Every person has a right to serve his country, gays included. All have a right to serve their country openly without hiding who they are. It’s kind of odd that so many heterosexuals who are not prepared to make that kind of sacrifice, refusing to enlist in the military and preferring instead to live as armchair warriors, are condemning those with a patriotic passion to fight for freedom.
The other day a woman called my radio show on WABC 770AM in NYC to Homosexuality is a religious sin. The Bible makes that much clear. I am a Rabbi and I take the words of the Bible seriously. But I will On the same radio show a member of the military called in and said, In general, America has become homosexual-obsessed. In nearly every The Bible uses the word ‘abomination’ approximately 122 times. True,
argue with me. She was adamantly against the repeal of ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.’
She said a homosexual lifestyle was dirty and against the Bible. I asked her
whether she had children of military age and whether they, as good, clean,
heterosexuals would enlist in place of the gays whom she would ban. She
responded, “They are doing other things to serve their country.” I thought so.
But it is not a moral sin. Rather than being like the moral (and religious) sin
of adultery, in which lying, deception, and injury to an innocent party are
committed, homosexuality is an infraction between G-d and man. In that sense it
is akin to lighting a fire on the Sabbath, an act strictly forbidden by the
Bible. No moral sin has taken place, but it is forbidden on religious grounds.
not call gay men and women names, I will not become a homophobe, and I will not
make the error of mistaking sins that are deeply unethical, like ‘Do Not
Steal,’ with those that are simply irreligious, like gay men living together.
having served with homosexuals in the military under ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,’ he
too was opposed to the reversal of the ban. ‘Too many gay men hit on me in the
showers and the barracks, and were pretty aggressive about it, for me to think
that they should ever be allowed to serve openly in the military. It will only
make things worse.” To be sure, I don’t agree with the sentiment. I have worked
with gay men and have become very close to many of them and they have yet to
hit on me even once. Granted, I am about five-foot-six, have a bushy beard, and
have a monopack rather than a six-pack. But jokes aside, even if I disagree
with the sentiment I respect the veteran offering the opinion because he
actually served. He fought, he sacrificed, and he has earned the right to a
strong opinion on the matter. I believe his opinion is flawed in that it is
probably more of an argument for the complete and utter separation of men and
women in the military than it is against the repeal of ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.’
Still, he is a veteran and has earned the right to be strongly heard. The rest
of us, however, who have, for the most part, put personal considerations like
fear of injury or love of making a little bit more money that what’s on offer
in the military ahead of giving our country a few years of our lives, and
perhaps life itself, should perhaps be a little bit more humble about elevating
our opinions on a par with those who have enlisted.
election cycle it’s all-gay’s-all-the-time. Rather than talking the need for
values in American life, like greater spirituality and less materialism, we’re
talking incessantly about gay marriage. We have a 50 percent divorce rate.
We’ve got about half of all teens having heterosexual sex at ages where they
are absolutely not ready for that kind of adult experience and it is deeply
injurious to their ability to later create bonds of intimacy. But do we ever
talk about this stuff? Nope. Because the breakdown of marriage, many contend,
is all due to gay marriage. But if we straight people were just a little bit
more honest with ourselves we would have to confess that we’ve done a pretty
good job of ruining marriage on our own without any outside help, thank you
very much. There is no need for easy scapegoats.
it uses it for homosexual sex, but it does so also for envy, jealousy, and
arrogance. Perhaps, at times, we religious heterosexuals are guilty of allowing
our principles to spill over into outright homophobia, which is a sin against
G-d and might just constitute something of an abomination itself. For all are
G-d’s children, and all try their best, amid a fallible nature, to serve G-d
and country as best they can.
