I was having lunch with a brilliant friend who also happens to be a wonderful storyteller. He is a philosopher and a lawyer and a Catholic.
What, he asked me, is the question I would least like to hear from God when he asks why I should be admitted to heaven?
My mind start racing - "What did you do for the poor?" "Why did you spend so much on Apple products?" "Why did you talk better than you lived?" There were just so many of them.
"Wanna know what mine is?" he asked.
Of course, I said.
He paused.
"Ok, so I get to heaven and God says, 'I have one question for you. Suppose a train is leaving San Francisco at 70 MPH and another is leaving...."
That is actually a most terrifying question. Does anyone like those questions?
ADDITION: What is your horror question (in the spirit of the train question)? Mine might actually be, "Hey, remember all those years of Chinese you took? Say, 'Please let me into heaven and you are in.'"
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I thought terrorizing was what Hell was all about. Once we get that far, I don't think there will be terrorizing treatment. Considering speeding trains, there should be plenty of time to learn all the math in the world in heaven (some of my math loving friends actually enjoy solving those kinds of problems.)
If God asks me embarrassing questions, I'll say, "I was a fleshly schmuck. I'm only here because of Your grace and mercy."
Almost fell out of my chair on that last one, as if the math problem wasn't funny enough! Thanks for the smile, David.
John E.- I once misheard my pastor talking about God knowing all the thoughts and deeds of every man, thinking he said everyone in Heaven would see them as well. I thought to myself how embarrassing it would be for not only God to know but all of Heaven as well! However, I can still picture myself entering the gates of Heaven and having God ask me that question as a joke, knowing what I thought I heard years before.
I think being asked why I should be let into heaven is frightening enough. I shouldn't be, but I trust that through Christ's redemption I will be.
That said, I think it would definitely be the math. I can think up good answers to just about anything else, but I can't b.s. my way out of math.
Which came first, the chicken or the egghead?
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