California Defines "Marriage"

Miriam, I think Paul would have said, "If you cannot control yourself trust in the grace of Jesus Christ and the power of his blood to keep you from struggling with your sexual sin." Paul affirms sexual desires for the opposite sex, but he never affirms sexual desires for the same sex. It would contradict his gospel to exhort same-sex couples to marry. And a gay marriage would not justify the sin of homosexuality before God.

darren, so we can't influence the culture working from our Christian convictions, but if we just deal with non-religious reality we're undermining our Christian teachings? Wow. Talk about no win situation! Sorry, but that sort of argument strikes me as only good for making sure you can shut those you disagree with up.

The simple reality is that marriage centered around biological families and bringing men and women together isn't a Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Janist, or any other sort of religious thing. All religions have recognized the inherent reality of marriage as essential to the proper functioning of society and families which societies depend on for their survival. However, the universal formation of some sort of marriage demonstrates that while culture may work our male-female marriage in differing ways, marriage itself is not cultural or religious. At its bottom marriage is rooted in biological and practical realities.

Darren, I think I get what you are saying. However, I think that what you are saying demonstrates exactly why gay marriage presents such a danger in a post-Christian world. It is desperately sad, but there is a real perception out there that marriage is no longer particularly relevant to the proper functioning of society for precisely the reasons you mention. However, perception and reality are two completely different things.

First off, every tiny piece of sociological data we have points to the fact, rooted in biology and human nature, that children do best in homes where they are raised by their married, biological mother and father. Children raised outside of this biological, permanent family unit (which is in no way a uniquely Judeo-Christian construct) are at exponentially higher risk for every imaginable problem. (There are exceptions and times when nuclear families are impossible, of course. However, these situations should be seen much like we see disabilities - something we should accommodate but clearly not something we view as normative or desirable.) Because the long term viability of a society is completely dependent on raising children into adults with the maturity and character necessary to carry forward what has been left to them by their forefathers, we need children to be raised in married, biological family units whenever possible. This is not an idea rooted in Judeo-Christian values. This is a reality recognized by pretty much every human culture through out time, backed up by every sociological study we have done. It comes out of biology and human nature, not religious ideas about right and wrong. (As a matter of fact, polygamy poses far less of a threat to society than abandoning this reality does. It is a threat to judeo-christian values like individual liberty, but leaves the essential biological/human nature basis for families intact.)

A society in which men are viewed as disposable and optional is also dooming itself to failure. Again, this is not a Judeo-Christian issue, but one rooted in human nature and backed up by sociological studies. Societies where men are not able to take on the responsibility of marriage and family are marked by high levels of violence, conflicts, criminal behavior, substance abuse and shortened life spans. Historians have explored at length what happens in these situations and it is not pretty. As someone who is married to an African American and has close relationships with many African Americans, I really hate to say this, but this view of men as unnecessary is probably at the root of virtually every social dysfunction which disproportionately affects the African American community. There is not much which is sadder than talking to an intelligent young African American man and seeing that he has utterly no sense of his place in this world. He has seen and been taught since he was a child that the women around him do not need men, that men are a problem and to the extent that they have any place, it is as a wallet for the child(ren) they donate sperm to create. (this is, of course not to say that every African American woman views men this way, but African Americans are far more likely than others to say that a woman can raise a child on her own.) If we insist on acting as if men are disposable, we are completely and utterly doomed. That is not a religious idea either, but again, one rooted in human nature.

The fact that these simple realities are seen as disposable, religious baggage is just about the worst indictment of our culture I can imagine. Being free of religion is not the same thing as being free from biology and human nature. I have been working with kids for years, including several years working with juvenile offenders. I have seen the fall out with children and with the people closest to me of what happens when we think we can just throw out old notions of family, men and women and our obligations to children. It is horrid, ugly, extremely difficult to ever recover from. I do not see how we as a society, regardless of our religious beliefs, can embrace the idea that biological families are outdated and men are disposable for long without bringing about our society's doom.