I used to think I was spectacular at forgiveness. For years, for most of my life actually, I thought forgiveness was a specialty. Then I slowly came to realize something - when I got hurt I didn't forgive, I just said I forgave while burying the hurt. That, as someone once said to me, is "sub optimal."
I think that I'm learning forgiveness now - true, genuine forgiveness.
And I think that sometimes when we are learning or relearning or rerelearning things, God gives us ample opportunity to practice.
So it was yesterday morning at 6:15am, London time, when my hotel phone started ringing. Trying to overcome jet lag, this was decidedly a sub-optimal occurrence. But I picked it up to see if, perchance, something of importance had transpired that required my attention. No, just a buzzing tone.
I set my head back on the pillow and tried to get back to sleep. Then, again, the phone.
Again, nothing.
I called the front desk and sleepily and angrily informed about this and they said, "I'm so sorry, we must have forgotten to take off the wake up call from the last guest."
I slammed down the phone and stewed. Then I thought about that forgiveness thing. And decided to sleep on it.
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Zero, everyone's quoting Rumi these days. I'll have to read him.
David, I understand. We must forgive our neighbors, our enemies and those who would harm us to practice for England.
Those who have ever worked nights - 16 years here - know this thing about forgiving those who wake us when there's nothing left. My mother-in-law would call every day at 11:00 because she was "sure you don't want to sleep the day away". Her perception was that no good mom or housewife would ever sleep in the daytime. She just couldn't get it through her head that I stayed up all night taking care of sick people. Having fallen asleep at 8 am - I grew to dislike this woman intensely over my sleep deprivation. Rumi - you nailed it. "I shall be your eye and your hand and your loving." All I had to do was ask her to help me and the perception changed. That which I had hated became a beloved figure. David - sleep is what gets us through everything. Be careful with it - let it take care of you on this trip. You are already surrounded by prayer - but remember to sleep - that's where a lot of the processing gets done.
Community,
I'm going through the self-study program "A Course In Miracles". I recently went through work-place political trauma and figured anything that could help me forgive would be good for my health.
Actually, I think anger hurts us more (it's too bad that this idea is kind of cliche).
Jesus puts in another perspective from the cross: 'Forgive them for they know not what they do.'
With God's grace, I'll get a handle on this forgiveness thing too.
BTW, I liked the Rumi quote.
Adios
I'm kind of amazed that this article lacks posts. It is heartening to see the posts on the experience of poverty because compassion is love and love is Godliness.
I've found it's a pretty good idea to take forgiveness seriously. Jesus commands it.
A COURSE IN MIRACLES:
ACIM proposes that this life of separation, angst, and alienation is an illusion/dream. If the church fathers believed in an ex nihilo creation, doesn't it make sense that you get nothing from nothing. Love in a non-dualistic sense (much like Trinitarian theology)is the only reality in this world of illusions. The awful stuff is an experience we have for sure according to ACIM, but it's illusory.
The aim of ACIM is to center us on God rather than our illusions, thus making the dream end happily till we're in perfect union/connection with God.
By all means David, if you know of a better metaphysics on forgiveness - please share it. Mine was cursory and can be more explored on the iPod broadcast, 'A Crash Course in Miracles'
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