I saw this on another blog and I thought of you, Michelle.
“I began to take another look at my commitment to the both the far right of Republican Party and the Religious Right. I came to realize that I was in bed with a group of people who were profoundly anti-American. They were professional haters. They wrapped themselves in the flag and “loved America,” but it was an America in their imaginations only and cast in their image: white, middle-class, straight, born-again, homophobic and tinged with racism, not to mention misogyny.”

And they like to drink blood, too.

No, you silly papist Her Name. Michelle does not believe in transubstantiation and advocates the disemboweling, hanging, burning, and quartering, not necessarily in that order, of those who do. Unless you are saying Michelle is a vampire. Then that seems possible.

Let’s show Michelle more respect. Here she is publicly confessing her lust for Joss Whedon. Lust is a cardinal sin, and this post gives honor to Lord Lucifer. Praise Lord Lucifer! And bless Michelle for her public sin.

What would be perfect would be a move casting Jesus as an eternal vampire, infecting those believers in transubstantiation who lust for his blood. Only the Reformed Christians could save the world by their knowledge that the emblems are only symbolic, and in the end they hang, disembowel, quarter, and burn the heretic Papists. That would be a blockbuster!!

Here’s an even better plot. The Judaeo-Christian god is really Nosferatu the vampire. The movie reveals that Nosferatu has a special power, the ability to bite a virgin woman and cause her to become pregnant with a super-vampire whose body and blood can masquerade as bread and wine, waiting to infect the foolish. Christian missionaries unwittingly carry the seed of Nosferatu around the world, until finally the evil movement is stopped in New Jersey after intervention by space aliens.

Ooh. Ooh. In the opening, Nosferatu creates Adam and Eve in his genetic engineering lab, programming them with a sense of sin and guilt so they will always be willing for him to drink their blood. When a meteor interferes with humans’ genetic programming so they begin to think for themselves, Nosferatu infects the virgin Mary to create the Vampire Jesus!

No, no. The movie opens on the Westminster campus. Students who question their professors are found with their brains missing in their rooms, in the library, on the walks. They have been eaten by zombies. Who are these zombies? They have reaction to bread and wine not blessed by a priest in apostolic succession. Christians who eat the blessed wine and bread merely become food for Nosferatu and his Jesus vampires. Christians who eat tainted eucharist become zombies. In the end, Nicholas Cage comes down in a flying saucer and kills both the Jesus vampires and the Calvinist zombies.

OK. Just make it historical. B. B. Warfield pens pronouncements about the Bible, and swims naked with the first Boy Scouts. He is also the modern manifestation of Nosferatu. Then we have a blockbuster.

In His Name, Karen and Rolf, I will definitely be seeing your movie creation. In just 4 comments you all gave birth to an original movie idea that could possibly be great. Ha Ha! Nice work people, Hollywood writers don’t stand a chance against you. Damn big wig movie execs will probably try to steel your idea. Greedy thieves! Don’t worry, I’ll stand as witness.