Nicole Symmonds: November 2007 Archives

When I was in middle school in 1993, a friend and I made up a Christmas carol to the tune of "Jingle Bells" so that we could win movie tickets from a local radio station. Our song was rife with references to how rabid people got during the holidays. We painted a lyrical picture that involved knocking people down, running through malls and rising crime rates. Yet, this was at a time when the hysteria surrounded Christmas was at a lull. More than ten years later, a zany pastor and his choir are employing the same concept but using it to encourage people to stop shopping in favor of finding the true meaning of Christmas in the Morgan Spurlock-produced documentary "What Would Jesus Buy?" in a limited number of theaters starting Friday.

Rev. Billy—Billy Talen—and his choir traveled across the U.S. to spread the message of salvation via shopping abstinence through revivals on street corners, proselytizing in Wal-Marts, and exorcising cash registers at Starbucks. Though he is a faux pastor, Rev. Billy preaches his "stop-shopping" messages with as much passion as a seminary-trained pastor. Throughout the film he makes use of the histrionics used by charismatic preachers as well as spiritual gifts like speaking in tongues and the laying on of hands. Yes, some may consider this blasphemy, but call me a heretic; I just couldn't pull myself away from it.

According to court papers released on Thursday, here is what Britney Spears does with her $737K monthly income (with some editorializing by yours truly):