QUESTION
I am bogged down in a financial and personal morass created by extremely poor decisions and excesses in the past. I fear that the whole mess makes it impossible now to absorb and realize the truths that can transform my life. I feel there is just too much damage, and my life will be forever marked by my mistakes.
ANSWER
You are not alone in the sea of troubles facing you, but one must know what to grab onto… and what not, when floating on troubled waters. There is no quick fix to your woes, any more than there’s a way to quickly repair a broken bone. The healing we all need begins, in earnest, with realizing that something is, indeed, “broken” within us. The more clearly we see this need, the sooner we stop injuring ourselves again and again by identifying with highly familiar but wasteful thoughts and feelings. Present problems created by past waste have to be cleaned up… so just understand that while there’s no escaping certain unpleasant things that you’ll have to endure, these trials can have great benefit to you if you agree to their lessons instead of resisting them. Nothing in our lives “sticks” to us — problem people or painful remnants of a squandered past — that isn’t first attracted there. The key is to realize that before our exterior life can change, we must die, inwardly, to these parts of us that are secretly attached to what makes us ache. Persist with your wish to be free. Nothing can stop you from becoming new as long as you grow, daily, increasingly weary of dragging yourself along. I know that doesn’t sound too much like an authentic encouragement, but… I assure you it is the truth… and nothing is brighter, more right than what is true.
posted November 19, 2010 at 1:34 pm
That is beautifully true Guy – 3 catastrophic events in my life last year freed me from the self that was not who I wanted to be. While I still carry financial debt from this my soul and heart are free because I let myself suffer, grief, get mad, get sad, vent and be. Those were so ugly but the patterns of self sabotage that led up to that had to be realized. It was hard to love me fully since all I knew was outside perfection which created my mess. I stared to be thankful for what I had and I started to live present. These were key to finding my Joy and while I had many days of not pleasant emotions purging I had this new found Joy that kept reassuring me that all was in divine order to a new beginning. The hardest part letting go of what I thought others thought. How I did it. I kept sending them love and light. We are our own worst critics and yes it’s very important to own our actions and reactions but not to keep repeatedly paining ourselves. Just keeping truthful. Authenticity arrives after vulnerability not before. The lessons are sometimes big but they always continue so it’s best to learn to be with what it is and the more self love and light you explore the clearer the pathway becomes. Gather people around you who love you and reach out to others often in your truth not your victim mind.
Peace, Love and Light.
posted November 25, 2010 at 3:04 am
If I could only put into words the greater understanding i now have of myself and my actions it could only have come from the Lord himself and wow what an impact it’s made on me. Thank you so very much.