posted June 2, 2010 at 5:59 pm
Good for you! It’s great to hear a religious man who has not confused his religious beliefs with homophobia. People far too often use religion as a reason to condemn gay marriage when it’s really masked homophobia. Being gay or straight does not affect one’s ability to perform as a soldier, as for gay men hitting on the soldier in the shower, I highly doubt that, I’ve changed in locker rooms with other women all the time and never even thought to look, let alone hit on anyone. We do have respect and restraint! We’re people, not animals! What tears me up is the gay men and lesbians who have served in the armed forces honorably, were found out to be gay, and given a dishonorable discharge, losing their benefits, their dignity, and everything they worked for simply because they are gay. Come on now, is that fair? You give someone a medal one day because you thought they were straight, and a dishonorable discharge the next because it was found out they were gay. How sad are we?
posted June 3, 2010 at 8:49 pm
“Gays Have a Right to Serve their Country” is most certainly true. I totally agree.
Excellent post, Rabbi.
posted June 6, 2010 at 10:31 am
Thank you for a most reasonable post on this topic. There is so much hate being spewed forth, on this and other topics, that your words are a light in the darkness.
posted June 6, 2010 at 10:37 am
Dear Rabbi Shmuley Boteach AHALOM !I
It’s so important that people will understand that all human being
Are part of God therefore instant of people stating everybody’s case but their own They should understand from the heart that we are longing to be united, otherwise We feel we are separated ,we need to help one another in order to unite within
And then we will be under divine awareness which we so long to be
May we be ready ASAP –Amen !
posted June 6, 2010 at 10:43 am
I completely disagree. Having served 9 years in the Air Force I find it first offensive to be called a “homophobe” as I have no “irrational fear” of gays. Does it make me a “pedophobe” to find pedophilia disgusting”? No. I have worked with gays in civilian life and have no problem with them living their own lifestyle where you can avoid it if you find it offensive. But that is not the case in the military. Those who would not want to room with gays would have no choice. I think the reaction of most heterosexual men in the military to rooming with gays is the same as most heterosexual women if forced to room with men. This lifestyle is less than 1% of the population. Lets keep it out of the forced environs of the military, because those that don’t like it can’t avoid it there.
posted June 6, 2010 at 11:46 am
Dear Rabbi Shmuley;
Again you have impressed me with your compassion and well-thought out response to this issue. I myself am a Reform Jew and take a slightly different approach on the issue of homosexuality being “unreligious”. However, that aside, I applaud your example as a deeply religious spiritual leader who is able to see to the heart of the matter and truly follow the teachings of Moses; namely, “Do not do unto others what you would not have them do to you.”
posted June 6, 2010 at 1:43 pm
unless someone is in the Business of sexual activity or promoting promiscuity i do not understand why Anyone needs to declare his or her chosen sexual lifestyle to any other than his or her chosen partner — why does Anyone else’s sexual preference need to be publicized for all the world to see or hear? — why should it not be a private thing between the 2 adults involved? — perhaps we have become “homosexual-obsessed” because it is constantly being put out there aggressively? (for example, i have never heard of a heterosexual pride day parade, have you?)
any adult willing to serve his or her country should be allowed to do so, but how does the chosen sexual activity being made public by Anyone, homosexual or otherwise, help?
and yes, i have sons and Many relatives who serve and have served
which brings me to another point — why do we not let others who also want to serve be allowed to do so? — for example, there are many of us older people who would like to help and are not allowed because of our age — maybe we would not be as helpful on the battle ground, but there are many other things we could do — so here again , tell me how “Every person has a right to serve his country…”
posted June 6, 2010 at 2:56 pm
I feel the need now to; “come out”, if you will..to post a thought on the topic of “gay’s serving in the military”, only because i am gay and feel the need to at least have a moment with others to say a word or two on this topic.
I can only speak for myslef on this matter, but would like to at least clear some of the huge misconceptions others have to say about someone such as me.
Number one, if I were in the military and had to room with a heterosexual woman, I can most assuredly tell you, I wouldn’t at all be making ANY moves on anyone !!!!. Nor would I be willing to discuss what I do in my PRIVATE life with ANYONE because it isn’t any of your business !!!. I do NOT want to know anything about what others do in their bedroom’s and I would like everyone to stay out of mine.
