Friday is for Friends: Rick Evans

This is an interesting set of questions. I am definitely on the "introvert" side of the scale - social occasions are generally draining, not invigorating. We certainly expect our leaders - pastors at least - to be extroverts; or at least to act as though they are which can bring real stress.

But I don't think that personality traits are distinctions that will be erased in the kingdom for a bland sameness.

Hmmm.....certainly some of my walk in terms of loving
God and others in retro have been because of
extroversion. For example a personal choice to
teach rather than to do field work.

I have always felt that the Holy Spirit has been
working on my character. Have you heard "when
you smile when no one else is around, you really
mean it". Us extroverts think at heart that this
is prejudice. I'm saying that a lot of my
character development has been the Spirit working
on me with psychic noise levels an introvert
couldn't deal with. Today I'm truly happy compared to
my younger years, but it didn't happen in quiet
times. You couldn't cure my neuroses by placing me
in a pastural retreat. Being placed on earth with
6 billion others, technolgy exploding, and plural
worked for me.

God is not egalatarian in one respect. God can tailor
circumstances for each individual. Don't the best
missionaries talk of being sensitive to how God is
working. But in my heart (with Peter) I know that
it is true that God does not show favoritism. It
definitely impacts theology.

My introversion made things hard during my 3-year term on Session (translating for non-Presbyterians, that's a board of Elders that in principle governs the local church). In a group that is supposed to work as a body, slinking home alone after meetings while others were in conversation left me isolated.

I think many churches are unwelcoming environments for introverts. The typical Men's Retreat is no place for a reflective introvert (I expect Promise Keepers would be worse, but I haven't been). Or the common "take two minutes and greet your neighbors" at the beginning of a worship service is hard in a large church where you probably don't know them. At one point my church did a "two-minute rule" where people were asked to only talk to people they didn't know in the first 2 minutes after the service -- I think the extroverted leader who pushed this had no clue what hell this would be for the introverts among us.

Maybe worst for me is the guilt of being so far from the picture one gets of the ideal Christian. The ideal Christian builds relationships with many neighbors and coworkers and tells them about Jesus. I seldom interact with my neighbors and am finally getting some comfort level in relationships with coworkers after 14 years at my current job. The ideal Christian is out serving the poor and marginalized, talking to some homeless person while sharing a meal. I tend to support those ministries in non-people-contact ways (financially and behind the scenes), but that doesn't seem as much like following Jesus as direct contact.

While I think my introversion and reflectiveness has positive aspects that contribute to the body of Christ, I also wonder if there are aspects of my introversion that need to be overcome, that I should pray to be delivered from.

Great topic!! Any other introverted youth pastors out there? My stereotype of youth pastors - i.e., crazy, hyper-active, goofy, video-gaming, slimy game planning, guitar hero playing folks with spiky colored hair - really deterred me from youth ministry for years. I'm a book-loving, quiet, one-on-one, deep thinking guy who hates slimy group mixers and video games...and I'm a high school pastor.

Help!

Fortunately, I put this stereotype to rest. I have had enough people tell how they connected with their youth pastor BECAUSE he was more reserved and easy going.

My thought: We need to be part of ministry TEAMS precisely because different minister types connect better with different people. This is kind of an obvious fact - but the church has still not rid itself of the idea that one pastor can minister to everyone. Our ministry is best when I am surrounding myself with a couple wild and crazy lay leaders who can fill the toilet with Mountain Dew and Baby Ruth bars at those Wednesday night gatherings.

Be who God made you to be, friends. Peace.

peelingdragonskin.wordpress.com

AHH (#5)

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Very helpful and thought-provoking, as were the other comments as well. I am still pondering some the issues raised here.

Introversion/extroversion are styles that reflect preferences, meaning there is no right or wrong way of being; however, 75% of the general population are on the extroversion side of the continuum. This often puts us introverts under suspicion and on the outs.

I think I'll go climb back in my hole now.

Hi everyone - Scot already knows about this, but I wanted to let you know that I've written a book about introverts in the church. You'll remember the title because it's called "Introverts in the Church." InterVarsity Press is releasing it in October. I look at the Christian life and Christian community through the lens of introversion. I explore topics like spirituality, community, leadership, worship, and evangelism with my introverted perspective. The link will take you to the IVP page.