Janice Taylor, Editor: December 2008 Archives

Yesterday was one of those days. At approximately 7:30 a.m. my 92 year-young mother, Harriet, called me and said, "I'm going to the hospital in about twenty minutes. I called the super to take me; I'm not up to driving myself. He's taking his kids to school first, and then he'll come and get me."

She continued. "My heart has been racing for a few days, and now my whole body is shaking too. ... No. Don't come. No, I won't call an ambulance. I don't like the noise, and I don't want 'them' to be coming for 'me.' Everyone will be talking about it. No! Do not come. It's nothing. I'll call you when I know something."

We hang up. I sit and stare at the wall for a good 15 minutes. I'm not a panicky, fast to react type of person. Since I was a little kid ... it's just how I'm hard-wired. My mind goes blank, and I stare for a bit before I move into reaction mode.

And THEN I move into action mode. In this particular case, I wrote out a check list of things to do and I was on it: Call the hospital; see if she's arrived (in one alive piece); get a doctor on the phone; access what's happening; clear my calendar; check the train schedule. (We live in NYC; no car! Imagine that!! We would have liked one yesterday, although driving when you are preoccupied with your mother's demise isn't a good idea.)

Thankfully, my husband is home. I say to him, "What book are you bringing for the train." He tells me, and I think I'll bring something that is going to make me feel good, something I bought some time ago and haven't had the time to read (I figure this is no time to be reading hard-core hypnosis or coaching books; maybe something light - maybe something that will get me through the day). Grace (Eventually) Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott is my pick. I adore Anne Lamott and have even gone to hear her speak! (I'm picky about my authors.)

We head off ... and when we get to the train station, I am in charge of purchasing the train tickets and Peter, my sweet and supportive husband, is in charge of breakfast. I tell him to just "pick me up a plain bagel." (NYC bagels (due to their ridiculous super-size) - without butter or cream cheese - are about 552 calories (about! HA!). But if you gut the bread out of them, you can enjoy a relatively fat-free 400 calories, which at the end of the day is not a bad breakfast when on the run.)

When we get to the hospital, we find my mother in her emergency room cubicle, and she is having the time of her life. The hospital is a teaching hospital, and my mother is being examined by 3 'newbie' doctors. She is flirting with each and every one and giving wise-crackin' answers to their overly serious (as she sees it) queries.

Doctor A (for Adorable) asks, "Are you taking any drugs, illegal or otherwise?" And my mother says, "You mean aside from the fifth of scotch I drink every day?" He is writing down, 1/5 of Scotch (blank faced; practicing his non-judgmental doctor face.)

My mother smells wine and gets drunk. I've never seen her have more than a glass of Manischewitz grape wine. She spies me walking in and starts laughing so hard, that she starts to cry, as do I. The 'newbie' doctor is concerned that she's having an 'attack.' "No," I explain. "It's a mother/daughter moment. And by the way, scratch off that scotch from your list."

We visit in the ER for hours and hours. More doctors, more laughs. They are adjusting her high blood pressure medication and, at the end of the day, since she won't allow anything more than that, we are hoping that the adjustments are enough to carry her through another 92 years.

It is at that moment that I realize that I am hungry and ask for the bagel. My husband is a hard-core Brooklynite from the old days and his family (old school) used to call pretzels bagels. Yup, he bought a bag of NYC pretzels from a fancy bakery at the train station.

I bite into the pretzel and much to my surprise, I find that it is stuffed with Mozzarella cheese.

I go nutzo ... "What's in this? I wanted a bagel and had to settle for a pretzel! Saboteur!!!" I continue on my tirade, "How could YOU buy ME a Mozzarella Stuffed Pretzel? How many calories, how much fat is in it? Could 'they' make anything worse for us (the American public)."

At which point my husband cuts me off and says calmly and slowly, "Grace, my dear ... eventually."

This IS a moment of grace. God has provided me an opportunity to express my upset about my mother, indirectly. An opportunity to yell and scream about Mozzarella Stuffed Pretzels. An opportunity break the damn pretzel in half and eat it, slowly, savoring the fat (by the way, knowing that I'd missed both breakfast and lunch - so really, no harm done, and the protein and fat would probably do me some good).

