones' heart, and a "Lord of the Rings" style twist with the pirates Nine Brethren of the Court--a group that is to band together to save their piracy world--and it's no wonder my head was spinning only 90 minutes into the film.

The best part of the movie were the moments when we saw Will finally becoming the leader he was destined to be by making sacrifices for love and family, but that is only a small part of a bloated shipwreck of a story. I am also not a big fan of turning Davy Jones into less of a villain and more of a pirate who was just misunderstood. Why can't any of these blockbuster action movies allow their villains to be evil without making excuses for them?

If you stick around long enough to watch the twist after the closing credits, you will also realize there is a possibility for another "Pirate's" movie, though nothing has been annnounced. I, however, am of the opinion, that there is no more gold or treasure to be found in this cast of characters, and I hope Depp and the others choose to drydock this franchise.

Furthering the conspiracy theory that Christians are scewing the results of this year's "American Idol" finale, the song that won this year’s first-ever "American Idol" songwriting contest and sung by finalist Blake Lewis was written by a longtime Christian music recording artist Scott Krippayne and his pastor. The song, a cheesy ballad that makes last year's theme song, "You’ve had a bad day," look clever, will be sung by the winner on their debut album.

Did Blake’s weak performance of a really mediocre song ruin his chances of winning the competition? Or will having a singer with Christian roots--Jordin Sparks--be the perfect choice to make that song a hit if she wins "Idol" which will help Krippayne’s career soar as well?

I guess these are the earthshaking questions you diehard Idol fans will be tuning in tonight to find out.

Though I resigned myself to the series end of "Gilmore Girls" an entire year ago when creator/producer/writer Amy Sherman-Palladino left the show, I have to say that it was more difficult than I thought to say good-bye to Lorelai, Rory and the rest of the folks in Stars Hollow last night. This is despite the fact that this season has been nothing more than a cheap imitation of all that was once glorious about the show, and the finale really wasn't much of a grand farewell to some of the greatest characters ever on television.

Of course, Luke and Lorelai reunited, and naturally Rory found her first job as a journalist. But since no one working on the show knew when they were taping that this episode was going to be the last one, it had a very rushed, unfinished feel--with the only truly "Gilmore" moment coming early on in the show when real life news correspondent Christiane Amanpour, often mentioned by Rory as her role model, made a cameo appearance.

But these are not the real reasons for my sadness over the "Gilmore Girls" demise. For seven years, "Gilmore Girls"was perhaps the only show on television that was incredibly smart and funny while being unbashedly sweet and refreshingly uncynical. Unlike it's more acclaimed counterparts--shows like "Sex and the City," for example--"Gilmore" was sexy without being raunchy and sassy without being overly caustic. And the examination of complex female relaltionships may have never been served as well as it was through the Emily/Lorelai/Rory generational triangle. Sure, in the end, "Gilmore Girls" was absolutely escapist entertainment, but it was escapist entertanment I never had to feel guilty about watching.

So with the television landscape being overrun by reality TV and game shows, the real reason to mourn the loss of the Gilmore family is that it is highly unlikely any new shows will step up to fill the void left by this mother-daughter duo. Which means we are not saying simply goodbye to a show, but possibly to an entire style of storytelling. That is something to be truly to be sad about, which leaves me with only one hope: Anyone up for helping me start the letter writing campaign to Sherman-Palladino for "Gilmore Girls: The Movie"?

I have posted before about how I completely avoid "American Idol." I could care less if booted contestant Chris Sligh was Christian enough or what the world should think about Sanjaya's hair. But still, Idol mania in the media is almost impossible to avoid, and the latest chatter circulating the internet stems from the fact that one of the final contestants in particular--Gospel Music Association Spotlight winner Jordin Sparks--is caught up in a political controversy.

There is a photo of the seventeen-year-old Jordin Sparks circulating various fan sites in which she is holding a "Stop Abortion Now" sign. There are also other pictures popping up on various blogs of Sparks' performance at an Arizona Right To Life event in 2005. This is leading some television critics and media pundits to jump to conclusions that the Christian Right is having an undo influence on the Idol contest by fixing the always flawless and completely democratic Idol voting process.

Will there be a psuedo-liberal backlash to the personal and political beliefs of someone not old enough to vote ? I still won't be tuning in to find out. However, I might give outspoken conservative Christian singer Rebecca St. James a call to warn her she now has some serious competition.

The ex-wife of televangelist Jim Bakker, Tammy Faye Messner, has made a name for herself over the years since the scandal collapse of Bakker’s PTL Club for her over-the-top make-up and personality that appealed, for inexplicable reasons, to both certain...

While ABC's "Desperate Housewives" is known for its over-the-top storylines and tawdry sexual affairs, it is an emotional--not literal--affair that has been at the front and center of the show's final episodes.Lynette and Tom, the somewhat "normal" couple of Wisteria...

While I am not a big comic book superhero fan, I have always enjoyed the Spider-Man franchise for its unabashed mix of adventure and nerdishness with a touch of humor. And I can hardly argue with the recurring moral theme...

Many feature film directors learned the craft of moviemaking by originally making short films early in their careers. The Damah Festival, one of the most successful spiritually-themed film festivals (which focuses on short films), opens in Los Angeles starting tomorrow....