Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

I’m a freelancer. No salary or benefits. According to people who see how I live, no security. But, I feel very secure because my spiritual mindset is strong. The Law of Attractions supports my thoughts and brings me whatever I need, because I expect it to come!
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I hear people concerned about money:

* “I’ll get a new car IF I can come up with the money.”
* “IF I don’t get a raise, I’ll have to move.”
* “Daylle, what will you do IF you don’t get enough work this month?”

The common denominator in the above is IF. Because I expect to always have enough for what I need, I wonder where my money will come from, not IF I’ll get it. This makes a profound difference in what I attract. Fear and tentative expectations show a lack of faith. And a lack of faith doesn’t support you in getting what you want!

I’ve been talking about changing habits. Break the habit of thinking in terms of “IF I have the money.” Think with expectation about where it can come from. I’ve had moments where my checking account was on empty. Rent was due in 2 weeks and I had no income. Was I worried? Nope! Did I call around to borrow money? Nope again. I continued to put it out that I expected a source of income. And I always get enough for what I need. ALWAYS!

Since I also help others write their books, a guy offered me a big chunk of money to help him write his a while back. What good luck you might be thinking. It would have been had I accepted the guy’s offer. But I didn’t. I wasn’t interested in his topic and he seemed a bit weird. Since I only do projects I’m interested in, I turned him down, even though I wanted the money. Okay, I needed the money! But instead of agreeing to write the book for lots of money, I said out loud, “Close one door and another two open.” A few days later I got a great project and my checking account got healthier. And then something else materialized.

Worry doesn’t attract money and it can keep it from coming to you the way you’d like it!

A friend who knows me well teases that she doesn’t wonder IF I’ll get my rent. Instead, she loves to see where it will come from. She’s seen over and over that somehow, some way, from somewhere, I always get the money I need at the right time. The next time you express concern about IF you’ll have enough money or IF you can increase what you have by a lot, get rid of the IF and replace it with faith. Write down what you want and why you deserve to get it.

We get back what we put out. So get into better habits of expecting money to flow to you with ease if you want to increase your abundance.

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Carol Ekarius is a freelance writer who lives in the mountains of Colorado with her husband, Ken. They live off the grid, raise animals, and have a large, organic garden. Carol has become an advocate for spreading awarenes about how chemicals are impacting our health. She writes on a variety of topics related to her lifestyle and helping the environment, including her blog, Toxic Burden. I’m delighted to have her as a guest blogger today to share how she makes an effort to avoid toxins in her food.

You Are What You Eat
By Carol Ekarius
If health is like a three-legged stool, with environmental exposures, lifestyle, and genes representing the legs, then food is the seat, overlapping all three legs. So, food seems like an important topic to cover here. Ken and I prioritize the food choices we make in this order:

Our first choice is to grow a fair amount ourselves, organically. Due to where-and-how we live, this isn’t as abundant a portion of our food supply as it once was: when we farmed we grew about 85% of what we consumed! But we still manage to grow several bushels of potatoes and all the garlic we consume (which is saying something since I love cooking with garlic). During the summer the garden supplies us with a wide mixture of goodies and we even grow greens and herbs in the house to help us through the long winter months. Last year we added a banana tree to our indoor plants, and though it won’t produce fruit for at least five years, I’m hopeful it will someday. In the meantime, it’s a cool looking plant! Our own little flock of laying hens supplies most of our eggs.

Our second choice is purchase from local growers. We can buy local grassfed meat from several nearby ranchers. We try to hit farmer’s markets or farm stands when the hitting is good, and give preference to farmers who are seriously employing sustainable practices. With seasonal purchases, we often buy a larger quantity and store it or use it in recipes that can be frozen for later use (think tomato season=spaghetti sauce or salsa). This week, for example, Ken brought home a bushel of Golden Delicious apples from Cañon City.

When we need items that aren’t available by method one or two, our third choice is to shop at the small natural food store in a town about 30 miles away when we go there for errands, or if I am in the city, I hit Whole Foods or Wild Oats on my way home. I stock up on canned goods, some produce during periods when its low or unavailable, dry goods, coffee and tea, and the like.

Once in a while I go to a major grocery store, like City Market or Safeway, but its actually kind of rare. When I do, I still give preference to organic and natural products.

