Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

“I Love Me” Tip: Say Schedule a “ME Day”

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for HowDoILoveMeCover.jpgToday is Day 13 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love.

In my DoorMat Days I rarely had time for me and the activities I enjoyed because I was so fixed on doing what others wanted. “Me time” meant ME doing things for them. I thought it was my choice but it was really my fear motivating me to keep people happy so they’d like me.

These days, “ME time” is encouraged more than ever before. Every time you make a little time to do something just for you is a lovely act of self-love. Try taking ME time to the next level!

Schedule a “ME day”–a whole day that’s ALL about YOU–to say a big loud “I love me!”

When I say schedule, I seriously mean schedule. Go to your calendar and choose a day that will work for you. A whole day! Weekends can be easier but it’s also fun to take a day off from work to play. No chores or errands. Just for things you’d enjoy. Plan your day ahead of time. Think about what you’d like to do. Write it down and forward to it. Don’t tell anyone about your plans, unless it’s someone you trust to be happy for you.

People can feel negative when they hear about a “ME day,” often because they can’t do it for themselves or their self-love is too low to recognize how good it can be.

I love to walk so I enjoy planning to power walk downtown. With thought, I decide what restaurant I’d like to have brunch in with a bunch of magazines I’ve had no time to read or a book. I also plan other activities, like shopping, wandering around fun neighborhoods, hiking, wandering around a street fair, going to a movie or show, or even meeting up with a friend later in the day for coffee.

A “ME day” doesn’t have to be completely solitary! It’s YOUR day and if there’s someone you’d like to see for part of it that works with the rest of your plans, do it!

Always remember that it’s YOUR day to do what you please. I’ve taken a day trip out of the city, gone to a museum, sat in a coffee shop for hours reading and other things that sounded good to me. At times when I’ve been very tired, I’ve rented a pile of videos, picked up some popcorn and other foods I like, and stayed in bed all day watching them, guilt-free! For me!  All day! When I share what I do I get puzzled looks and comments I don’t like, which is why I suggested limiting who you tell.

Make plans with YOU as important as those with other people.

When I schedule a “ME day” and someone asks if I’m free that day, I usually say, “I have plans.” I am busy. I have a date with me and value that because I love me. Scheduling a “ME day” where you do things you enjoy helps you get more comfortable in your own company. When I was a DoorMat, being alone seemed like torture. Now I look forward to it. I began by going to restaurants at times that were less crowded and had mini “ME days” when I couldn’t imagine a whole day solo. They got longer and longer as I began to appreciate eating in a café with my reading material, uninterrupted, and doing everything on the timeline that worked best for me.

Work your way up to “ME days” by planning for just a few hours. As you get more comfortable in your company, do more.

The more I did, the more I enjoyed it, and the more I did and the happier I was. Having a lovely day on my own is a big self-love booster. I do it often now. It took a little time to realize that no one was judging me for being out on my own, except maybe for thinking I was a confident woman who was comfortable in her own company, not some poor lonely woman who has no one to be with. Those kind of people stay home.

Go to your calendar right now, pick a date for you and write ME in red. Think about what you’d enjoy doing and plan for it. You don’t have to do it often but may want to after you try it. It’s a joy to do what YOU want, when YOU want to leave, when YOU want to eat, leaving later than planned and not inconveniencing anyone. “ME days” are a great way to say, “I love me!”

Take the self-love challenge and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. And you can post your loving acts HERE to reinforce your intention to love yourself.

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.



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