I can’t get this little boy out of my thoughts…and prayers. Last evening’s wrenching update:
9/20/2007
Thursday night in the ICU
Family, Friends, & Fans…….
The day that was
Mitchell’s breathing has improved exponentially. He is as comfortable as a boy can be who has a mask over his face……and can’t eat, drink, and talk. However, oxygen is very much in fashion this fall………it is the one item you can’t live without! I gotta tell you – this is a very, very difficult place to be. When you watch them wheel your kid down here, gasping and incoherent……….your mind just sez: “So…….this is what it looks like when it goes down……..I am watching the movie of my kids life played out right in front of me and we are getting ready to fade to black”. Fade to black – Roll the credits – and crumble. It was a very difficult and emotional day.
Where we stand
We are down to our last drug for chemo………..buying time on a bi-pap respirator in order to try and pinpoint the exact type of infection is damaging his lungs. 2 out rally, indeed! I can tell you that I will always put my faith in Christ and my money on Mitchell………and so we shall fight until we have nothing left………..not a breath, not a heartbeat………we shall never waiver……..and that is the stock from which we are made and the legacy that we shall leave. If God chooses to heal Mitchell, it will indeed be a miracle. If not, then we shall give praise and thanks for time we have gotten to spend with him.
Either way, Mitchell wins.
Either way, God reigns.
I cannot imagine, I don’t want to imagine. I suppose this is where the cynics would say faith is nothing but a chimera. I suppose this is where Jesus would say faith begins. More by will than anything I choose Jesus.
Here’s Mitch:
posted September 21, 2007 at 7:39 am
Praying for Mitch here in Georgia.
posted September 21, 2007 at 8:56 am
There he is! A great looking kid.
posted September 21, 2007 at 10:06 am
I recall this so much. Weeks in a hospital with the suspicion always there that we wouldn’t leave as a family this time are the norm. It sounds as if this is a battle that will only be ended in heaven, but I have seen so many kids come back from this brink – including my own. I can feel the room – been there so many times. Prayer surrounds such families because sometimes – there is no ability to pray in those rooms. Others have to do it. It’s too hard.
posted September 21, 2007 at 10:45 am
If faith were just a wish upon nothing, I would not be crying right now. I would not pray for Mitchell. I would see Mitch through my tears and move on as if nothing were before my eyes but a saline solution.
But I see God. I feel caring in my body. I can see the picture of a child that Jesus said was precious. I can feel it as if I were in the room with Mitch.
Nothingness from nothingness to our world . . . could not make me feel this way. Random processes do not make a heart ache or sing with joy.
God has made us in His image. So I know that God is there because I can feel my emotions like a rock striking the ground or a Falcon soaring.
I cannot understand why people suffer. But I know what it feels like to hug my child and I know what it is like to feel them as if they were “part of you.”
I know suffering and I know joy.
I do not understand either.
I know there is a God who does.
“I love you Mitchell.”
I know that too.