Nicole Symmonds: January 2009 Archives

It was the moment millions of households had been waiting for. The moment when every Joe the Plumber and Jane Doe gets to play judge with the lives of people who are strangely certain that they are meant to be pop stars. It's American Idol and the more things change--the addition of a judge--the more things stay the same--most of the contestants still can't sing. So with last night's season premiere there were the usual barrage of contestants who flew from the other side of the country to wow the judges with their vocal prowess--or lack thereof.

Some of my favorite failures from last night: Michael Gurr who sung until he nearly puked; Elijah the baritone who clearly didn't know what to do with his deep range--but he was cute; and Sexual Chocolate who might have known how to sing but seemed to be more concerned about getting the Mustang his mom promised him if he didn't make it to Hollywood.

But let's fast-forward to the good stuff--and when I say good, I'm talking about the most talked about part of the show, a girl who shall only be known as Bikini Girl because I don't think she deserves a name otherwise. Is this statement cruel? Absolutely. Does she deserve it? I think so. So here's the story.