Changing Locations: by PW

Monday May 4, 2009

Categories: Pastor's Spouse

This is an ongoing series by a pastor's spouse about pastoral life from that angle. In this post we are asked to converse about the implications of pastoral geographical relocations.

By PW: How have ministry relocations affected your ministry "home base"? Has this affected your family adversely? Or has it enriched your family's experiences? How about the pastor(s) of your local church? How important is it to your congregation that they put down roots and be a long-term part of your community?

A number of years ago, I met someone for the first time and as we gained acquaintance, we each exchanged some of our story. I don't often blurt out that I am a ministry spouse in the first 5 minutes of meeting someone. I like to get to know them and allow them to get to know me. This one person, Kara, was casually chatting with me at a school function and she tossed into the conversation that her family has "relocated a number of times." She was concerned about her children and their adjustment to the new school, etc.

This has happened to our ministry family as well--I thought we had moved A LOT. So I listened and asked a few friendly questions. Kara disclosed that they had moved over 20 times since she and her husband married.

Now, my mind is creative and the possibilities that occurred to me were many. I thought: oh, well! Maybe they are military (usually they move as often as ministry families)...maybe fugitives...maybe corporate... In fact, her spouse was in education and had been working up the ranks of K-12 education. I was empathetic to her concerns for her family.

I have had to help our family adjust to several moves. Thankfully, they have been fairly reasonable when you think about it.

What about you? How many times have you moved? How has it affected your family and you and your ministry?

Comments (7)

Filed Under: Ministry Relocations, Pastor's Spouse

posted by Scot McKnight @12:00am Permalink email icon

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RJS

May 4, 2009 6:33 AM

How common is the frequent move? I think it depends on personality and situation in many cases. I've been involved in churches all my life where the average tenure for the pastor was around 10 years (some much more) in the same church. Even staff stability for the associates is 5 years or so - often more.

My brother-in-law is a pastor (20 years) and they have moved twice. Once was intentionally a move - to a "sending church" preparing them to start a new church plant.

Is the profession really any more mobile than many other professions in our current rather transitory society?

Angie Ward

May 4, 2009 8:15 AM

http://www.missionalfamily.com

We have moved twice, but for three churches. First, from seminary to our first church; second, from that church to a church in our current area; third, from that church, which closed, to our current church. That last "move" did not require a change in address or doctors or hairdressers or even some friends, but it was the most painful. Sometimes I wished for a new start, instead of a reminder of a painful experience in this same town. But two years into our current church, I find that the transition was messier, but also richer.

We do not know whether God will move us ten times, or keep us here for ten more years. We do feel like we are nomadic in that we do not view any place as permanent. It's not that we want to move every few years, but we do want to be willing to God's movement in our lives, even if that means a physical move to another location.

Even though we are located in the U.S. and have family nearby, we feel like we are missionaries and need to be intentional about finding emotional support outside of (and in addition to) our church community. Our children are ages 10 and 8. This has been the only town they remember, but they have experienced two churches. We try to impress on them that we must follow God's call, even when we don't know much about the destination.

May 4, 2009 9:43 AM

RJS, not too long ago (5 years?) the average tenure for a pastor in the USA was said to be about 3.5 years. Given the rarity that a pastor "move up" or "shift jobs" in a single church, moving or changing churches is a norm. I think there is a large variance in between denominations or when you compare rural to urban/suburban. But generally speaking, military kids and ministry kids have often been compared for some of the same issues.

Jim Marks

May 4, 2009 10:46 AM

http://jhimm.net/wabi_sabi

My wife is an academic. Neither of us are or aspire to be pastors. We've about to move for the third time in four years (and will need to move again in another six, give or take) in order for her to pursue her career.

This is brutal for having any sense of a home church or a fellowship with other believers.

You all have my empathy.

Jim Martin

May 4, 2009 9:51 PM

http://www.godhungry.org

Since seminary, we have moved three times. Each move too much energy but was also energizing as well. The major challenge in a couple of these moves was how far we would be from our families.

Overall, I think our family handled these moves well. We took the attitude that this was going to be a wonderful adventure. We told our children and that everything was going to be all right and that we were going to enjoy our new place. Charlotte and I felt like we set the tone for whatever the kids experienced. If we communicated anxiety, fear, etc. then that would probably rub off on our children. However, if we communicated calmness, confidence, and a positive outlook, that would probably impact them as well. We attempted to have the latter attitude.

Great question.

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Scot McKnight is a widely-recognized authority on the New Testament, early Christianity, and the historical Jesus. He is the Karl A. Olsson Professor in Religious Studies at North Park University (Chicago, Illinois). A popular and witty speaker, Dr. McKnight has given interviews on radios across the nation, has appeared on television, and is regularly asked to speak in local churches and educational events. Dr. McKnight obtained his Ph.D. at the University of Nottingham (1986). Click to continue reading Scot McKnight's Bio...

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