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A show of hands, everyone. If you think it's a good idea to begin a movie for children by killing off a young boy in an industrial accident as his father looks on, raise your hand. Anyone?

I didn't think so. And yet, that is how Astro Boy comes to be in this updated version of the Japanese animated series that achieved popularity in the U.S. as a television series in various versions over the years and more recently as a computer game. The title character (voice by an Americanized Freddie Highmore) is a robot re-boot created by brilliant scientist Dr. Tenma (voice of Nicolas Cage) to replace his son Toby, who was killed at Dr. Tenma's lab when he tried to get in to see an experiment. Devastated by the loss, the scientist creates a super-robot programmed with the memory and mind of his dead child. And then he rejects the robot as an inadequate substitute. Even if the rest of the movie were "The Care Bears Meet My Little Pony," the loss and grief of the first 20 minutes are so totally dissonant that the film cannot recover.

It's like "Pinocchio" crossed with "Blade Runner" as Astro Boy goes through an existential crisis in discovering that he may have Toby's memories and emotions, but he also has hands and butt cheeks that turn into artillery. He ends up being treated as a human by robots and a robot by the humans he meets, abandoned children living on the planet that everyone else has left because it is deemed no longer habitable (and yet somehow they are able to order pizza). In the midst of all of the shoot-outs there are some moments that have charm and some images that show some wit, especially an enormous junked robot that Astro brings back to life with a charge from his blue power source (unfortunately carrying the initials of an anti-Semitic conspiracy theory). But then the President (voice of Donald Sutherland) wants to use Astro's technology for evil, and everything comes down to shooting. Any nuance or imagination or point is lost in the battle, and so is any reason to see this film.

Oh, dear. #TransformerFail

I truly loved the first Transformers movie. It was everything you need in a big summer explosion movie, with stupendous special effects, shot through with heart-thumping adrenaline, with just enough character and storyline to allow us to catch our breath and keep us interested. Our hero, high school senior Sam (Shia LeBeouf), is befriended by a car that turns into a friendly robot called Bumblebee, one of a cadre of good-guy transforming robots who fight against the bad-guy robots, called Decepticons. He is aided by a beautiful girl who is very good with cars (Megan Fox) and an armed services division led by Captain Lennox (Josh Duhamel).

This sequel has some great special effects, but the story and the characters are poorly handled and the pacing is a mess. When the robots give a better performance than the humans, we have a problem. When the action is so complicated we can't figure out who is where and in some cases why they are there, we have a bigger problem. When the characters are so irritating we begin to consider rooting for the bad guys, well, you know what kind of a problem we have. And when the racial humor gets so completely out of hand that it becomes uncomfortable at best and genuinely disturbing at worst, it's a serious problem.

LeBoeuf is always appealing, Fox looks good stretching over machinery, and the movie briefly takes an interesting turn when both human and transformer characters show that they can learn from their mistakes and switch over to the side of the good guys. A stop at the Smithsonian's Air and Space Museum leads to Jetfire, an engaging junkpile of an autobot.

But it is too loud and it all goes on much too long. The bloated running time is well over two hours, overstuffed with pointless and increasingly annoying attempts at comedy -- Sam's mother accidentally gets high and talks about his sex life, Sam's father doesn't get high but talks about his sex life, good guy robots talk like the end men on a minstrel show, and Sam's college roommate is a loudmouth who wants to get with some ladies and shrieks like a little girl when he is scared, which happens a lot. There's another series of confrontations between a clueless bureaucrat and our know-better heroes. But the last movie's clueless bureaucrat somehow switches sides. I would complain that this is not adequately explained, but I don't really care. By this point, I began to think the Decepticons might have a point about how they could do better with our planet than we could.

"Land of the Lost" features two funny actors and a criminally underused actress tramping around an alternate reality in search of comedy but not finding much for us to laugh at.

Too raunchy for kids, too dull for anyone else, this over-budgeted and under-scripted film wastes everyone's time, especially the audience's. The original television series about a forest ranger and his two teenage children in a time warp land with dinosaurs and lizard people called Sleestaks was best known for effects that could hardly be called "special," even for the 1970's. But it had innocence and charm, while the remake has neither. It is so carelessly written that when the humanoids don't understand English but the dinosaurs do it feels more like laziness than an attempt to be funny. It is too busy coming up with a reason for Ferrell to douse himself with dino pee to try to, for example, give the female character any -- what's the word? -- character.

Will Ferrell plays Dr. Rick Marshall, a discredited scientist whose theories about the particles that control space and time are not taken seriously by anyone. Then Holly (Anna Friel), a young scientist from England, tells him that she has some proof that his theories are right. Led by Will (Danny McBride) a guy who sells fireworks and lives in a trailer, they go into a cave and find themselves catapulted into an alternate universe where they are chased by dinosaurs and befriended by a missing link ape-boy named Chaka (Jorma Taccone). Ferrell's job in the movie (big surprise) is to vibrate between neediness, panic, and arrogance and run around in his underwear. Friel's job is to know the answer to everything (she even speaks Chaka's language), allow herself to be (literally) pawed, look very fetching in tiny little shorts, and gaze adoringly at Ferrell. The best moments in the film come from the always-hilarious Danny McBride ("Pineapple Express," "Tropic Thunder"), the songs of "A Chorus Line," and, surprisingly, from Matt Lauer, playing himself.