And I smile, Anne Lamott is right. Grace arrives Eventually (in this case, 3/4 of the way through the day ... not such a long wait); and it arrives in unexpected forms. No angels singing. Just me yelling in the face of a mozzarella stuffed pretzel!!!

Sometimes a Stuffed Mozzarella Pretzel is a God-send, packed full of unexpected grace in an unpredictable form! And my husband - a form of grace, as well - shining the light on this miraculous moment of 'grace.'

I wonder what unpredictable moments of grace will avail itself today. Long live the 'Mozzarella Stuffed Pretzel."

Spread the word ... NOT the icing!
Janice

PS: Anyone want to leave a comment for my mother, please do so. When I put the first video of her on the site and read her your comments, she got such a huge kick. With each and every entry, she laughed, and said ... "Are these your friends?" "Yes," I responded, "although I've not met most of them." Peels of laughter ... "Oh," she said, "This is a funny new world. ... Read me more."

-----------------------------------------------------------
Janice Taylor is a Life & Wellness Coach, author, seminar leader and 50-pound-BIG-Time-LOSER!

For more motivation and inspiration, join the Kick in the Tush Club: Beliefnet Chapter.

Pick up a copy of Janice's latest: All Is Forgiven, Move ON ~ Our Lady of Weight Loss's 101 Fat-Burning Steps on Your Journey to Sveltesville!

" . . . . kooky genius ~ see if her idiosyncratic diet plan will work for you." ~ O, The Oprah Magazine

about Janice

Non-Emotional Spirit Sappers! by Janice Taylor, Life & Wellness Coach and 50 pound big-time-loser.

Sometimes things get in our way and weigh us down, stop us from moving forward, muck up the works and inadvertently send us to the fridge, and these things may have nothing whatsoever to do with our emotions.

Some of these non-emotional spiritual sappers fall below our conscious radar and are computed by our subconscious. So take a moment to stop, be aware, look around, listen, and take note. Particularly important to do during the holiday season, when your energy is being pulled in so many different directions!

What is seriously sapping your spiritual energy? Your resolve? Your energy?

1. CLUTTER silently gnaws, bites, and nibbles away at your calm center as it takes up valuable air and space.

What to do? Clean up, of course! Make order (humans love order). Read "Miracle of Clearing Proportions."

2. LOUD NOISES grate, aggravate, annoy and irritate and can wind you up and drive you mad!

What to do? Wear ear plugs! From $1 to $187.50

3. AIR POLLUTION can negatively impact on our health, cause coughs, burning eyes, breathing problems and even death (which would surely sap spiritual energy).

What to do? True, we have no choice but to breathe, however, we can avoid high-traffic industrialized areas on poor air quality days (my head is spinning that we've created such a planet). Protect yourself and the air you breath!

4. DEHYDRATION dries, shrivels and depresses. Our bodies are more than 75 percent water, our blood is more than 80 percent water, our muscles more than 75 percent water and our brains more than 76 percent water! We NEED water to think!

What to do? Bottoms up, plain and simple. Drink 6 to 8 glasses every day! Our Lady has plenty to say on the topic!

5. WORRYING clutters the mind, drains, takes up valuable thinking time and carries some heavy-duty negative health effects with it.

What to do? Meditate, listen to music, chant!

6. SLEEP DEPRIVATION brings on feelings of irritability, impatience and depression. It weakens the immune system and leaves dark circles on ones eyes.

What to do? Get a good night's rest! (Duh!) Stanford U. has some tips on sleeping!

7. TELEVISION deadens the mind and puts you into a non-active, non-thinking state. You disappear all right, but not in a good way.

What to do? Escape into a book. Or into something interactive that teaches. I highly recommend EdHeads.org. Have FUN!

Spread the word, NOT the icing,
Janice

For more motivation and inspiration, join the Kick in the Tush Club: Beliefnet Chapter.

