Top Five Mistakes in Marriage?

1. Not saying "Yes, dear" quick enough.
2. Not taking out the garbage without being told.
3. Not answering this question: "Does this make me look fat?"
4. Not asking for directions.
5. Not remembering that a second cousin twice removed was once married to a used car salesman who wore plaid sports coats and the deserted cousin languished in despair until she met a Saudi prince who took her to Paris and bought her a bronzed statue of Napoleon which she later traded in a pawn shop in Bakersfield, CA for a utility wet vac.

I'd like to know what your top five are reJoyce.

John, I hope you're kidding.

Off the top of my head, I'd say:

1. Disrespect
2. Taking each other for granted
3. Neglecting physical intimacy
4. Overspending
5. Failure to build high fences around the relationship

My husband adds 6. Poor communication.

I'll need to think through my responses a bit more, but note that RJS's highlights the need to be able to set up the blog so that we can read the full post AND comments simultaneously on the same page. I had to go "back" to recall what 2, 3, and 4 originally were.....

Here are some of the common mistakes we encounter:

1) Withholding what we really feel/think.

2) Expressing what we really feel/think, but in hurtful or other unproductive ways.

3) Assuming that we fully understood the other person's hurtful words/actions without first asking them to clarify what happened (or even giving them the chance to clarify what happened).

4) Not making clear agreements (emphasis on "clear") about the resolution of conflicts, such that we have the very same understanding and expectations about how the conflict will be dealt with.

5) Doing things for the other person for all the wrong reasons (such as wanting appreciation or to prove ourselves), and then being disappointed/hurt/angry/frustrated with the other person's response.

I missed your clarification in comment #3 Scot. Mine were things we've tried to avoid.

Correction to above:
Ignoring our most significant other in this life is NOT just a mistake, it's fatal if allowed to be habit.

- Placing your spouse above God

- Placing yourself above your spouse

- Dishonesty of any form (both overt lying and withholding emotion)

- Passive Aggressiveness (cynicism and sarcasm are, I think, BIG issues for younger couples)

- Forgetting to continue to fall in love and grow with your spouse, not just beside your spouse

Really, the top mistake in marriage is the same as the top mistake of everyday life; placing yourself (or someone else) above God. Inherently, breaking these two sections leads to either selfishness at the expense of your spouse or idolization of your spouse that needs her to be the Savior that you need Christ to be. It more specific terms . . . I have no idea. I'll come back when I've actually been part of a relationship and have gained wisdom from experience as well :)

1. not listening and hearing one another
2. disrespecting one another
3. taking one another for granted
4. using an unkind tone with one another.
5. not taking time to have fun together.

these are my top five.

My five for what it is worth at http://faithpraxis.blogspot.com