I can just about hear some people saying, ah, you are a yuppie. I can’t afford to eat that way. To which I say, poppy cock! We are not rich. We drive old vehicles, we don’t take expensive trips, and we live very frugally in most ways. But, food is just too important to our health, and our pleasure of life, to eat badly. Everyone can grow some food, even if it’s in pots on a deck or in a window, and the food you grow yourself is wonderful and very economical. Buying directly from area farmers and ranchers is often far less expensive than the grocery store. For example, the bushel of apples cost just $15.00, and will last for a long time.

Buying real food, and doing some food prep, even at Whole-Foods prices, is less expensive than eating out or buying highly processed foods. However to make eating organically and naturally economical does require a return to the kitchen, but food prep doesn’t have to be hard, or take a huge amount of time. I don’t have a large, fancy kitchen with all kinds of gadgets; hell, I don’t even have a dishwasher. Yet I cook dinner from scratch almost every night of the week. I’m big for searching out easy recipes that taste good and don’t take too much time, nor too much cleanup!

So here’s a recipe that I found in the latest issue of The Joy of Cooking cookbook (if you can only afford one cookbook, then Joy is what you want!) that epitomizes my cooking attitude, and was decadently delicious: Baked apples with sausage.

Wash the apples and cut the top half-inch off so the top is flat. Core the apples, then scoop out some additional pulp so the apple is about 1/2 inch thick all the way around. Chop the pulp fine, place in bowl, and mix the pulp well with some sausage. Sprinkle brown sugar or drizzle maple syrup into the apples and over the apples, then stuff with the sausage/pulp mix. Bake 45 to 50 minutes at 350 degrees.

I used five apples and two large links of hot Italian sausage, stripped from the casing. You can use just about any kind of sausage. It was perfect for two of us, beyond delicious, and the prep time was only about 15 minutes. How can you possibly beat that?

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Carol Ekarius’ blog, Toxic Burden, focuses on how chemicals affect our environment and your health.

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon. Thanks!

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You may have heard that Jennifer Love Hewitt was vacationing with her boyfriend and the paparazzi nailed her in a swimsuit. It was all over the news, much like the pics of Tyra Banks in a swimsuit a while back. They took unflattering close-ups of body parts that weren’t perfect. Bloggers had a field day calling Jennifer fat. Yet she’s a size 4! HELLO!

For you guys who question why women are so insecure about their bodies, listen up! There are good reasons why many of us are self-conscious about our imperfections.

If someone who wears a size 4 gets ridiculed for being fat, how does that make the rest of us women feel!!? Pretty lousy to a woman who isn’t secure to begin with. Me, my self-love is too strong now to let it rattle my over size 4 butt. But too many women suffer the residuals of these absurd digs at imperfect, AKA normal bodies! I trust that the karma these folks give out will come back to hit them in their big fat sorry butts.

THE BAD NEWS
Perfection is impossible. Some, and these days many, folks run to plastic surgeons to remake themselves. Women in particular are treating themselves like a car that needs bodywork. Suck out some cellulite; remove excess skin; pick someone’s chin, nose, cheekbones, etc. and order it from the doc; have cosmetic surgery. The numbers of bulimic and anorexic women keeps rising. Redoing who you are makes you forget how to be true to you, and to love who you are—all in the name of “looking good.”

And at what cost? While a majority of surgeries and procedures go well, those that fail have serious repercussions, including making you look much worse, distorted, ill, and even DEATH!

Kanye West’s mother, Donda, God rest her soul, didn’t listen to one surgeon’s warnings about her potential for heart problems during surgery and sadly, his concerns proved true. So she died, for a tummy tuck and breast reduction! Olivia Goldsmith, author of the book, First Wives Club, passed away almost five years ago after complications from anesthesia for a simple chin tuck, considered minor surgery. The surgery itself wasn’t the problem, but anesthesia can be dangerous. Yet she risked having it just to improve her chin!

Chasing that elusive perfect body can make you do things that aren’t in your best interest.

Men ask me what would make a woman so concerned about her looks that she’d risk her health, or life. Watch the media. We look at airbrushed women in magazines and strive to be like them. Even the women who get airbrushed feel insecure about it, knowing their bodies aren’t good enough to be seen the way they are!