This issue has been way blown out of proportion !. How many tax dollars are we going to spend fighting this issue when we SHOULD BE focusing on this war we’re in, at hand ?.
What is it that people don’t seem to get, that we DO NOT want you, “that way”. We would be there to do our jobs and that’s it. Someome is spending the tax payers hard earned dollars on this issue when they should be doing other things with our money.
The US military has sent walking papers to countless people who were there to do their job and NOTHING else. And they were asked, “to leave” just because they are gay. Some of these people you sent home were friends of mine who DID do a wonedrful job at their assigned duty. They were highly skilled people that were NOT easily replaced. How sad it was over such an issue that shouldn’t have been an “issue” in the first place !!!!.
posted June 6, 2010 at 5:05 pm
My question is, why is it assumed that just because a person is a homosexual that they will hit on a heterosexual just because they happen to room, shower, with them? One would think that just because they are gay or lesbian they have no sense of right or wrong. I expect there are those that would like to believe that in order to say the current policy should stay in force. Discharging men and women who happen to be homosexual is just wrong, and a loss to the military of needed and dedicated people. The military doesn’t draft (fortunately) anymore so those that are in it want to be service members. Blacks at one time couldn’t serve….and when they could had to be separated from Whites. Couldn’t room together, eat together etc. This is exactly the same thing…discrimiation. Black people couldn’t “hide” their skin color. Sexual orientation can be hidden, but shouldn’t have to be.
posted June 6, 2010 at 9:59 pm
I served for a number of years in the Army just when the WAC separation ended and we became a part of US Army. The billets I lived in for close to a year was a very companionable community of straight and gay women. We all knew who was straight and who wasn’t, but we were all soldiers first; our private lives off-duty were our own affair. And that’s how this new policy will end up: no earth shattering discoveries; no ‘oh my G-d I didn’t suspect’. Maybe just a sigh of relief at not having to pretend anymore.
posted June 7, 2010 at 11:46 am
Bonnie…THANK YOU for that post. I really hope you are correct about the future….”no earth shattering discoveries; no’oh my G-d I ddin’t suspect.”
posted June 7, 2010 at 4:50 pm
I believe everyone who have the heart to serve the country in the military should be allowed especially the gays if they want to.Your purpose to serve as patriotic citizen should be seen when one enlist himself in the military service.Service is about one’s conviction to
give away or lay one’s life to defend the country whatever it takes,
there are gays who have a braveheart to serve,and there are man who
doesn’t have the blood of a warrior,so,when a person enlist himslf in the military,i believe that the person is like a lamb,like Jesus who
have given away ,laid His life because of LOVE.
thanks!
posted June 7, 2010 at 7:54 pm
I am grateful to your bravery on this topic, you being from the background your from, Thank you for speaking out
posted June 8, 2010 at 1:02 am
The job of our military is to protect and defend this country, it should not be used for social change or social engineering. To preserve the freedoms that we have, the country must survive.
That said, as long as allowing gays to serve openly doesn’t weaken our military, I don’t have a problem with it.
posted June 8, 2010 at 12:23 pm
I am not sure why any gay person would want to serve in the military for a country that treats them like second class citizens. If the heterosexuals want to make their club exclusive then that is fine with me. They can go to war, they can die, they can do it all since they feel themselves so much better than us “dirty” gay folk.
posted June 9, 2010 at 4:55 am
I’m not too concerned that G_d spends much time worrying about who I sleep with, just that I treat them with love and respect. That said I appreciate and fully agree with what Rabbi Shmuley has to say on Gays serving in the military. A also appreciate him saying it, and the way he said it, with his unequivocal recognition and condemnation of homophobia. He’s also right that the people who’s opinions should be given the most weight on the subject are those who do serve.
