We observed youth leaders attempts at willing community during our kids’ teen years. The primary one was faux community in the form of cliques. The effects (the pain of exclusion) are still being felt in my kids’ lives years after the last lock-in or youth group trip to an amusement park.

Chris,
I think you are on to something. Community is created by mission. Last summer we participated in a Group Workcamps project on a Native American Reservation in Montana. There were 400+ kids working on various projects in 4 villages on the reservation. These kids were from all across the States- Maryland to California all with varying backgrounds. The sense of community that developed was a derivative of the mission. Most Christians never attempt anything that we cannot do themselves. As a result, we rarely need God or others.
But when we attempt something missional that can only be accomplished by God and with others, community is a result. Most of us have found that a sense of community is as elusive as a sense of happiness. When we pursue happiness as a goal we rarely find it. Those of us who are Christ followers would say that true happiness is byproduct of following Christ. In the same way, community is a side-effect of mission.

Call me crazy, but I still think the foundation of community is sharing. To suppose simplicity and purity are the two keys to community is to suppose that we can turn ourselves outward by becoming more inward beings. Whether they are shared spiritual experiences, shared sacrificial love of others, or shared lives in general, community can only be fostered when we live a life poured out instead of kept in.
Transparency is far more significant in my experience than purity and simplicity, which help individual spiritual development and thus are attributes to a true Christian community. True community is always a function of love for God and love for others.

I second what Tom (#2) has to say. Someone has said that if you aim at community, you will miss it every time. But if you aim at a common vision/mission/purpose, community will be the natural byproduct.
I’d like to know how a youth director fosters simplicity and purity when those values are not demonstrated by the culture, the parents, or the congregation. How is that possible?

Sue #4, I believe creating a new culture begins by distancing whatever ministry you have from the status quo. In my tiny little town in Nevada, that meant collecting cell phones before the meeting. First the students thought I was punishing them, but a few months later they realize the value of simply being present. We don’t do hyped games or videos. We reflect and discuss together. We do life together. For our students, Thursday night is a night to get away from their world. How do we help them expand this culture beyond the walls of the church . . . now THAT’S a tough question.

jon (5), great idea and practice.

I would argue that community is sharing AND mission or purpose. You can shoot for a goal together and never grow to know each other. Or you can share your deepest secrets and never develop a true community. Community is multi-faceted.
Over a year ago my husband and I joined a new community group at our church. All year we tried to will community. We all wanted and envisioned a close-knit group of people that loved and served together. It didn’t happen. Now it is starting to, and while there were multiple things that might have been standing in our way, part of the problem was simple that we needed time to pass. Community is made of relationships, and relationships are formed by walking together through life, which… takes time.
In light of that, I think what students need from us is for us to walk alongside them and take part in their life. It takes time. It takes investment and sacrifice. Over time, relationships deepen, they experience community in a new way and LEARN how to take part in it, enabling them to do the same with those around them.
Community is not unlike our relationship with God journey in the right direction.

The series here is about youth, but this immediately made me think of our church. Would love to see our church become community-minded. They are warm and easily respond to newcomers as family, yet there is something missing as well. Some sort of sea change would be required. I believe it starts small and grows. It needs to be owned by the individuals – they can’t just go along with another crazy idea from the pastor. I am guessing it might start with a smaller group and then spread, like ripples. I am guessing it is also like what Phillip Keller says about grace: it is hard to grace others unless you have been graced yourself. I’m all questions and no answers on this one, really.
Reading Cymbala’s “Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire” is inspiring and raises a similar question: how to shepherd a group to the Lord in prayer? How to get people to see the benefit and need for transforming time with God?