FACT: Cellulite is hereditary. Even thin women have it. Starving doesn’t get rid of it. Only airbrushing does. Or the perfect lighting, wardrobe and makeup used on TV sets and in movies.

FACT: Our bodies change as we get older. We can do what we can to offset it with exercise and healthy nutrition. But ya probably won’t look like a nubile 20-year old when you’re 50, 40 or even 30. Get over the need to look perfect or risk your health making unnatural changes.

FACT: Most people who aren’t happy without alterations, don’t stay happy when they get them. You may temporarily smile over the new you. But soon you’ll find other things to bring you down. Cellulite returns. Skin gets stretched to the max after too many facelifts. I see many women with a line-free but typical pulled face look. Their faces have a mutant look to me. It’s obvious and not real.

Body bashing becomes contagious as women accept the phony standards for what they should look like.

We’ve become a society obsessed with having a perfect body. While a woman’s body is much more in the spotlight, men feel the pressure of body image too, in different ways. There are comparisons at the gym; a need to take control of how they look. I had a boyfriend who was a gym rat. While relaxing on a Sunday morning, a week of getting intimate, he asked why someone like me, who teaches how to develop good self-esteem, didn’t work out more to make her body better. He acknowledged that he loved my body, but I should work harder to make it perfect.

I pointed to the door and said if he wasn’t happy with me right now, he should leave and not come back. He stayed, but I knew it wouldn’t last.

He strived for perfection in himself too. To me his body was perfect. Yet he ran to the gym every day. One day he called, sounding very upset. “I have water in my stomach and I’m worried.” As I imagined him having some disease, he went on the explain that after his shower, a little water rested in a fold of his belly skin, which meant he wasn’t flat enough! It didn’t matter that I LOVED his body. Without perfection, he was always down. He said that good self-esteem meant striving for perfection.

Wrong! Good self-esteem means accepting yourself as you are, imperfections and all! I lost 170 pounds when I cut him loose!

THE GOOD NEWS
Body perception can change if you CHOOSE to allow it! When women say no more to unrealistic standards, they won’t have the impact they have now. When women begin to love their bodies, imperfections and cellulite, there will be many more secure and happy women. When the media stops pushing perfection down our throats as what we should look like, we’ll be happier with our typical, less perfect bodies.

Look around you in a gym locker room and see how many perfect bodies you see. Most of us have more flab than shows with clothing on. I do! ?

Several years ago Jamie Lee Curtis pioneered awareness of the unnatural images in magazines when she posed for More magazine in her underwear, with no makeup or airbrushing. She wanted other women to see how she looks without the help of computers. She was still beautiful, but looked more like a real woman than a perfect picture. I applauded her then and continue to see her as an amazing role model.

Nobody makes you insecure. You make yourself that way when you allow what others say to become your TRUTH.

Just because someone says you’re fat, doesn’t mean you are, unless you see yourself as fat because of it. Jamie Lee, Tyra and now Jennifer refuse to accept the media perception. I stood up and applauded Jennifer Love Hewitt’s response to the bloggers and others who made a big fuss over close-ups of her upper thighs and butt. As they slung crap, she flung it right back! No matter what was said, she CHOSE to not accept it. She’s NOT fat, no matter wha
t they say. She’s a woman who knows who she is and accepts herself in her own skin.

Tyra Banks kicked back hard too. This beautiful, shapely modeled was “outed” by cameras with a close-up of her upper thigh. PU-LEASE! Any man who can’t accept the beauty of these women needs a brain transplant!

Aren’t there much more important things to publicize than a bit of cellulite captured at a bad angle by a camera?

Change your body perception and learn to laugh at the messages in the media. I confess. I’m not perfectly thin and never have been. When I was a DoorMat, I always saw myself as fat because many girls were thinner than me. It fueled my insecurity. I excessively pleased everyone to make up for my fat body. Yes, I thought I needed to try harder or no one would want to be around a fat girl. Yet I wasn’t fat. Thinking I was held me back with meeting guys. Now that I LOVE me, I know that my curves are sexy, not fat. And, I meet a lot more guys who openly appreciate my body too.

When my abovementioned ex-boyfriend criticized my bod, I saw it as HIS problem, not mine.

