Pontifications

Paralyzed--and denied a church wedding

Monday June 9, 2008

Can this be true? Catholic World News reports that an Italian bishop has refused to allow a church wedding for a paraplegic man because the impotence resulting from his crippling automobile accident would be grounds for an annulment.

A spokesman for Bishop Lorenzo Chiarinelli of Viterbo explained that although the bride was aware of her fiancé's condition, their union could not be celebrated as a Christian marriage because impotence is grounds for annulment. The couple-- whose identities were not disclosed-- were married in a civil ceremony. Their pastor, having been refused permission to witness the union in a Catholic ceremony, attended the civil event.
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Comments
Mareczku
June 21, 2008 11:05 AM

I was a virgin when I got married. I didn't even think about or fantasize about having sex. When I was a teen I thought that most guys (& girls) were virgins when they got married. (I went to 12 years of Catholic school.) According to the Church we are supposed to be chaste when we got married. So before I was married I wouldn't have known if I could "perform" because I had never done it. If we faithfully followed the Church rules we would be pure virgins and not have an orgasm until our wedding night. This is called self-mastery. How healthy young guys are supposed to accomplish this is beyond me. That was never explained to me. The number of guys who remained physically pure until their wedding night is surely very very low.

Mareczku

Where is love?
June 22, 2008 9:30 AM

In each of these posts, I see each of you defending the doctines of the church, yet I do not see one word of love or compassion in any of these posts. All I see is pharasitical adherance to doctrine.

We are supposed to be following Jesus' doctrine of love. I truly doubt that in divine love, Jesus would have denied the marriage. A pharisee would, but Jesus would not.

Marie (Belleo)
June 26, 2008 7:36 AM

Yes it is grounds for an annulment . What makes it a marriage ? The definition of marriage is that one is suppose to be able to have sex . There are many other grounds for annulments in the Church . I'm not the Pope so I don't pass judgment. Today all kinds of people say they are Catholic and that includes some priests and they do not adhere to the teachings of the Church .
Now that gets me thinking. That can be dangerous for some . What about my father who remarried in his late 80's. I really don't think it was to have more babies . He had already had 14 and his new bride had had 18 children . I didn't ask them if they could still have sex as it was none of my business . Maybe that could be annulled ?

Francis
June 26, 2008 7:39 AM

This is a difficut one! The woman wanted to marry the paralysed man. She knew he was impotent - how? Sex before marriage is a breaking of God's law of love and fidelity first and foremost to Him. If the woman found out her love was impotent by breaking God's first commandment and she went to confession, she should have wanted to change her life by not seeking pre-marital sex again. Instead, one could argue that their emotional ties to each other were as a result of a disordered emotion, arising from carnal desire in the first instance.

As to being a Pharisee, the above comment seems to suggest that Christ - who is the Son of the Living God - somehow confirmed people in their sin. He didn't !

Love is not contrary to reason and if this couple had looked at the situation soberly, they would perhaps understand and sympathise with the Church's view.

Equally, if the man found out he was impotent by medical means alone; than this in itself should have led to a serious sober consideration of the facts. A couple, who should remain virgins before marriage, should be encouraged to have a medical before they marry, so that the outcome of this medical may have a serious bearing on their final decidion to marry or not.

With reference to the question of impotence, as faithful catholics they should recognise the fulfilment of God's marriage is the bearing of children. The decision not to marry for this reason, would not take anything away from their platonic friendship and affection for one another, as Christians should indeed show such affection and the emotive issue of the man's paralysis should not be used like an emotional entrapment for the woman or vice versa.

To sacrifice the marriage for faithful fidelity to God's Law of Love, in the fullest meaning of the word, is not only not a bad thing, but also a primary responsiblity of a Christian, without removing the natural affection we should have for one another, as a community of brothers and sisters.

For my insight into Cohabiting Couples who have grown alienated by the Church please read my article at:-

http://lanternofchrist.freeforums.org/to-cohabiting-new-parents-alienated-from-the-catholic-faith-t1.html

I am praying for these guys, anyhow and all of us who have to make tough decisions.

God Bless

Anon
April 29, 2009 4:57 AM

My Husband was paralyzed some years ago (after 10 years of marraige and 4 children) and is a paraplegic. We have a very loving sexual relationship. I never heard anything so un-christian and uninformed in my life! If all men had to have sperm analysis done before marraige would this bishop deny a church wedding to all those whose sperm weren't up to standard? I also know many paraplegics that have been married in a church. I wonder where this bishop took his instruction from?

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This blog is no longer updated and is closed for comments. We welcome your comments about Catholicism in our Catholic forums.

David Gibson is an award-winning religion writer who specializes in writing about the Catholic Church, which he joined as a convert at the age of 30. He is the author The Rule of Benedict: Pope Benedict XVI and His Battle with the Modern World. He also wrote The Coming Catholic Church: How the Faithful are Shaping a New American Catholicism. He has written about Catholicism for leading newspapers and magazines, including the New York Times, Newsweek, The Wall Street Journal, New York magazine, Boston magazine, Fortune, Commonweal, and America. Gibson worked in Rome for Vatican Radio for several years and traveled frequently with Pope John Paul II. He later covered religion for The Star-Ledger of New Jersey. He has co-written several recent documentaries on Christianity for CNN. For further information check out his website at dgibson.com.

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