I have observed in the USAmerican evangelical world some major screw ups on this issue. We talk a great game regarding grace, but can’t seem to live it. With ourselves or others. There is an increasing ignorance between the Old Covenant and New Covenant with the central, controlling pivot being Jesus Christ and his redemptive mission. Since the Old Covenant operated on contingencies (e.g., the blessings and cursings formula of Deut. 28), then unwitting New Covenant believers, not knowing how to treat/use/comprehend the Bible with the astounding event of Jesus, read contingencies into New Covenant life. We must perform to be blessed. Radical, extravagant, liberating grace is viewed as too weak to prevent sin (you know the old saw, “What? Shall we sin that grace may abound?”). We must have commands. We must Do something to show God how good we are. Then, and only then, will God smile on us. At some level, it is the cleverest lie of the devil sown into our hearts.

I like you John

Preach it John.
So many Christians place doing ahead of being. Also, the influence of the world we live in, especially the Western culture, has far more sway over the church than most christian would want to admit. Western culture places so much emphasis on self promotion, image and success, that its little wonder the church absorbs this bias, especially when it gets encouraged from the pulpit so often.

I think we regard God as someone whose favor needs to be earned because we’ve bought into society’s lie that that’s the way the world works. But as Christians, we shouldn’t be looking for what’s fair. It’s interesting that you use the term tit-for-tat. When dealing with a disciplinary issue at church, one of the guilty parties comrades was wearing me out with phone calls and e-mails about the perceived injustice of the situation and wanted to tell me all about what the other person had done. When I finally told him I was not going to get into a tit-for-tat conversation with him — presto — the calls and e-mails stopped!
I think a deep, realization of the grace of God enables ones to see that there is nothing to be earned from God. We simply receive with grateful hearts that which we did not deserve and hopefully pass that grace on to others.

I think it is here we see blatantly one’s psychological make up. Why do we get locked into earning favor from God? – because that’s how it was with our parents, had to earn their favor by doing something, whether being cute or some deed. seems to me.