Ouch! Oh how deeply the words of our daughters wound us to our very soul! That’s a quote from a mother-teenage daughter review of a new British movie by the director of “Bend it Like Beckham” called “Angus, Thongs And Perfect Snogging.” It’s the story of a a boy-crazed teenager who has to contend with the embarrassment her clueless mother causes her.
The movie resonated with the mom who reviewed it, she realized that she was just as clueless as the mom in the movie. She thought she was such a cool mom but as she watched the relationship between the mom and her daughter it dawned on her that this could have been a home movie. She knew that her relationship with her daughter was being played out on the screen which was confirmed by her daughter’s review of the movie. Both reviewer and character were embarrassed by the actions of their mother. Everything the poor women did embarrassed their daughters, even kissing their husbands!
As I read the review I thought of yesterday when I went to the gym with Samantha. We were walking on the treadmill next to each other, she said something to me and then I replied but she couldn’t hear me. So, I raised my voice so that she could hear me over her iPod. She looked at me as if I’d spit in public and said, “You’re too loud!” and I replied, “Well, I had to shout over the iPod to be heard!” Of course this elicited an “Oh! You are so embarrassing!” As we were returning home we got into an argument and it turned out that I embarrassed her by shouting when there were cute boys in the gym. This from my twelve-year-old.
I guess it’s probably a waste of time trying to teach my daughters that the opinion of some guy in the gym isn’t really worth that much and that they shouldn’t spend their lives so focused on what other people think. I could beat my head against the wall encouraging them to make choices based on their own preferences, not what others perceive as cool or acceptable but I don’t think it’s sinking in. Too bad! They may have realized much sooner that it’s more fun to set your own path then follow after what everyone else is doing. You try to help them circumvent some of the angst in growing up but they simply won’t let you.
Of course none of this is surprising. Weren’t we embarrassed by our moms?
ESV Ecclesiastes 1:9 What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun.
posted August 2, 2008 at 12:27 pm
I’m still at the point where my young kids embarrass me … especially the time the three-year-old cursed in a Christian bookstore. Of course, you know from whom he learned the word, but there’s a time and a place. Ecc. 3:1
posted August 2, 2008 at 1:02 pm
I thought it was the job of parents to humiliate and embarrass their daughters in public, you mean it isn’t? I’ve been doing that for thirty-five years. My son has embarrassed me with clever, cutting and humorous comments at key moments all his life. Daughters just take life to seriously. They need to be embarrassed once in a while to teach them to not take life serious.
posted August 2, 2008 at 3:46 pm
I think the elderly spend a lot more time humoring children than the other way around – you just are so self-focused and ignorant in youth you don’t recognize it.
posted August 3, 2008 at 8:49 am
Just thank God for the relationships you have! My parents are gone, and I am single. My relatives are mostly Roman Catholic and our ways as Evangelicals are foreign to them. It seems as if my main relationships are with my cat, and perhaps with a Christian counselor.
posted August 3, 2008 at 10:35 am
I was blessed with a daughter who was never embarassed to be around her parents even in her early teen years. She has always been very independent and unconcerned about what others think of her. She is almost 20 now and a wonderful, mature, loving young woman who isn’t ashamed of her beliefs or her family. I am, however, continually embarassed by the behaviour of my 74 year old mother and avoid going out in public with her if at all possible.
posted August 3, 2008 at 10:37 am
I am thankful for my relationship with my daughters, they’ve taught me a lot.