Think of it this way. Hannah Montana is to Miley Stewart what Superman is to Clark Kent. Audiences of all ages but especially children and teenagers are always taken by stories of secret identities and hidden sources of power and mastery. It is a way of organizing their thoughts about themselves as unsure but constantly developing citizens of a world run by adults who have a power and ability that they look forward to. It is also a world they can feel themselves getting closer to, so it gives them a way to calibrate and understand their own changes and their progress. And it gives them a chance to think about the kind of adults they want to be. So when Miley Stewart (played by Miley Cyrus) said she wanted the "best of both worlds," to be a singer and a "normal kid," the way to do it was to create a separate identity. With the wig and sparkles she is Hannah Montana, superstar. Without it, she is just plain Miley, who knows that her friends like her for who she is and not because she is famous. And many of the television show's episodes focus on the challenges of keeping these worlds separate.

But as this movie begins, it is not just the logistics that are colliding. Miley Stuart is becoming a bit of a diva. After an hilarious brawl with uber-diva Tyra Banks over a pair of expensive shoes, Miley's father (real-life dad Billy Ray Cyrus of "Achy Breaky Heart" and mullet fame) decides it is time for Miley and Hannah to have a reality check. He takes her to their home in Tennessee and tells her that after two weeks he will let her know whether it is time for Hannah to retire.

Miley is not yet an actress. She is so relentlessly sunny that she can't quite manage the brief scenes where she is supposed to be pensive or unhappy. But she has an immediately engaging presence on screen and is so clearly enjoying herself that it impossible not to enjoy her, too. The script wisely plays to her strengths, giving her lots of chances to sing both as Miley and as Hannah and lots of chances to show off her high spirits and gift for physical comedy. She is ably supported by Emily Osment as her best friend, Margo Martindale as her warm but shrewd grandmother, and Lucas Till as a handsome young cowpoke. Taylor Swift and Rascal Flatts show up for some musical numbers. Cyrus has a sweet duet with her dad and a cute hoedown dance. The story may not have many surprises, but it will help kids think a little bit about growing up and dream a little bit about all the possibilities before them. Best of all, the movie will satisfy Cyrus fans and give their families a sense of why they love her so much.

I am very pleased to see this delightful DVD re-issued. I love the way it encourages kids to read by bringing them inside the stories. Meet Jack and the Giant, the Three Little Pigs, Little Red Ridinghood, and the Princess and the Pea, have fun, and get excited about the power of literacy skills. The first person to send me an email with "Super Why" in the subject line will win a DVD!

Audiences should be set to stun with this splendid reboot of the 40-plus year old "Star Trek" series. By boldly going where many, many have gone before, J.J. Abrams of television's "Lost" and "Alias" has managed to make a thoroughly...

In an exclusive interview for the new Star Trek 1-6 movie box set, Whoopi Goldberg interviews the captains of the USS Enterprise, to boldly go where no interview has gone before....

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Families will love the 25th(!) anniversary edition of Sesame Street's first feature film, 1985's "Follow That Bird," featuring all of the show's favorite characters and an array of guest stars but focusing more on gentle humor and lessons of tolerance...

Children and their families are lining up across the country to see "Dora Live," an interactive adventure that leads Dora the Explorer, her cousin Diego, Boots the monkey, and all their friends on a fun-filled journey in "Search for...

Sometimes "nice" can be very high praise, and that is the way I mean it when I say that the utterly snark-free "High School Musical 3: Senior Year" is as nice as it gets. With a gossamer-weight plot line that...

This adorable film was made on the Bryan O'Connell family's visit to Universal Studios and posted on YouTube: And be sure to check out the new trailer for the J.J. Abrams 2009 "Star Trek" movie....

It begins with a zippy credit sequence that dispatches with the backstory Ang Lee's lumbering 2003 version took more than an hour to slog through. And we're off! Who cares what kind of gamma rays turned Bruce Banner into the...

Andy and Larry Wachowski, the folks behind the Matrix trilogy, have taken the iconic but decidedly low-tech 1960's Japanese cartoon character and put the pedal to the metal with dazzling effects and electrifying action. Do what Speed Racer does --...

I want to believe, too, but this movie did not make it happen. Six years after the record-breaking television series ended its run, this attempt to carry the franchise forward is unlikely to make any new fans or entirely satisfy...

The big-screen version of the classic 1960's television show created by Mel Brooks and Buck Henry is more than an update. It shrewdly tweaks the original, making its hero, Maxwell Smart (Steve Carell) smarter and more capable than the bumbling...

The New York Times has a great feature on adapting the 1960's television show "Get Smart" for the big screen, staying true to the spirit of the original and with in-jokes for the fans but updating it and making it...