Very well put, Scot. Genuine friendship is such a grace, it’s difficult to truly capture it–such a wonderful gift. I do agree that a friend’s opinions are perhaps the least important thing about them. I once shared a train ride with a friend who had radically different opinions from my own, but that ride–4 hours or so–went by so quickly because it was a genuine sharing of ourselves. We laughed, shared experiences, expressed strong opinions, razzed each other about our opposing views, and set a foundation for a continuing conversation of friendship that grew over the next few years and lasts to this day.
What’s also interesting is that I know two people whose opinions are very nearly the same but who are very cold toward one another. I also know a married couple who have different political inclinations from one another and who express them quite directly, but whose relationship is rock solid and very warm–go figure!!
Blessings for a fruitful time in Minn.!

True friendship is such a gift from God. One can’t easily go and find a best friend without God’s grace.
Friendship is good model of “they will know you are my disciples if you love another”.
Ecumenicism and unity of the Body has been on my heart the last few years and I thought this would be a good spot to include this. Protestants may think that unity will be achieved when everyone accepts a lowest common denominator of essential beliefs and practices. Catholics teach that Protestant churches are tied to the Catholic church like life boats are towed by a big ship. The rope between the two boats is the connection whether you believe it of not. Life “juice” flows from the Catholic church to other “eccesial communions”. They themselves believe they have the fullness of truth through apostolic succession and the unbroken line of popes since the first pope Peter when Jesus said “upon this rock I will build my church.” Unity for them would be when everyone else accepts the Real Presence in the bread and wine and apostolic succession through the laying of hands. Paul to Timothy to Titus and on down through the Bishops. The fully visible incarnational approach.
Friendships transcend beliefs whether political or religious so I think unity may happen more along these lines. Unity may be along the lines of practical loving as opposed to changing your mind about what you believe. So are all the different denominations a scandal to unity or not? I think some but not all church splits are for the good. I don’t see how unity will ever happen along the lines of belief unless a drastic intervention from the Holy Spirit.

Scot,
you are very blessed.

i wish reality matched up with how you describe friendship. i recently was disowned by my best friend of 7 years after deciding to leave the church he pastors. he considered it a “break-up”. i suppose i wasn’t useful anymore or didn’t affirm his identity as a pastor.
im trying to reach out to him now, but he refuses to communicate with me and has asked me to cut off all contact with any of “his” college students (my former friends as well). i suppose its over. does anyone have any advice?

My heart breaks for you, Nick. You’ve just had 7 years of relational history rewritten for you – what you experienced as friendship has been redefined as “a collegial coworker relationship”. The relationship was useful to him as long as you labored in his workplace. It wasn’t a kingdom relationship for him, though it sounds as if it was for you.
This has happened to me a couple of times over the years, and it hurts, hurts, hurts. It helped me to know that I was mourning a deep loss, with all the attendant emotions that go along with the grieving process. I am less trusting now in my life- and continue to battle occasional flare-ups of bitterness toward those people – and towards others in their position or with their personality type. The grief, the damage to trust, and the battle with bitterness are not bad things. I have encoutered my own “ick” in this all, and continue to discover how much I need the mercy of Jesus in my life.
Every moment. 70 x 7.

thanks michelle for empathizing. yea i’ve learned a lot about true friendship lately. its all about accepting the person for who they are and enjoying being with them. its all about grace because that is how God’s love is. it isn’t pushy or coercive. it doesn’t make you feel like you don’t measure up to their expectations. that is legalism and pride. it involves loving without judging them, trying to fix them, or place conditions for them to meet to be on good terms. true love doesn’t demand anything. it allows the other person to freely respond out of love that is not coerced or manipulated. we don’t need to share all the same views in order to love. if that were the case then you would only be friends with people just like you. friendship is not based on views, its based on love. love that characterizes true friendship is dynamic, open, carefree, and unconditional.

That’s exactly it, Nick. And that kind of friendship is incredibly risky. If you commit yourself to people in true friendship, you’ll get hurt, burned, back-stabbed, heartbroken, betrayed, disappointed, enraged, humiliated, misunderstood, misconstrued, etc…. Though it’s risky, it’s the way to truly lean into life and, perhaps, even press closer into the heart of God… True friendship is truly living.

Very fitting I think: “God is the inner principle of all movement, the only identity which already fulfils and illuminates the universe. Everything is incorporated in this one principle, because it encloses infinity, it includes everything, and there is nothing that could be outside of it. ” Giordano Bruno