“My MRI is on Thursday,” I said to Elizabeth Edwards a month ago.
“I go in for my next round of appointments in a couple weeks.” she said.
“Has everything been clear up till now?”
“Yeah,” she said, knocking on wood and saying, “Thank God.”
Elizabeth Edwards and I shared a common experience of overcoming dreaded disease. Hers was breast cancer. Mine was a brain tumor. We got each other.
I told her how one of my blog readers, a neuro-oncologist, had chided me because I had taken up professional bass fishing after my White House days. I was irresponsible, the doctor told me. I should be advocating for brain tumor patients. I told her I didn’t want to become known as “the brain tumor guy.”
She understood. Even though she wrote about her breast cancer recovery, she didn’t want to be the breast cancer woman either. She wanted to go on and live life. We left with a promise to pray for each other.
My MRI was fine. I’ve wondered how her tests had gone and smiled thinking no news was inevitably good news. Then this morning’s word that there would be a campaign announcement about her health. I knew what it was, what it had to be and I just stopped and images of needles and pills and chemo came flooding in…things I know too well.
I had no doubt about what would happen to the campaign. It would go on. She wouldn’t allow anything else. To quit the campaign would be to give in to the disease – it would be the ultimate admission of being the “cancer woman.”
I can’t imagine the conversations she had with her husband – except that I can. How much will the illness define us? How much will we become steely fighters? How much will we just withdraw from the spotlight and fight this illness alone, with friends? What if… What if these are the last days? What would we regret more…?
When I interviewed John Edwards a few weeks ago, he answered a question about the suffering he’d endured – the loss of a son, Elizabeth’s cancer – by saying that his faith had come “roaring back” in order for him to survive. We all need to pray for that roaring faith – for him, Elizabeth, and their children. We need to pray for healing for her. And for us? That this illness puts politics in perspective for more than the next news cycle. For the other candidates? That they focus more on issues of compassion.
posted March 22, 2007 at 10:18 pm
That’s a nice prayer request, and I’ll be happy to hold up the Edwards for healing and the rest of us for the simple and obvious understanding that politics are trivial next to the lives we’re given and the sleep we’re promised.
posted March 22, 2007 at 11:59 pm
Praying is fine but what about just slowing down to see what God is trying to reveal right in front of your eyes? You can’t pray for perspective. You have to experience it, live it. And it’s not just the blowhards and such who need pried away from the routine (often mindless) act everyday society demands.
posted March 22, 2007 at 11:59 pm
Don’t you really think the right thing to do is what Edwards said before deciding to enter the campaign? He said (see my blog for cites) he would not run unless his wife had a clean bill of health. This is a serious situation for them–and the type of person I consider a real man would give up his ambition in a situation like this. ~Becky
posted March 23, 2007 at 1:10 am
My 10 year-old daughter fell off her bike over the weekend and needed 5 stitches in her knee. Two days later it was infected, the stitches had to come out, and she was put on antibiotics. In the ER, as we were waiting, she asked me “Why did God let the bacteria grow in my knee?” A long discussion followed about bacteria, sin, fallen worlds, God’s sovereignty, His faithfulness, suffering, His presence, His plan, etc. All this over an infected knee. I’m awed that families and individuals face death and very serious illnesses, undoubtedly ask themselves these kinds of questions, and often ultimately deal with death and the hard questions about why God allows Mommy/Daddy/Me to get sick and die. I do pray that the Edwards family’s faith comes roaring to meet the challege they face, and that mine will rise to a roar too…no matter what the circumstances of my life are…..
posted March 23, 2007 at 2:13 am
Becky, The news conference I saw today showed that the Edwards want to live and the country will thank them for that. They truly are an inspriration for us all and will make changes that benefit us all. Isn’t that what faith is about.
posted March 23, 2007 at 2:20 am
I had a scare that I might have had cancer recently. Just the scare was enough to pause. So, for whatever it is worth, lets pray and not be so mean. Life is to short to be petty.
posted March 23, 2007 at 2:34 am
David – I’ve listened to you on several news outlet and your sincerity and honesty hit me on almost a visceral level . I just had no doubt that you were real and authentic . Unusual in in this world of “commercial ” religions that emphasize the sect and not universal brotherhood . I think good thoughts of you and Elizabeth Edwards when I think of God and I just know He thinks the same .
