That before and after photo is amazing. You look totally different. Actually in the after photo you look more like what I think of you looking like, so maybe I just see past your skin. Okay that’s weird and I take it back.
You are now un-officially the poster child for Buddhism 3.0. (or is it 2.0? I keep getting my versions mixed up).
Spacious.!!

thanks Pat. I yearn for (in a non striving/non attached way) more descriptions about the week. the longest I’ve ever meditated was an hour… so a week is a bit daunting. Were you able to move? How was the meditation this week different than your daily practice? What lasting effects do you anticipate?
Lastly, I wonder about this quote: “we cannot easily change ourselves for the better”
who is to say what is better? If we are all one, there is no such thing as better.
anyway, glad you survived and have a smile.

Pat this is helpful. Thank you for sharing your week away.

Something I heard once from an American Buddhist Nun:
“Imagine yourself as if dead. Realize that now, as you entered upon this path, all of your worldly duties and obligations, all of your worldly concerns, may be laid to rest in peace.
Return to the point of mind where all your work is done. Where everything that needed to be done, is completed, and well finished. Imagine how it feels in your mind and your body for everything to be completely settled. And then to bring that into the next breath, in and out.
Now you may walk free upon the world, lightly upon the earth, leaving no trace behind you. Like a ghost, there will be only a few who have the eye to see you, and they will indeed be very special people. Don’t expect anything from others. Be happy with whatever they give, or don’t give. Live in harmony with the way of the world, walking its paths, but don’t be attached to them. This is the Middle Way.”

@ Jordan
The IMS retreat seemed perfect for a first timer. They encouraged stillness when possible, but always stressed us not to push ourselves to the point where we weren’t taking care of our bodies. It wasn’t about “finding truth” or anything like that, but more simply “letting go”, if sitting for a week seems daunting I would recommend this retreat.
It was different than my daily practice in that I got to really let go and learn to “just sit”. It took me about 3 days to actually begin forgetting plans from my “outside life”. It’s a great opportunity to see larger shapes in the waves of thoughts. Lasting effects would be a deeper faith in the meditation practice, that I will prioritize sitting much more highly than before. And just general spaciousness. Regarding the quote, I think what Brian posted addresses the question well.
@ Brian Naas
“Return to the point of mind where all your work is done” Thanks for posting this!

Hey Patrick,
Thanks for the little overview of your retreat at IMS. I love reading things like this, from folks who are trying out different practices / traditions. Very cool!
I got my start at IMS as well, doing a week-long retreat w/ Joseph Goldstein and others back in 03. I wanted to add to your description of the tradition, as very much about “letting go” and “allowing,” is that with some teachers you also get the other side of things, the old heroic effort mentality. When I sat with Goldstein, he had literally just come off a 6-week retreat with Sayadaw U Pandita–the lineage holder of the late & notoriously hardcore Mahasi Sayadaw (think Rinzai Zen master mixed with extremely methodical Theravada monk). As a result he led the retreat in a much more hardcore way, was encouraging everyone to continue practicing past the sleeping bell & was really stressing the hardcore noting practice every single moment of the day. It was the fiercest I’ve seen him, and it really jump-started my practice.
Anyway, I just mention this because there’s also that other strain present @ IMS, which I think you tend to get more with the folks who lead the 3-month retreat. Anyway, just thought I’d share, and welcome you back.
Best,
-Vince

Wow, reading back over my comment I realize I said “hardcore” like 3 times in 3 paragraphs. That’s ridiculous…

Thanks for sharing Pat. It was a great read and it inspires me to brave going on such a “long” retreat!
Kirsten

Awesome Patrick.
Really good stuff.
I will post some opportunities for folks to do longer retreats in the future.
@BrianNaas: What did the nun say to do for those of us whose work is NOT finished? :~)

@ vince
Thanks for the extended info. I’d imagine that things can get more hardcore in the longer retreats and “hardcore-ness” probably depends a great deal on the teacher (and where that teacher has recently been!) It’s great to hear how your practice got jump started, and i’d love to hear more stories from anyone else out there about their early retreats and getting started on the path. Might be an interesting topic for a podcast as well

@Ethan: vacation, vacation, vacation.

thanks for this patrick.
as far as zen, there’s zen mountain monastery in near woodstock. fire lotus in brooklyn is their temple.

This is awesome Pat. As someone who was on the retreat with you and saw you from beginning to end, I can attest that the picture was in no way staged. Pat couldn’t stop smiling when he got off retreat, and we had a laughter filled car ride home, with some wonderful silence too.
I think for most the first retreat can be really seminal, I know that for me it was. The most shocking thing is that you do, despite all your thoughts to the contrary either before or during, make it through to the end of the week. And are the better for it. It can really show that sustained and continuous has positive effects (see above), which is a huge source of conviction/faith for further practice. So, if anyone with a regular practice is on the fence, I say go for it, and best wishes.

Hey Patrick, congratulations on that first retreat. Those photos say everything. Thank you for sharing this.
My first retreat was actually my first real time sitting. Ever. I’d dabbled. Queried. But never really sat for more than 30 seconds. Of course, I christened myself by going in head first at Goenka’s Vipassana Meditation Center, also in western Mass.
It took ten years of “I prefer yoga” to come back around to a real daily sitting practice. I have IDP to thank for that.

Hey Patrick, congratulations on that first retreat. Those photos say everything. Thank you for sharing this.
My first retreat was actually my first real time sitting. Ever. I’d dabbled. Queried. But never really sat for more than 30 seconds. Of course, I christened myself by going in head first at Goenka’s Vipassana Meditation Center, also in western Mass.
It took ten years of “I prefer yoga” to come back around to a real daily sitting practice. I have IDP to thank for that.

@joe
Thanks for the heads up, I’ve been past the woodstock monastary on a camping trip, but haven’t looked at their programming yet.
@empathetics
Your advice really helped me focus my determination, so much so that it is getting its own blog post next week!
@stephanie
I couldn’t imagine the experience of a retreat without a formal practice already in place. It took me two years of regular practice and my roomate all but signing me up for a retreat to have the gumption to go for it. Your head first dive must have been quite an experience. Thanks for sharing!

It’s great that you are taking the time to try different forms of practice. It may be easy for someone to get turned off or just stuck by only trying one style. Keeping an open mind seems to be the ticket. Seems your first experience was a Catch-22, where your attempts at dealing with the anxiety created more of it. Too bad we can’t harness that and turn that self-fulfilling mechanism towards renewable energy! Imagine powering your computer with the anxiety created from the work you do on it.
Good luck finding a good Zen Sesshin!

For good intro Zen work, check out Still Mind Zendo – stillmindzendo.org
they have a fall weekend sesshin coming up at a great place – Garrison – and it has a “zen for beginners” component. highly recommend.