MEN—start accepting that most women have cellulite and that sometimes it’s hard to lose weight no matter what we do. Are you perfect? Women accept so much more, or less, in men than is accepted in us. Appreciate women for who they are, not just what they look like.

WOMEN—show your body love! It’s yours. Walk around naked and get more comfortable with it. Feel your soft lovely curves. Look at paintings by Rubens and see how badly we’ve skewed off course from appreciating a true womanly body. Changing yours with starving, surgery or unhealthy procedures won’t bring true happiness if you don’t love yourself.

Women like Jamie Lee Curtis, Tyra Banks and Jennifer Love Hewitt are truly pioneers for a new women’s movement, one that’s slowly guiding us to be more realistic about what a normal body looks like. Get on board! Focus on being healthy, not thin or perfect.

Instead of fighting fat, fight the stereotypes that make almost every woman’s body unacceptable. Put your energy into loving yourself more and self-acceptance will follow! This former DoorMat can attest to that!

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon. Thanks!

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‘Tis the season to be jolly! Yet many of our military personnel are living in awful conditions on behalf of our country. I talked about the importance of gratitude last month. I’ve experienced the blessings of giving back, many times over. Here’s an opportunity to support the men and women who far from home during the holidays.

It doesn’t matter whether you support the war. The people in our military are following orders to support our country and should be honored and appreciated! To that end, I wanted to let you know about an organization that’s doing great things to make things a bit brighter for those that might not have a happy holiday. YOU can help! There are many organizations sending car packages overseas to people in the military. One that I like is called Operation Gratitude.

Operation Gratitude is a California- based 501 (c) (3) non-profit, all-volunteer organization that sends care packages of snacks, entertainment items and personal letters of appreciation addressed to individually named U.S. Service Members deployed in hostile regions such as Iraq and Afghanistan, and on military ships at sea. Its mission is to lift morale, bring a smile to a service member’s face and express to our troops that they have the appreciation and support of the American people.

Operation Gratitude receives the names of troops from commanders in the field who see the positive impact of care packages on their troops’ morale; the organization sends more than 100,000 care packages every year. For safety and security, all assembling of packages is done at the Army National Guard armory in Van Nuys, California. Beginning in March, 2003, Operation Gratitude will have shipped over 300,000 packages to American troops deployed overseas any day now.

There’s not much time if you want to help for this holiday season. All items and letters must be shipped or delivered for the holidays by December 15 and they do another drive from April 15 to June 15. I know people who did drives in their schools and churches. I led one 2 years ago. It’s very rewarding! The most needed items are:

DVDs * CDs, Batteries (all sizes) * Computer Flash Drives * Beanie Babies * Small Novelty Items * ?Disposable Cameras? * Prepaid Phone Cards * Travel-Size Board Games * Handheld electronic games * Bandana Coolers/Cool-Ties * Mini-Battery-operated Fans * Hand and Foot Warmers? * Commercially wrapped individual packets of Trail Mix * Beef Jerky * Nuts * Energy Bars * Sunflower Seeds * Candy * Ready To Eat Tuna or Chicken Salad kits? * Boxes of Girl Scout Cookies * Small tins of Danish Cookies * Packets of Powdered Cold Beverages * Commercially sealed Lip Balm * roll-on deodorant * toothpaste * toothbrushes * Individual packets of moist towelettes * Travel Size containers of Foot Powder * Screen Printed T-Shirts, Socks?Baseball Style Caps, Knit Hats and Gloves; Neck Gators * Tobacco Products? * ?Used Cell Phones * Video Games and Systems * IPODs * PDAs

If you want to send a care package for our overseas troops, send them to:??
Operation Gratitude/California Army National Guard?
17330 Victory Boulevard ?
Van Nuys, California 91406 ?
ATTN: Charlie Othold: 818.437.6201

They also appreciate any contributions toward the cost of shipping the packages overseas. Mail checks separately from packages so it gets to the right hands. All financial donations will be acknowledged. If you would like to receive an acknowledgment for donated items, include your name and address inside the shipment or send an email to cblashek@aol.com. Acknowledgments will be sent within three months.

For more information about Operation Gratitude and how it works, please visit their site or call 818.909.0039. You will be blessed for sharing!

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon. Thanks!

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