posted March 23, 2007 at 2:37 am
You and I get it. Some don’t. They are the ones who ask, “Why is he still running?” That the beast returned is a huge disappointment and threat–the one we all fear. Yet, I understand completely why Edwards is still running. I imagine it’s because Elizabeth said, “You must carry forth the dream.” Cancer today is such a quirky thing. The doctors will try one treatment and still have some in reserve. It’s early for Elizabeth and who knows the course of her journey. I applaude the family for holding onto to hope and their decision to continue to live despite the beast’s return.
posted March 23, 2007 at 3:04 am
Every time I see you on television, or read your blog, I continue to be impressed. Perhaps if the many leading spokesmen for the “religious right” came across with your empathy and reasonable tone and focused less on the most contentious issues that divide us, the tenor of our political conversations would be more pleasant. Elizabeth Edwards has been a woman of uncommon grace and courage in the face of adversities that would bring many to their knees in despair. I greatly admire her personal strength and the obvious love and support she and her husband have for each other.
posted March 23, 2007 at 5:06 am
I have to admit, I was one who said “Why is he still running”… But, the more I hear, the more I see… He’s running because SHE said to do it. I hope this issue doesn’t hurt him. But we all know that some scum bag is going to use it against him.
posted March 23, 2007 at 2:16 pm
Thank you for a lovely post.
posted March 23, 2007 at 3:04 pm
This was a decision that John and Elizabeth made as a family and we should respect that.
posted March 23, 2007 at 4:17 pm
Liz, the problem is that there are people who will use this as a derogatory, and unfortunately, there are voters who don’t think for themselves. It’s not a case of “What is he thinking”, I see it as a case of “Standing by my man, come what may. Maintaining my dignity and hope.” But too many will use this as a weapon.
posted March 23, 2007 at 4:34 pm
There are those who will think and say that it is a plot to bolster a lagging candidacy. And to say thats sad doesnt even begin to cover it.
posted March 23, 2007 at 5:42 pm
Those who attack him for running, may do so in a misguided effort to express concern for her (“how could he do that…” “a real man would stay home”) are in actuality seriously disrespecting Elizabeth. She is not a fragile orchid to be protected in some case. She is a human being, and I reckon she has made the decision, if shes going to go out, it;s going to be fighting for what she believes int. And right now, that’s making sure America has the chance to choose her exceptionally talented, caring and thoughtful husband to be its next President. They have campaigned from the beginning as a team, and as a family. Let them make their own decisions.
posted March 23, 2007 at 6:58 pm
Well said. Thanks. I’m praying for the Edwards’ family……
posted March 23, 2007 at 7:57 pm
What a wonderful collection of comments – truly beautiful.
posted March 23, 2007 at 8:42 pm
i will pray for the edwards’ family, and for a nation who may well be enlightened a bit during their campaign. i have no idea who i’ll vote for, but i certainly cant find a reason to hold this situation against the John. i hope others will see past the enevitable mud slinging that will come from it.
posted March 24, 2007 at 12:09 am
All of you go ahead and pray away. I’ll continue to pray for positive results myself. But this very sad and common (unfortantely) story plays out in so many different ways all the time. It all plays out each day, in my life and yours.
posted March 24, 2007 at 12:16 am
Oh, and, thank you David for this otherwise “silent” forum. I feel like this is Church everday of the week,
! My hope is that others see that it’s very productive to expound upon one’s prayers.
posted March 27, 2007 at 4:51 pm
Mr. Kuo, keep up the good work. You have been an inspiration to many of us. It is totally breathtaking to hear voices that “cut to the chase.” We desparately NEED clear and straight messages from our leaders and citizens who are not willing to be frightened into desparate means.
posted March 27, 2007 at 4:53 pm
Bravo John and Elizabeth for having the grace and courage to stand up and move forward rather than lie down to this disease. They have a tremendous fight ahead of them and together with their faith, family and friends will match the enemy blow for blow until the end, whatever that may be. Our prayers are that this brave woman and family be victorious over the horrid disease. Living their life and dreams are an important focus which will save them from being thought of as “poor Edwards, the cancer candidate” and instead being a vibrant family, side-by-side, hitting life face on. As one who had “virtually no chance” to survive, here I am 4 years later and cancer-free! Ours is an awesome God who is far wiser than the doctors or pundits who second-guess Him and us. God bless and keep the Edwards family!
posted March 18, 2008 at 9:59 am
I still am not a fan of his politically, but I am very encouraged that Spiritually we will get a chance to discuss all of our disagreements for an eternity in heaven.