Mark D. Roberts

Mark D. Roberts

How to Think About Christian Leaders? Part 2

posted by Mark D. Roberts | 1:01am Wednesday August 25, 2010

In yesterday’s post, I examined 1 Corinthians 3:5-9, considering its implications for how we think about church leaders. I closed by admitting that sometimes it is not easy for a pastor or other leader to seek God’s glory, especially when we are in the midst of conflict. I know from personal experience how difficult this can be.

About fifteen years ago I was in the midst of one the hardest times in my ministry at Irvine Presbyterian Church. I had a staff member I’ll call Shirley with whom I was having many conflicts. From my point of view, she was not fulfilling her job description in many, many ways. From her point of view, I was being imperious and unsupportive. Though I tried everything I could think of to make things work out, they were going south faster than a goose in November. (Photo: The Fellowship Hall of Irvine Presbyterian Church, where we worshiped before we built our sanctuary.)

IPC-1990-5.jpgDuring this time, Shirley began to lobby the troops on her side. She complained about how I was mistreating her. She would visit shut-ins and tell them I was getting ready to fire her (which wasn’t true). She was clearly trying to divide the church and was doing a fine job of it. I must confess that I was sorely tempted to join the game and beat her at it. I wanted to get people on my side. I wanted people to know the truth and defend me. The church started to become all about me, . . . me, me, me. We were going the way of the splintered Corinthian church.

Everything came to a head at a meeting of our congregation. This was by far the toughest meeting I’d ever been a part of. The elders of the church were recommending that we dismiss Shirley from our staff. In the congregational debate, many people chewed me out for what they perceived to be my management flaws. These were people who believed they knew the truth because they had heard it from Shirley. The temptation to divide and conquer the church was huge for me. But, by God’s grace and following the counsel of my fellow leaders, I didn’t do it. I took my licks, even ones I didn’t deserve. I owned my failures and tried to listen to what people were saying to me. Frankly, it was excruciating. But I sensed that my job as pastor was to help the church be unified in Christ, not divided in order to defend me. Many of my supporters sensed the same. Though they could have risen to my defense, they realized that it was not the time to do so. Wisely, they remained quiet, and so avoided a fight that could have deeply wounded our church.

The congregation did, in the end, vote to dismiss Shirley. I left feeling, not vindicated, but ashamed and exhausted. Several friends gathered around to encourage me. But I still felt as if I had been taken to the congregational woodshed for a beating.

In the aftermath of that meeting, only a couple of people left our church, much to my surprise. In time, many of those who had scolded me actually came to apologize. One man said, “It was only later that I learned some of what had really happened with Shirley. I’m sorry for the things I said to you.”

But the greatest result of that whole debacle was not that I was somehow more highly regarded or more beloved or whatever. It was that our people ended up, truly, more united in Christ. I can’t explain how this happened, exactly, except that it was a work of grace. But I do know that my effort, and the efforts of those who supported me, to focus on Christ and not on me helped move us toward such a positive result. Nevertheless, I still look back on this whole experience, and the congregational meeting in particular, as one of the hardest times of my ministry. It required that I subordinate myself to a degree I had never done before. It required that I trust in God rather than my abilities to persuade and organize.

If you’re caught in a church conflict, watch out for the role of leaders in that conflict. If battle lines and being drawn up around certain personalities, don’t participate. And if you’re a pastor, I’d urge you to remember – as hard as it may be – that you are merely a servant of the Master. Devote yourself to seeking what’s best for whole church. Seek to unify rather than divide. Don’t let your people choose up sides, even if this game seems to be to your favor. Rather, do all you can do to further the peace and unity of Christ’s church. Let the focus be upon him, with yourself as his servant.



