America’s finest news source,The Onion,has an editorial from another Christian perspective. Warning: She’s not one of those “Love Thy Neighbor Christians.”
Everybody has this image of “crazy Christians” based on what they hear in the media, but it’s just not true. Most Christians are normal, decent folks. We don’t all blindly follow a bunch of outdated biblical tenets or go all fanatical about every bit of dogma. What I’m trying to say is, don’t let the actions of a vocal few color your perceptions about what the majority of us are like.
Like me. I may be a Christian, but it’s not like I’m one of those wacko “love your neighbor as yourself ” types.
God forbid!
I’m here to tell you there are lots of Christians who aren’t anything like the preconceived notions you may have. We’re not all into “turning the other cheek.” We don’t spend our days committing random acts of kindness for no credit. And although we believe that the moral precepts in the Book of Leviticus are the infallible word of God, it doesn’t mean we’re all obsessed with extremist notions like “righteousness” and “justice.”
My faith in the Lord is about the pure, simple values: raising children right, saying grace at the table, strictly forbidding those who are Methodists or Presbyterians from receiving communion because their beliefs are heresies, and curing homosexuals. That’s all. Just the core beliefs. You won’t see me going on some frothy-mouthed tirade about being a comfort to the downtrodden.
I’m a normal Midwestern housewife. I believe in the basic teachings of the Bible and the church. Divorce is forbidden. A woman is to be an obedient subordinate to the male head of the household. If a man lieth down with another man, they shall be taken out and killed. Things everybody can agree on, like the miracle of glossolalia that occurred during Pentecost, when the Apostles were visited by the Holy Spirit, who took the form of cloven tongues of fire hovering just above their heads. You know, basic common sense stuff.
But that doesn’t mean I think people should, like, forgive the sins of those who trespass against them or anything weird like that.
posted November 23, 2008 at 10:04 am
I mistakenly thought Michele McGinty wrote that.
posted November 23, 2008 at 5:38 pm
On one of her milder days.
posted November 23, 2008 at 9:34 pm
I love it!!! It’s exceptional for those of us that claim to be “evangelical”, and our “fundamentalist” Brothes and Sisters!
posted November 24, 2008 at 11:57 am
She’s perfectly described your basic “hard shell Baptist.”
posted November 24, 2008 at 1:22 pm
I’m thankful that she didn’t accurately describe my church group. It must just be awful to be involved with such a narrow minded group as she describes.
At my church we DO believe in “Love They Neighbor” — for all of those who deserve our love, i.e. those who follow the expectations of our culture and who voted for the Right candidate in the last election.
Thank God we’re not like those other people!
posted December 5, 2008 at 2:07 am
Not everybody can agree on things like “the miracle of glossolalia that occurred during Pentecost.” Have you even studied glossolalia at all? Cerebral blood flow to the languages centers of the brain lessen during glossolalia, meaning a person isn’t speaking a real language, so they don’t activate such areas. Glossolalia is meaningless but phonologically structured human utterance, believed by the speaker to be a real language. A glossolalist will have the dialect of their native-language, not suddenly a new language. There is also no distinction between the glossolalia practised by Christians and the glossolalia practiced by non-religious persons. During the pentecostal movement, glossolalia became a hit with some religions, even though before it was only attributed to “miracles”.
Also a woman isn’t meant to be an obedient subordinate to the male head of the household. There are differences in thought processes between males and females, but this doesn’t mean one or the other is smarter or should be dominate over the other. With such beliefs, I’m surprised she could even speak, she sounds as if she is from eras ago.