On Fire: Finding Your Gift And Using It

It’s crazy. Our true personhood and calling flow from desiring to give something of ourselves to help others. However, others are also the #1 squelcher of our personhood and calling.

How so?

Abusive authority figures teach us to watch our backsides in order to survive. We learn to continually scan faces and body language for disapproval and danger.

Teachers grade us. By the middle of first grade we realize there is a huge arbitrary component to grading. Does the teacher like us?

It’s awful to be left out of the game on the playground. What can we do to make them include us?

Professionals hold career doors open or closed. We send resumes and make follow-up calls. Did we do it right? Will the person on the receiving end approve?

Television, movies, the internet, radio—thousands of media messages every day preach: To be noticed or get ahead you must look like Heidi Klum, carve out your niche like Seth Godin and have the personality of Anthony Robbins. The bar is high and well-publicized. The package that is us—you and me—doesn’t fit. We struggle to change ourselves.

 What’s lost in the process?

We are. Our unique gifts and calling–trashed.

The planet also loses. An inclusive culture, economic evolvement and spiritual growth stall.

 What can we do?

1. Believe that you are a God-created being and are here to be who He created you to be.

2. Believe that God’s love holds you completely safe.

3. Cultivate this love in your soul: notice and record the movement of God in your heart and circumstances. Grow. Trust. Love.

4. Stop seeking the approval of others.

 Then turn around and pull them up with you.

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Gloria Rose

Gloria@gloriarose.com

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Do you know who you are? 

Grab a pen and write your answers:

1. What do I love?

2.  What do I hate?

3.  What are my key personality traits?

4. What are my top talents?

5. I get the most fulfillment when I do this:

6. My dream—my big wish for my life is:

Here’s why you need to know your answers to these questions:

1. Because you are a creation of God.

2. God formed you with something in mind and He has been shaping you for that purpose.

3. Working with God to accomplish your purpose is the apex of life. This is the work you are here to do.

4. If you don’t know who you are, you will spend your life chasing substitute identities which are false to you. Others may consider you successful but you will be empty and frustrated.

5. If you know who you are, you have:

• a means with which to make decisions,
• a criteria to use to say “yes” or “no” and
• a path to lead you somewhere.

Go.

Sit with God.

Read scripture.

Take notes on what you hear.

Walk it out.

Live who you are.

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photo credit: Mom Smackley (creative commons)

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Dear Reader, I need your help to make this blog a success. Would you subscribe (see bar above on the right) plus share this post with a friend who may enjoy it? Also, I appreciate your comments.  Thank you,

Gloria Rose

Gloria@gloriarose.com

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You’ve tried and tried. Rattled doors. Researched, strategized and planned. Pushed forward. Worked. Hoped and prayed.

But nothing seems to get traction. Your dream is going nowhere. You feel empty and alone. Broken-hearted.

Here’s what to do: for today (and longer if you can), return to being childlike:

1) Play. Act out of basic, intrinsic love for whatever it is you do. No one had to force you as a child to build a castle in the sand. You picked up a shovel and dug in—purely for the joy.

What is the work you love? Choosing materials and gluing them on?  Solving problems for your customer? Crafting a sermon that opens hearts?

Today do it simply because you love it.

2) Edit out thoughts of judgment, criticism or second-guessing. No agenda today. No result needed right now. Google stats don’t matter. No fear. Work-play with abandon.

3) Remove “No.” In this state of childlikeness, new ideas will come—softly, shyly—but they will come. Play with them.

The castle will grow more floors. A back door will appear. The moat will deepen and its water will swirl around curves.

 You love it.

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Dear Reader, As a Life Coach, I partner with you to clarify what you love and help you move forward in doing it. More info here.

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photo credit: markb 120 (creative commons)

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This is a new Beliefnet blog. I need your help to make it a success. Would you subscribe (see bar above on the right) plus share this post with a friend who may enjoy it? Also, I appreciate your comments.  Thank you,

Gloria Rose, Life Coach

www.gloriarose.com

Let’s connect:

My Email: Gloria@gloriarose.com

Twitter: @gloriabethrose

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Steven Pressfield writes about watching a famous trainer work with his thoroughbreds. To Steven’s surprise, the trainer took great pains to make the training sessions “fun” for the horses. The trainer explained:

Horses understand the whip but I don’t want a racer that runs that way. A horse that loves to run will beat a horse that’s compelled, every day of the week.

— S. Pressfield, Turning Pro: Tap Your Inner Power and Create Your Life’s Work

What’s true for horses is true for you and me.

Too often the compelling voice of “should” plays in our heads: You should be further along…You should be more like so and so…Mom / the Boss / the Editor says you should…Necessity says you should do this, not that. “Should” is a loud, ever-present whip. Its fearful, urgent considerations hijack our attention and our lives.

The truth is, we hate “should.” It exhausts and depletes us, but we need it to keep going in the parts of our lives it already controls—the parts where we are operating outside of our true heart. Unfortunately, a whip breeds the need for more whip.

Love, however, energizes and renews us. We, like racehorses, were born to do what we love.

If we are going to fulfill our destiny as co-creators with God, we must live and act out of love. Jesus said: As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. (John 15:9 NIV)

I’ve also discovered the whip can interfere even when I am doing what I love. One of my joys is choosing and placing words on a page so that an important point is made crystal-clear. I am thrilled when someone is helped. However, “should” causes me to write less:

You should reply to these emails right away.

You should call her back right now.

You should do work that is more lucrative.

You should write more like so and so—he’s so awesome.

You should get more done in a day than you do.

 The pressure of the whip makes me question myself and what I’m doing. Back off! I tell this internal nemesis. I’m doing what I love—this is what I’m here for—what I’m supposed to do!

 I must train myself to run free, without the whip.

 You ask: Are you saying we can live carelessly, without concern for food and shelter and caring for our dependents? Just go off and do anything we please whenever we want?

No, no. However, consider this:

• Review your entire life from as far back as you can remember up until now. When did you feel the most energized? The most truly alive? The most you?

• What was happening during these times? What were you doing?

• How can you do more of that now?

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Dear Reader, As a life coach, I partner with people, like you, to clarify what they love. People seek coaching when they want their life to be different and they have a goal or direction to pursue. More info on coaching with me is here.

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photo credit: sufw (creative commons)

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This is a new Beliefnet blog. I need your help to make it a success. Would you subscribe (see bar above on the right) plus share this post with a friend who may enjoy it? Also, I appreciate your comments.  Thank you,

Gloria Rose, Life Coach

My Email: Gloria@gloriarose.com

Let’s connect:

Twitter: @gloriabethrose

LinkedIn