On that point, I’ve seen many in the military express support for their gay colleagues to be able to serve openly, and I’ve seen many opposed. On the subject of of the soldier he met getting hit on in the shower, I’m sure it happens and it’s regrettable. I’d like to know if he’s ever hit on any of his female colleagues, though, or if he’s seen other men in his unit do so. I’m sure that happens all the time, and it’s equally objectionable. In either case, it’s a breach of professional demeanor and should be sanctioned. Such behavior by some does not strike me as a reason to prevent an entire class of person from serving, however.
posted June 9, 2010 at 5:22 am
ichthusthree – There’s no heterosexual pride day because there’s no need for one. Pretty much everyday is heterosexual pride day. The expectation and assumption that people are straight is all around everywhere. You say that you don’t understand the need to declare one’s sexuality in public, but I bet you where a wedding ring. What do you think you’re doing when you wear it? With every family picture, with every wedding ring, and in most conversations and advertisements, straight people declare their sexuality publicly, openly, and with pride. Public displays of heterosexual affection are seen everywhere and usually are treated with happy indulgence. Gay people would like to be able to do the same.
For centuries (and still in many parts of the world), gay people have had to hide in the shadows and were (are) expected to be ashamed of who they were (are). For kids growing up knowing they were gay, the only gay role models were negative if they existed at all. This caused and causes incalculable psychological harm to millions of people, and many, many suicides, especially by vulnerable teenagers. I think your being confronted with the reality that many gay people exist, are proud of who they are, and lead full, happy lives is a small price to pay for preventing those harms.
It should also be noted that many people take a less negative view of gay people when they know someone who is gay. For that reason alone it is important that gay people be as public about their sexuality as they are comfortable being. Hiding their light under a bushel allows unreasoning hatred and fear to flourish. Being open about forces others to confront and, maybe, reconsider those unreasoning fears.
Finally, your attitude is a not so subtle form of homophobia. It says you’re willing to tolerate gay people only so long as youcan’t see them. In essence, they are something so repugnant that they need to be kept out of sight. How would you like to be told that you are so worthless that decent, respectable people should be spared the sight of you?
posted June 14, 2010 at 8:25 am
Very awesome post! Honest!
posted June 24, 2010 at 5:05 pm
thnk you for sharing forever travesti
posted June 29, 2010 at 9:21 am
Mary, you said, “I am not sure why any gay person would want to serve in the military for a country that treats them like second class citizens.” Maybe it’s because the homosexuals who are willing to enlist and fight for their country have a higher degree of character than those who would discourage them from serving by passing discriminatory laws to further their own homophobic agenda. I served in the military with a lot of homosexual soldiers, both men and women. The incidence of a gay soldier hitting on a straight one is far less than that of their heterosexual counterparts hitting on soldiers of the opposite sex. You rarely if ever hear of gay rape or a gay man assaulting a heterosexual in the military, however, the news is replete with scandals in the military involving heterosexual coersion, sexual assault and rape. The Air Force Academy scandal in Colorado Springs is just an example.
DADT (Don’t Ask Don’t Tell) has served its purpose, but it’s now antiquated. It’s time has come and gone, and it is time that we as a naton stop quibbling over placing disciminatory legislation in place and start acting like a mature nation who has outgrown the schoolyard bullying tactics of the 20th century. In short, this nation needs to grow up. Fortunately for us, there’s a generation of voters coming up that have the good sense to see these types of issues for what they really are – a vapid attemp to hold onto outdated puritanistic laws that serve no beneficial purpose except to propogate hatred.
posted November 19, 2010 at 3:25 pm
ichthusthree,
“i have never heard of a heterosexual pride day … have you?)”
Yup. Many of them. They’re called: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
You betterosexuals get to parade/flaunt your sexuality with every picture of your spouse on your desk at work, with every wedding ring you wear, with every time you can walk down the street and hold hands with the one you love, with every time you can kiss in public and not fear getting mugged (or worse), with every person you pick up in a bar and take home, with every drunken Las Vegas Elvis impersonator wedding that is totally and unquestioningly “accepted” by your government, with every time you cross a border and your legal relationship is recognized.
Et cetera.
With every breath you take, your particular chosen sexual preference is publicized for all the world to see and hear.
posted December 3, 2010 at 7:49 am
Thanks for this great article