By Daniel Burke
Religion News Service
Religious sects across the globe wage wars of endless retribution. Revenge fantasies fill American movie theaters. Legal courts are crammed with people seeking settled scores.
So last October, when the Amish community of Lancaster County, Pa., immediately offered forgiveness to the family of Charles Roberts, the gunman who murdered five Amish schoolgirls and shot five more, a stunned world had some questions.
What compelled the Amish to forgive the murderer so swiftly? Was it really that easy for them? Were the Amish living up to Christian ideals, or skating dangerously close to naivete?
A new book by three scholars of Amish life, “Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy,” examines these questions in detail.
Drawing on interviews with Amish men and women in Lancaster, as well as explorations of Amish theology and modern psychology, authors Donald Kraybill, Steven M. Nolt and David Weaver-Zercher explain how the Amish practice forgiveness and why it’s so central to their lives.
Some things about the Amish are obvious to outsiders — the horse and buggies, the beards and bonnets. But this reserved community, rooted in Europe’s Radical Reformation, tends to practice its faith in private.
That all changed when the media glare shone on Nickel Mines, a Lancaster County village.
Cameras caught the Amish community in various stages of grief. But as “Amish Grace” reports, they also might have found the Amish putting their faith into action.
Parents of several of the murdered girls invited the killer’s family to attend their daughters’ funerals. More than half of the 75 mourners at the murderer’s own funeral were Amish. Amish neighbors visited Roberts’ widow, bringing flowers and meals to her home, and donating money to help the family get along. They visited the Roberts home again to to sing Christmas carols.
“I am overcome with sadness that Roberts’ life ended without the opportunity for repentance,” says the mother of one of the slain girls in the new book.
The authors found that the Amish community’s forgiveness of Roberts was not an isolated incident. Such acts of grace permeate more than three centuries of Amish history.
“When forgiveness arrived at the killer’s home within hours of his crime, it did not appear out of nowhere,” the authors write.
“Forgiveness is woven into the very fabric of Amish life, its sturdy threads having been spun from faith in God, scriptural mandates and a history of persecution.”
The Amish formula of forgiveness, however, flips mainstream ideas upside down, according to the authors.
Many psychologists and religious counselors say that forgiveness comes at the end of an emotional journey, when someone finally finds it’s the best way to ease the pain, Kraybill explained in an interview.
The Amish, in contrast, start with the decision to forgive and then work on the emotional process afterwards, he said.
“In their culture there is a predisposition toward forgiveness.
They’ve already made the decision — before anything happens to them — that they’re going to forgive.”
That predisposition is set by a sense of religious duty.
Contrary to mainstream Christian theology, which asserts that Christians should forgive others because God has forgiven sinners, the Amish believe that people receive forgiveness from God only if they forgive others.
The Amish take their cues for this idea of forgiveness from the parable of the unforgiving servant and the Lord’s Prayer.
The parable, from the Gospel of Matthew, describes a servant, who, after the king forgives his debt, persecutes a fellow servant who owes him money. Amish ministers read and preach this parable before spring and fall Communion services each year, according to the authors.
Last year, Amish children in households around Nickel Mines and Amish families attending church would have heard the parable, along with sermons on forgiveness, on Oct. 1, the day before the shooting, according to “Amish Grace.”
Moreover, the Lord’s Prayer, with its injunction to “forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors,” is the first thing many Amish children learn. As adults, Amish men and women hear the prayer in their minds or ears as many as eight times a day.
Jesus follows the prayer in Matthew’s Gospel with another encouragement to forgive.
“Forgiveness is the only thing that Jesus underscores in the Lord’s Prayer,” an Amish elder explains in “Amish Grace.” “So you see, it’s really central to the Lord’s prayer. It’s really intense.”
That doesn’t mean, though, that the Amish forget or pardon someone’s trangressions, or that forgiveness comes easy to them.
Had Roberts not killed himself, it is highly unlikely the Amish would have asked a judge to pardon him, said one Amish man from Lancaster, who asked not to be identified in keeping with Amish custom.
They have might asked that he be spared a death sentence, he said.
At the same time, many Amish are still working through feelings of anger and grief.
“We have a battle with forgiveness,” says an Amish farmer in the book. “It’s hard to forgive, but we can’t be forgiven if we don’t forgive, so we really try hard to overcome that.”
Their humble theology discourages the Amish from questioning God.
They may not understand God’s will, but they don’t doubt divine wisdom.
And they trust that grace is a two-way street to glory.
“In Amish life, offering forgiveness placed one on the side of the martyrs, indeed on the side of God,” the authors write. “It is the spiritually courageous thing to do.”
