Two portraits of grief and forgiveness

When I taught "the Kingdom of God" last year, it was during the time around the Amish school shooting. I had my students trace where the message went - of forgiveness and love - all year students brought new evidence that the Kingdom is now. A Cardinal preached that the actions of the Amish gave him faith, a comedian seriously said that - that was a Christianity he could join - except for the fact that he would miss any chance of a GQ spread. Preachers, rabbis, a famous Inman in New York - all preached on the moment we glimpsed the kingdom in the grief and goodness of the Amish. We don't forget such things and then righteous anger becomes a little less righteous and holy vengeance does not seem holy at all. We rightfully continue to mourn the victim of 9/11, but sometimes I think such events feed a part of us that is more like Ron Goldman than the Amish.

To follow Doug's post even further, the Amish have taken care of the killer's widow, not the killer himself. There is a difference. To extend sympathy to the widow (who lost her husband through no fault of her own, and who had nothing to do with the murders) is obviously an expression of Christian virtue.
It would be comperable to showing compassion to the parents of the two Columbine killers. It's not the same as forgiving the (dead) students who killed so many of their peers. It's recognizing that the parents are themselves grieving. (Although in that case they may perhaps bear some responsibility if they blinded themselves to what direction their children were going.)

This has nothing to do with what OJ got away with. MURDER!?? It seems to happen all the time. MY brother was murdered Jan. 11, 06. I live in Stokes county, North Carolina. He told me during the three months prior to his death, there would be 4 coming at him, he said he could handle them, but one of the 4 would be his wife of 15 years, x husband who had just got out of prison. My brother had raised the x's son and the son was 19 at the time. My brother was concerned that he would knock him in the head with something considering he would have to defend himself in a fight. My brother told me that his wife was on crack, and he talked to my husband about how he could leave her and gain custody of his two girls.
He had a job and wanted to move into their own place, but his wife insisted that they stay with her Mom. Her mom is said to have had an insurance policy on my brother. My sister in law showed up at my brothers funeral with her ex, they kissed near my brother's pine box casket that she would not allow me or my parents to upgrade. My brother wanted to be burried next to another family memeber, they did not honor that wish either. My brother even told my cousin if anything should happen to him in the next few weeks to play "my old friend" at his funeral. He had a feeling that something was going to happen. That morning of the 11th, she had life support cut off on my brother. She told me later that she couldn't have him put on life support. BUT I have connections and I found out he was on life support. She had him cut off around 445 am but couldn't wait until his mom dad and myself made it to the hospital to feel his warm body. HE had a black eye. JUST a 1 in. length and 1/4 in wide on his upper cheek bone. A PUNCH not consistant with what happened. He was 6 4 and about 198 lbs. Good shape. Nice looking. I have them on micro cassette lying at the funeral, but the police wont' listen. They won't investigate. IT cost money to find out about a murder. The death certificate simply says..." multiply inturies" not HOW ...he was supposed to have flown through the air around 20 ft. but landed nicely on his back arms to his side and legs straight. next to the vehicle that had overturned many times over 6. There was an eyewitness. The others in the car were not hurt at all. MY brother was said to have been driving, but he was not because at first another guy said he was driving then changed up..so many so much.. i have more, but no one will listen..money talks..my heart is broken..i saw her today..she didn't want to look at me..i have been threatened to shut up... my email is shoehill@yahoo.com if you would like to help me...Annie Please put in the subject line "Jamie" Thank you so very much. P.S. in response to the subject. Today when I saw my brothers wife I was polite. I was cordial. I cannot stand what she has done. God says we must seperate the sin from the persons soul "the person" very difficult, because I am not God or Jesus. I only talked to her to get information. I DO know..God has a way of taking care of the bad guys. What goes around eventually comes OUT and goes back around. The truth will come out for me and for ALL...

If someone murdered my child, there are no words that could describe how I would feel. Yes, I would want to blow their brains out for starters. But, that would not quench my anger. If I made them suffer every day for the rest of their lives, that would not quench my anger.
What my anger and need for revenge would do is hold me hostage every waking and sleeping moment.
I would be totally consumed by it and in the end, not only my child would have been destroyed but I would have been destroyed as well. Hate is such a very strong motivator in a very negative direction. It becomes part of our psyche and we are transformed into a monster in our minds. Given time, that monster becnes an inseparable part of us that we cannot lay aside. It weaves itself into our psyche and transforms us into something that we would have never wanted to be. We find our reason for living and gratification in hatred and revenge. It's satanic and we are a willing participant, a minion seeking more and more revenge. Fred Goldman is captive of his own insatiable need for revenge. That's the pity; revenge is never, never, never, satisfied. Ron Goldman probably would never have wanted his father to have devolved into this kind of person. It would not surprise me one iota that if OJ Simpson died, Fred Goldman would demand his body be turned over to him. He's just that obsessed, and crazed by this one Black man who allegedly murdered his son. How miserable his life must be with such anger and vengefulness. I wish I could see the day when Fred Goldman would lay aside all his hatred and live the rest of his life in peace, having forgiven OJ Simpson for his son's alleged murder. Until he does, he will never have any peace nor will he ever be able to get forgiveness for himself; and everybody needs forgiveness. That's God's catch 22.

My response to Martha Owens is: Christ Himself said "...and if they
ASK for forgiveness and are truly sorry, THEN ye forgive them." Jesus
didn't ask blanket forgiveness for the many innocents who the powers- that-be of His time killed BEFORE Him, or even would AFTER-wards. Neither
O.J. or Mr. Roberts (the murderer of the Amish children in 2006) ever
asked for God's forgiveness; Roberts committed suicide to try escaping
the consequences of HIS crime, and O.J. went on with HIS version (scaled down as it is) of the "good life" without ever confessing his crime at
all, and even told Esquire Magazine that "if I did it, it would be to prove that I 'loved her'" (if you call that 'love')! I can't buy some-
thing like "last minute" forgiveness, either, because remorse has to
happen over a longer time period.