Pick up a copy of Janice's latest: All Is Forgiven, Move ON ~ Our Lady of Weight Loss's 101 Fat-Burning Steps on Your Journey to Sveltesville!

" . . . . kooky genius ~ see if her idiosyncratic diet plan will work for you." ~ O, The Oprah Magazine

about Janice

Hey everyone, I was 'on' the Pat Farnack Show, WCBS Radio, a few weeks ago. The radio station 'filmed' us informally. In other words, they set up a camera and let it roll. There's no editing, no lighting, no complementary angles, no hair or make-up. It's me arriving early in the morning ... talking for about 8 minutes.

If you are curious as to what I have to say, how I look, are a fan of Pat Farnack (she has a lovely radio voice, and is a wonderful person), then hit the play button!!!

Let me know what you think!

Spread the word ... NOT the icing,
Janice

Ho, Ho - Hold on there! I know ... it's easy to throw your hands up in the air and say, "It's okay. It's the holidays. I'll straighten up and eat right in January."

But will you get a handle on things come the New Year? And if you do, how much damage will you have suffered?

Make a conscious choice.
Think it through. How will the Scales of Injustice register post holiday? Up, down, sideways? Do you want to lose weight? Maintain? Is it okay to gain a pound or two? There's no right or wrong answer. It's your choice.

Face the food, head on.
Whether you are trying to lose weight, maintain or just stay healthy, to get you through this holiday season Our Lady wants you to keep her Top Ten Holiday Commandments in mind. 10 commandments printout 2008.pdf. Sometimes a simple reminder is all you need.

Spread the word ... NOT the icing!
Janice

______________
Janice Taylor is a Life & Wellness Coach, Cert. Hypnotist, author, columnist, seminar leader and 50 pound big-time-loser.

Want a free Weight Loss Consult?

I'm still wrapped up, more or less, in Oprah's 200 pounds. I can't stop thinking about her process, and wondering what she might have thought or felt the first time a zipper busted along her 40 pound weight GAIN journey. Yup, quite the journey!

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not coming from a judgmental place. I mean, I've been there. Oh yeah! More than once. More than twice. I've yo'yo'ed my share! I'm in sympathy with Oprah and at the same time I really want to give her one mighty KICK in the TUSH!!!

So, while I say "Oprah, wow, you must feel really crappy; and wow! It must be really hard for you to be center weight loss stage again!" I also want to say, "Oprah, what were you thinking? Clearly, you haven't been paying attention to anything that I've been saying. The first rule of permanent fat removal is to make your home your safe haven. And you did NOT!"

Permanent Fat Removal Tip #1 - Guaranteed to Save you at Least 10 Pounds Worth of Fatty Upset ... MAKE YOUR HOME YOUR SAFE HAVEN.

If the Devil's food knows your name and calls out to you, teasing you and tempting you, and you feel compelled to answer it, touch it, lick it, or nibble on it, best get rid of it NOW!

I realize that this may be a jarring thought. Perhaps your relationship with cake has been your most successful and long-standing relationship to date, and you are reluctant to give it up. Permit me to assure you that you will survive. While separation anxiety can be painful, it will pass, allowing you to go into the 'lite.'

Keeping your home clear of these items; in essence making your home a safe haven affords you an opportunity to establish healthy, solid habits. It is essential that you create an environment that supports your permanent fat removal efforts; a place where you are as free as possible from excessive food thoughts.

Now, give the Twinkie, the Devil's food, or that chocolate bar that you have hidden in the back of your refrigerator to your neighbor or the doorman, or donate it to your local church or ship it overseas.

(FYI ... More great fat burning steps available in: ALL IS FORGIVEN, MOVE ON, the best permanent fat removal book ever! And yes, 190 pounds of weight loss tips to come from me to you and Oprah!

Spread the word ... NOT the icing,
Janice
________________________
Janice Taylor is a Life & Wellness Coach, Cert. Hypnotist, author, columnist, seminar leader and 50 pound big-time-loser.

Want a free Weight Loss Consult?