Copyright 2007 Religion News Service. All rights reserved. No part of this transmission may be distributed or reproduced without written permission.



posted September 25, 2007 at 8:30 pm
I imagine it can be very healing to forgive rather than worry how to get even. Of course you can only forgive the same person or whatever so many times before they realize they can take advantage of you. And while some people might be converted to niceness by all that forgiving, there are also talk show hosts in the world, and Dick Cheneys and George Bushes.
posted September 25, 2007 at 9:13 pm
Forgiveness, turn the other cheek, love your enemies. THIS, in my view, is the crux of the Jesus ethic. 70×7 times forgiveness is a must in this world. As is loving our enemies, praying for our persecutors, etc. This is what will save the world. Thanks go to the Amish for their heroic and herculean example of living the Jesus ethic.
posted September 25, 2007 at 11:35 pm
nnmns
I am convinced that true forgiveness is not in any way “nice”. It is hard, painful, and often life-changing. Anything less is in fact “nice”. The thing is, the etymological derivation (proof I have passed the SAT – long ago) of the word “nice” is “silly”. So when you wish someone a Nice Day – you are in actuality wishing they would have a silly day (sometimes the very best thing). Nice forgiveness is silly -as in without sense or purpose.
I do not think the Amish have tried to be nice – they have struggled and lived through their pain, not by-passed it or medicated themselves to escape it. I do not think the world is ready to forgive Bush & Cheney. But I am more than willing to make nice – have you noticed it is a FULL MOON tonight?
posted September 26, 2007 at 1:14 pm
I appreciate the example of the Amish choosing forgiveness before the offense. To me, that is the only thing that makes sense. My forgiveness of another person is not based on that person’s repentence, or the heinousness of the offense. It’s based on the idea that we, all of us, have the same Source alive in us, and that we are all one, on some level. On that level, we are all innocent and forgiven.
What happens to us? We buckle under layers and layers of human experience and some of us get very ill and we make choices that hurt ourselves and others.
My vengeance or hatred or unforgiveness is just another form of that illness. Choosing forgiveness ahead of time is like getting vaccinated – you may still get the illness, but you are much more likely to be able to fight it off and be healthy in the end.
posted September 26, 2007 at 2:13 pm
Forgiveness is wonderful. How impressive to have transcended negative feelings and have the ability to offer forgiveness. However, I have a great aunt who is/was Amish. She married a non Amish, my great uncle, and has not been allowed contact with her own people for over 60 years now. Where is the forgiveness for their own children when they choose a different life for themselves? That would be nice. The isolation is terrible for these so-called outcasts.
posted September 26, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Celeste,
Yep; that sure is a paradox, isn’t it?
I’ve read many stories of “shunning” in these pages over the years. Not being Amish, I have no idea how they reconcile that practice with their practice of forgiveness.
Could it be something like the way the Catholic church allows its priests to be married, welcoming their wives and children only if they were Episcopal priests first, while not allowing their “own” (Catholic-ordained priests) to marry without being thrown out?
In other words, if you are not Amish, we will lavish you with forgiveness and care so that we may attract you to repentence and salvation. But, if you were already Amish and you break the rules, you’re out?
posted September 26, 2007 at 8:05 pm
Celeste, it does seem unseemly to forgive a murderer, but not your own child because she married a non-Amish man. Years ago in the 20′s one of my aunts was in love with a Catholic man, she was a Lutheran. Her oldest sister, and his mother broke up their romance, because of religion. Although the two sisters eventually talked again I don’t think their relationship was ever the same. Religion has hurt many people and changed lives down through the ages. Mixed religions are accepted now, except probably not by the Amish, but even in the 50′s my in-laws were critical of my being a Lutheran and they United Christian Bretheran. People throw their gay children out of the house, and these are Christian, and other religions. False piety, being laughed at, and talked about by their religious friends when the children go against their beliefs is some of why I think this cruelty exists.
posted September 27, 2007 at 2:19 pm
O sure, bring up soething uncomfortable. I guess it is easier to forgive someone who dies than it is to forgive someone who is still alive and an affront to your faith. Shunning is a powerful and devastating action that shows no mercy or forgiveness. I guess this means the Amish escape irony and inconsistency no more than any other religious group.
posted September 29, 2007 at 10:12 pm
It was most forgiving of the Amish families to take care of and help Robert’s family. The family had nothing to do with Robert’s decision to kill all those innocent children. They were grieving also. Under the same circumstances could I be forgiving? Probably not…at least not for a very long time.
I too find it a contradiction to the forgiving when a man or woman is shunned for not marrying an Amish person. If a murderer can be forgiven, why not accept a child’s decision to marry outside the faith? Makes no sense to me.