Two of my students, in the last month, have sat in my office in tears -- their problem, though from two different angles, was doubt. Everything was changing, they were confused, they were having trouble finding their way ... Advertisement
Two of my students, in the last month, have sat in my office in tears -- their problem, though from two different angles, was doubt. Everything was changing, they were confused, they were having trouble finding their way ... Scot McKnight is a widely-recognized authority on the New Testament, early Christianity, and the historical Jesus. He is the Karl A. Olsson Professor in Religious Studies at North Park University (Chicago, Illinois). A popular and witty speaker, Dr. McKnight has given interviews on radios across the nation, has appeared on television, and is regularly asked to speak in local churches and educational events. Dr. McKnight obtained his Ph.D. at the University of Nottingham (1986). Click to continue reading Scot McKnight's Bio...
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B, I was sorry to read about the death of your baby. I had a son born 17 weeks early - just short of "legal viability", doctors would not intervene and I had no choice but to hold him and love him for 20 precious minutes until he died. That experience shook my faith down to its foundations. I crouched in the dust and ashes of my belief in God and wept a hundred thousand tears. I learned - slowly - to base my faith on daily decisions rather than emotions. In my search for understanding I went back to school and got a Bachelor in Theology. It fed my mind but did not reinstate my joy, because I no longer TRUSTED God. I didn't feel supported by my church community either, who couldn't seem to grasp the pain I was in - this made me a "nominal Christian" in their eyes, I suppose.
Let me share what DID help: 1)I spent many years supporting and helping other families who had experienced similar tragedies. Spending time reaching out to others and being surrounded by a community of people who truly understood my struggles helped restore my faith in what it means to be human;
2)When God was "absent" I looked for him in the face of every loving Christian who reached out a hand to me in the darkness. I searched their expressions of concern and tenderness for hints of God and I found him THERE. That's where he is hiding, dear B.
It's been 9 years since my son died and I find myself unexpectedly pregnant at 40. There goes my Masters in Biblical Theology! Like your wife, this wasn't supposed to happen. I'm 16 weeks along and already I've had surgery to try and stop this little one from arriving too soon. Doctors aren't too optimistic. Will I have to go through the horror again? Or will it all work out this time? UGH! I just don't know. I'm crawling through it, moment by moment. God may not deliver me from more tragedy, but he is WITH me through all of this. That's all I know. I won't ever get over my pain, and I'll tell you the truth: neither will you. But you WILL get THROUGH it. God has not left you; he will not leave you; his Son is the guarantee of his everlasting love for you both. May you be comforted by that.
Yours in understanding and prayer, Rachel
perhaps rebeccat misunderstood what i intended to say. i was referring to the statement of God making himself more visible from an "apologetics" perspective, not necessarily from that feeling believers experience from time to time..ie. not feeling God is close to them, or on their side, or doubting perhaps his goodness.
By far here is one of my favorite stories that i have shared many times. Corrie ten Boom tells us of a story that happened to her near the end of her life. She was retired from ministry and some friends from her church pooled resources and bought a home that she could retire in as she lived out her final years on this planet. she reflects on how folk commented, ``Isn`t God good, isn`t He kind to provide for you at this time.`` As i recall the story, Corrie said, ``yes, God is good and yes He is kind in this amazing provision, but God was also just as good and just as kind when my sister Betsy died in my arms in that concentration camp.`` for my money, that woman`s faith and capacity for trust endured through one of the darkest valleys any of us could traverse.
I wonder if anyone has read James K. Smith's new book of collected essays - The Devil Reads Derrida:And Other Essays on the University, the Church, Politics, and the Arts. Great read on the whole, but one essay has garnered hope for me the last few months entitled "The Secret Lives of Saints: Reflections on Doubt." He writes about his own experience and about Thomas's experience of being the last of the original twelve to see Jesus resurrected. He sites what Kierkegaard pointed out, that a week passed before Jesus appeared to Thomas. A week! He makes a clear distinction between saying, "I won't believe," and, "I can't believe." He also lays out pretty clearly the differences of faith and conviction. Smith's essay has been very encouraging lately. Just a recommendation to pass on.
Adam (#35) Jamie Smith is totally on the ball! D'accord!
check out my new conversation on belief net: 111 Words of Doubt, hoping to get lots of posts regarding what makes faith difficult for people. -marc
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