Previous Posts

Why Did Jesus Have to Die? Conclusions
In this series on the death of Jesus, I have presented four different perspectives on why Jesus had to die: Roman, Jewish, Jesus’, and Early Christian. I believe that each of these points of view has merit, and that we cannot fully understand the necessity of Jesus’ death without taking them all

posted 2:47:39am Apr. 11, 2011 | read full post »

Sunday Inspiration from the High Calling
Can We Find God in the City? Psalm 48:1-14 Go, inspect the city of Jerusalem. Walk around and count the many towers. Take note of the fortified walls, and tour all the citadels, that you may describe them to future generations. For that is what God is like. He is our God forever and ever,

posted 2:05:51am Apr. 10, 2011 | read full post »

Why Did Jesus Have to Die? The Perspective of the First Christians, Part 3
An Act and Symbol of Love Perhaps one of the most startling of the early Christian interpretations of the cross was that it was all about love. It’s easy in our day, when crosses are religious symbols, attractive ornaments, and trendy jewelry to associate the cross with love. But, in the first

posted 2:41:47am Apr. 08, 2011 | read full post »

Why Did Jesus Have to Die? The Perspective of the First Christians, Part 2
The Means of Reconciliation In my last post, I examined one of the very earliest Christian statements of the purpose of Jesus’ death. According to the tradition encapsulated in 1 Corinthians 15, Jesus died “for our sins in accordance with the scriptures” (15:3). Yet this text doesn’t expl

posted 2:30:03am Apr. 07, 2011 | read full post »

Why Did Jesus Have to Die? The Perspective of the First Christians, Part 1
The Earliest Christian Reflection We have relatively little direct information about what the very first believers in Jesus thought about his death and its meaning. Acts of the Apostles gives us a small window into this period of time, but not much more. The earliest of the New Testament writings

posted 2:43:41am Apr. 06, 2011 | read full post »

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Comments read comments(8)
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Richard H

posted August 25, 2010 at 10:02 am


We’ve been having a conflict with a family in the church since January. They think we have done them a great wrong, and, as with “Shirley,” they have felt free to go around trying to get people on their side. While it’s been painful for us – especially for my wife, who has borne the brunt of the attacks – it’s also just plain sad. These folks had so much promise and here they are digging their own pit deeper and deeper, hurting themselves more than anyone else. I’m praying for them every day.



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Dale

posted August 25, 2010 at 10:03 am


I will never forget the time we kicked a musician out of our worship band for reasons that I could not share with the congregation. I had to hope they would trust me. Many did not and chewed me out. It was only a year or two later that people apologized to me. Ah, the fun of leadership.



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Bob

posted August 25, 2010 at 10:35 am


You always handled your job as Pastor in the most admirable way. Even during this time, you were amazingly professional, kind and wise. I would hope many who are going through this very same kind of situation read this and take heart.



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Lori G

posted August 25, 2010 at 2:39 pm


(please forgive the language) If it weren’t for Christ and eternity, your job would totally suck. If it weren’t for pastors like yourself, setting a consistent example of disarmament, we would also suck (more than we do already) as a church. Thanks Mark.



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Tom Coddington

posted August 25, 2010 at 7:05 pm


Mark,
Have you read the book: Countering the Claims of Evangelical Feminism?
It´s by Wayne Grudem. Fascinating study of the roles of men and women in the church. I´d very much like your take on this book.
Thank you,
Tom



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Pat

posted August 25, 2010 at 8:10 pm


I just want to say thank you. These posts have ministered to me as I try to find my way in the midst of church conflict and deal with what feels like the constant laying down that I have to do.



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Lolly

posted August 26, 2010 at 12:31 am


Your sharing of the conflict you experienced as pastor really touched me because of the things that happened in our church this year.
Conflict in a church is so painful. We’ve just gone through a conflict that divided our church, resulting in our senior pastor “retiring” to try to bring peace back to our church. I knew about the things that were happening, but didn’t get into the discussions. I thought it would pass. But it didn’t go away, so the pastor resigned, hoping that would help. Then members of the congregation who didn’t even know about the battle going on in our church were blindsided and distraught that this pastor had been forced out by this conflict that didn’t even affect or concern them. A new pastor is now trying to bring “unity in diversity” back into the church, but it’s difficult because there are so many hurt feelings. Healing takes time…. and staying focused on God. It helps a little to know that this has been happening since the beginning of the Church and God’s Church has survived in spite of people who try to bring their own agenda into the church.



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Brad

posted August 30, 2010 at 4:15 pm


Thank you for your wise words amd humble spirit… I am in the midst of a church conflict that shows both sides being selfish and prideful. There has been debt collecting by both sides and some times it is so hard to try and seek reconciliation when there is saboutage going on by leaders and the congregation..Praise the Lord for your articles! Practical words but more importantly the answers you are sharing come from God’s Holy Word..God Bless you!



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