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Ten Tips for Burgeoning Buddhists and an Open Letter to Kate Moss

posted by Julia May Jonas | 4:33pm Thursday May 28, 2009

 

kate moss.jpg

 

Hi Kate Moss!

I hear you’re converting to Buddhism!  I’m not sure what “converting” means, but that’s cool.  Welcome.  I think your designs for Topshop are nice.  Maybe you could get Johnny Depp to come to some dharma classes?  Oh you guys are divorced.  Sorry. Whew! I’m out of the whole celebrity-coupledom loop.  I heard you bought a nice statue of Siddhartha.  Je suis jalouse!  (That’s French for I’m jealous – you probably already knew that. I’ve got a Buddha but it’s one of those fake fat little Chinatown Buddha’s.  I hear yours is 4 feet 2 inches tall! Sweet.)  Anyway, word has it you’re getting into Buddhism in order to de-stress.  Friends have told you that you’re over-partying, ruining your looks etc.  First of all – you look great.  But also, I understand – nothing makes me drink one too many like stress.  Seriously, the less I worry, the less I need to party.  And the less I party – the less I worry.  Don’t get me wrong I still party.  And worry.  But really, much less.  And I volunteer, which I never did before.  So.

Kate Moss, I think this could be a good fit.  And to welcome you into the fold, I thought I’d share some tips that might help with your first six months of study.  Now I am no Buddhist teacher (far from it), but I have an advantage of having started meditating and studying Buddhism recently and therefore I remember fairly clearly what did and didn’t work.  So without further adieu, I present to you, and the rest of the burgeoning dharmic community, my completely unauthorized, subjective and possibly inacurrate top ten recommendations for those beginning Buddhist months:

1. Make sitting to meditate your number one priority.  Above everything else.  While I was starting out, I said to myself, “Self.  You have one thing to do today and that is to meditate.  If you succeed at sitting and watching your breath for ten minutes or more, you have succeeded for the day.”  It helped.

2. No neurosis about meditating.  If you’re following the breath, trust that you’re doing it right.  Once you do longer sittings you’ll have revelations about your mental state and how you’re cheating the process – but now is the time for you to get comfy.
 
3. Listen to podcasts.  There is an endless and inexhaustible supply of free podcasts on the internet.  You can get acquainted with different schools of Buddhism and hear talks by the most famous and revered Buddhist teachers in the world.  Search Itunes or Google.  I like Zencast, Buddhist Geeks and, of course, the ID Project podcasts.

4. Once you’ve got your courage up (it took me forever), attend a dharma gathering.  Meditating around other people is powerful and focusing. Seeing the variety of folks interested in Buddhism is inspiring.  And of course it’s a different experience hearing a talk in person.  That said …

5. While attending a dharma gathering – don’t take notes.  This may be controversial – but I say especially if you are starting out – just listen.  The need to be present trumps need to accumulate information.  Similarly –

6. Don’t worry about names or terms!  Pema, Trungpa, Nagarjuna, Dzingar, Kense, Richi, Theravada, bodhisattva, Mahayana – let it go.  It’s a long life, and if you stay with Buddhism, eventually you will hear these names so many times you will say them in your sleep and wonder why you can’t talk right to anyone.  One more point about gatherings:

7. People at dharma gatherings are annoying.  They talk too long, make dumb jokes and they all have obvious personal agendas.  This never changes and is an important part of practice and learning to let go. 

8. Read dharma books.  There are millions.  One at a time and take it slow – but check in with a book for a few pages a day.

9. Do less.  In general.  The greatest hindrance to my practice is invariably the amount of actual physical time I have.  Not mental spaciousness, physical time.  Take out the cramming and the multi-tasking.
 
10. Enjoy!  The first few months of Buddhism are like falling in love.  But, just as the honeymoon period ends with every relationship, so does the mindfulness high.  Appreciate it, respect it and don’t be surprised when it changes.

Kate Moss, I hope you stay on the path – it is challenging yet rewarding, and in the end I think it ups the quality and meaning in life.  Maybe some people from this interdependent community I belong to have other tips for the nascent practitioner.  I will resist making any puns on the “latest fashion” that is Buddhism and send you off to the exciting wilds of your mental formations.

