I have 4 kids- all teenager who are doing well in school, have nice friends, have a plan for the future, etc. I can say without doubt that spanking did not help. Almost always I was “losing it” and it would have been better with calm down and come up with a better punishment. I had a inservice for my job about domestic violence and it was mention how often the abuser would blame the victim for making him do it to her. I realized that I would use that same statement as I spanked. Of course kids need firm & loving parents, but spanking is rarely the answer.

Sadly saying a little spanking is OK is like telling an addict that a little dope is OK. Many people do not understand the limits. More people are screwed up because they were physically abused than those who were not spanked, hit, or abused in any way. Good parenting does not involve pain – that is easy enough to come by in the rest of life. We ought to be modeling good and positive behavior in the hopes that they start to do the same. So check me off in the “No” list.
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I’m going with the Bible.

interpreter, is that the same Bible that says that an unruly child should be stoned to death? Then yes, let’s go with that. Whew, I’m so glad that God’s morals never change…

When it comes to discipline I look at the kids of today with a large majority having no discipline at all and a genuine disrespect for not only their peeps but their elders too. I as a orphan and foster kid was often beat unmercifully and abused in other ways also, it scared me for some time but at the same time I did see proper discipline with spankings mold respectful honorable young people into successful, honorable, beyond reproach adults. Discipline can save lives I think it should be well thought out and never done in anger (although the latter is often difficult). Some kids may never have to be disciplined and others only a few times in their lifetime but in all I think their is no one size fits all when it comes to parents and children outside of the fact love is always the answer.

Spirit of the law or letter of the law?: The vast majority of professionals agree that child buttock-battering isn’t healthy. A marginal few (mostly religious fundamentalists as those at Calvin) think that child bottom-slapping is good. They use the same selective literalist interpretation of the Bible as was used to justify “witch”-burning, depraved torture methods for those accused of sin and heresy, slavery, racism, wife-beating, oppression of women and a host of other social ills.

People used to think it was necessary to “spank” adult members of the community, military trainees, and prisoners. In some countries they still do. In our country, it is considered sexual assault if a person over the age of 18 is “spanked”, but only if over the age of 18.
For one thing, buttock-battering can vibrate the pudendal nerve, which can lead to sexual arousal. There are multitudinous other physiological ways in which it can be sexually abusive, but I won’t list them all here. One can use the resources I’ve posted if they want to learn more.
Child bottom-battering/slapping vs. DISCIPLINE:
Child bottom-battering (euphemistically labeled “spanking”,”swatting”,”switching”,”smacking”, “paddling”,or other cute-sounding names) for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
I think the reason why television shows like “Supernanny” and “Dr. Phil” are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.
There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping isn’t a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:
Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak,
The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson,
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.
Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research with the recommended reads-visit http://www.nospank.net.
Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping isn’t a good idea:
American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
American Psychological Association,
Center For Effective Discipline,
Churches’ Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus’ Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.
In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.

I think you are right Ck. I’m sorry you were thrown around as a child. I remember being spanked over my Mom’s knee twice when I was four or five. Don’t remember what is was about, but all she had to do was say stop after that, and I did. One of ours had a few on her bottom, too, the point was made. Generations in this country and in European countries did the bottom thing and we managed to advance our civilization to today. Not everyone can control their temper and with children, not even with their mothers during the day, it is almost imperative to not allow physical punishment in the times we live in. Physical punishment can be abuse, but so can unkind words, and ridiculous rules for children. My father remarried when I was 14, (Mom died when I was 10) she was from Norway, never married, wouldn’t speak english, (on purpose) and didn’t like my older brother or me. A couple of mo after their wedding, she came to me after a girlfriend left our home and said I’d have to ask if I could have any one over, and if they came we’d have to stay in my room, because that is all that belonged to me now. I didn’t say anything, couldn’t think of anything to say. I asked my Aunts and they said do what you please it’s your home too. So I did, and the bully never said another thing to me. My Dad also asked me not to visit him in his wood workshop in the basement because she was jealous of me and our time together! I know now that was abuse as well.

Thanks H, you are absolutely right and I am glad you had courage and good counsel in your situation.

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