Gros Bisoux (that’s French for Big Kisses – but you probably already knew that),

Julia May 



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Comments read comments(12)
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theo

posted May 28, 2009 at 6:54 pm


I’ve been sitting (and reading) for about four months and going to groups for about two and your list matches my experience pretty closely (especially the bit about there always being a few irritating people at gatherings, which is not something often mentioned in public).
Buying larger Buddha statues is directly correlated with faster attainments, so she should be in good stead.
On a more serious note, I don’t really have a problem with celebrity Buddhist “conversions”–anything to spread knowledge about what Buddhism is really about is definitely positive. I’m usually loath to tell people that I practice because they tend to assume that it’s either (a) worship of a golden fat man or (b) some kind of new age quack thing like chiropractics or homeopathy. Anything to remove misconceptions is nice.



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GZA

posted May 28, 2009 at 7:43 pm


Good advice. Welcome Kate.



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Stillman

posted May 28, 2009 at 8:59 pm


LOL times one thousand!
Kate Moss, this is my comment.



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Michael

posted May 28, 2009 at 9:53 pm


Reading this good article reminds me just how different Western Buddhists are from ethnic Buddhists. When I go to local Buddhist temples (Thai Theravada or Chinese Mahayana), it’s not about meditating, taking notes and such. The truth is – I hear Western Buddhists gnashing their teeth – for ethnic (maybe, cradle) Buddhists, the temple has much the function that… oh, the horror!… the church had in earlier American society.



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Lauren

posted May 28, 2009 at 9:58 pm


Re: Theo’s comment:
“Buying larger Buddha statues is directly correlated with faster attainments,” that seems, well…anti-Buddhist. Can anyone explain?



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theo

posted May 28, 2009 at 11:01 pm


re Lauren:
I was kidding



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Patrick Groneman

posted May 29, 2009 at 1:05 am


Great Tips Julia. I would add that my own experience with group meditation seems to be the exact opposite of yours. I’ve always loved working in groups and taking direct instruction so group meditation was the easy part for me. At the beginning my biggest trouble was convincing myself to sit on my own and to remove things from my schedule that prohibited daily sessions. In either case I think the important thing is that both community and individual practice are key to developing a deeper meditation practice.



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Julia May

posted May 29, 2009 at 10:28 am


@theo: yes, the annoying factor is rarely talked about – except once you privately bring it up – then most people are often “oh my god, yes.” I mean, I know that I annoy people too in classes. If you talk at all you’re bound to annoy someone. And the best advice I got about that whole thing was when someone said, “Yes. People in dharma talks are always annoying. But I often find that to let go of the thought: ‘this dharma has to be good for *my* practice’ is empowering and lets me feel more benevolent.” And is actually better for your practice.
@patrick: I think you fall into the rarer category of a more social Buddhist practitioner. Which is awesome. For me, I find self-discipline easier than letting go of control in a dharma setting.
@michael: That’s very interesting and a good point.



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Ethan

posted May 29, 2009 at 11:52 am


Love these tips. Going to blog in the coming weeks about finding a Buddhist teacher.



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Nick Martin

posted May 30, 2009 at 4:38 pm


She should check in after 10 yrs to see if she is happier, more at peace, and more helpful to society, than continue or quit. As for the annoying Dharma gatherings, anyone who must speak up constantly obviously is a newcomer who must constantly reinforce there sense of being a separate person. For them, I offer compassion. After all, I AM the Dharma gathering in which I am also attending manifesting as me, a human being. No inside. No outside. No separation.



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Hope24Fuller

posted March 15, 2010 at 2:16 am


People deserve good life time and mortgage loans or just bank loan can make it much better. Because freedom is grounded on money.



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Anna

posted August 21, 2010 at 5:50 pm


In the whole world’s existence, at some dated, our inner pep goes out. It is then bust into enthusiasm by an be faced with with another hominoid being. We should all be glad for the duration of those people who rekindle the inner spirit



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