A Simple Life, a Childlike Faith

On Saturday, several people who have not attended Special Gathering for almost a year came back.  I could tell from the expressions on their faces and from the look in their eyes that they completely enjoyed their time with us.  My questions when they left was “Will they come back?”

Scout is a man with a brain injury and severe short-term memory.  He is enthused about the way we allow him to take a leadership position.  Recently, he was moved from his group home to an independent apartment.  However, he can only come when a staff person from his former group home decides to pick him up from his apartment.  Because of his short-term-memory disability, he cannot keep track of the day of the week.  Even though he loves the worship experience and his time at Special Gathering, each week is a new experience for him.  Therefore, he doesn’t remember from one Saturday to the next what has happened.

There is no doubt that Scout is growing in the Lord.  Yet, keeping him focused is a concern for him and for Special Gathering staff.

Babs is a high functioning, middle-aged woman who also lives in her own apartment.  She lives with a young woman who feels that Special Gathering is too structured and “religious” for her.  Her housemate influences her.  Babs is normally a sad person.  I haven’t seen her smile in almost a year.  On Saturday , she was smiling the entire time she was at the chapel program.  While she didn’t want to enjoy her time with us, it was as though she had come home and her face showed it.

At times, people within the mentally challenged community struggle with the same issues that folks without a disability struggle.  For Scott, it is remembering and trying to fit Special Gathering into his schedule.  Babs struggles to sort through her emotions regarding her relationship with the Lord.

Our struggle is helping the men and women who are face these issue to remember that their peace and joy comes from worshiping and loving the Lord.  The longer I minister to folks with intellectual disabilities, the more I realize how close their needs and desires are to each of us.  What are some of the things that you stuggle to overcome in your relationship with the Lord?  What have you found that works to keep your relationship vibrant?

Today is not a day I will remember.  I got up at my usual 4:30am.  After my prayer time, I went into the kitchen to start a pot of decaf but instead, I had a text message from my son.  I sat down on the couch to answer the message.  After I pressed send, I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

The rest of the morning is a bit of a fog.  I woke up a bit before 9AM to the sound of cable news.  Sometime during those four hours, I’d turned on the TV and fallen back asleep.

Perhaps this is a good thing that I’m having a forgettable day because the last three days were pretty significant.  In fact, I was so excited about the happenings of Friday, Saturday and Sunday that I awakened at 1AM each day and I couldn’t seem to get my mind to stop revolving and rehearsing the events of the coming weekend.

To others, there may not be much significance regarding what happened.  I was directing one of the Special Gathering choirs on Saturday and again on Sunday.  The Special Gathering is a ministry within the intellectually disabled community.  Our mission is evangelism and discipleship.  I’ve been a choir director for a Special Gathering choir for about 22 years now; and I’ve not lost the joy of experiencing their performances.  In addition, they share my excitement about being given the privilege to minister and sing for the Lord.

In contrast, last night, I watched an extremely painful interview with Whitney Houston by Oprah Winfrey.  The painful thing was that Ms. Houston had lost the joy of singing.  Again and again, Oprah tried to pull from her some recognition of sorrow for having lost the opportunity to sing for almost 10 years.  But the only response from this extremely gifted woman was “I had all I needed.  I didn’t need money.  I had everything.  I didn’t need to sing anymore.”

Of course, Ms. Houston wasn’t singing for the Lord and that may have made a difference.  Nevertheless, I could not help but compare the joy The Special Gathering choir has in worship and ministry to this sad woman who “had everything.”

To be honest with you, The Special Gathering choirs are “better felt, than telt.”  Some of the choir members would even be put into the category of  Tone Deaf.  Yet what they lack in talent, they make up with joy and excitement to be serving the Lord.

Forgettable days should happen on occasion and I’m glad that for me it means a day of rest.  But to lose the joy of a new day would be sad beyond imagination for me.

What are the things that give you the most joy in your life?  Are forgettable days times of rest for you?

One year ago today, my husband came home from the skilled nursing center to die.  While I often say that I don’t live in denial, I had no idea that three months later, he would be dead.  For about a week, the nursing center had been telling me that I could not take care of him if I took him home; but I knew that I would not do heroics regarding his care.  Additionally, he greatly desired to come home.  I had been preparing financially for his care for years and we were ready to take on this monetary responsibility.

For two decades, I’ve observed families living with people who have disabilities and I’ve learned a great deal from their wisdom and mistakes.  Yet, I was struck a month later when I realized that my husband’s Hospice diagnoses had changed from “late-term dementia” to “adult failure to thrive.”  Simply speaking, this means that my husband was in the dying process.

As I remember the day he came home, so many things flood my mind.  Here are some things I learned.

1. He was constantly falling in and out of reality.  It became my job to remind him where he was and who was taking care of him which greatly relieved his anxiety.  As each caregiver entered his room, I tried to reintroduce them.  ”Frank, Terry is here.  Remember she is here to take care of you today while I’m going to work.”  
2. I learned to leave him alone because that was his desire.  Additionally, he was no long about to respond.  I had no idea how much he understood; and I was concerned that when there were distractions he knew more about his atmosphere than we thought.
3. He slept most of the day; and he no longer wanted the TV set playing.  Frank had always wanted the TV on constantly.  Now it disturbed him.  This was my cue that he no longer needed or desired distractions.
4. I’d been critical of the nursing care staff who would not get him up each day.  However, when he came home, I realized how weak he was.  The first day, I got him up early.  He sat up for several hours.  It was clear that he was totally exhausted beyond anything I’d experienced from him.  The next day, I got him up.  Again, he sat up for several hours.  As I took off his feet props from his wheelchair, I turned to put them out-of-the-way.  When I pivoted back, he had slipped and was falling out of his chair.  I realized how weak he was.  This was his last day to get up.
5. I realized that his great strength could only keep him alive for so long.  I felt that he would continue to live for many more years because he was the strongest person I’d ever met.  However, operations, pain and bone cancer had stolen his ability to fight.
6. I learned that I must be firm with his support staff, especially the doctors and nurses.  I had assumed that they would keep me informed.  Yet, when I was told that my husband had bone cancer, this information had been kept from me for several months.  Additionally, I had not been told that he was in the dying process.  When I realized his condition, I made an appointment with the nurse and told her that I could take any information given to me.  I would not tolerate not being told my husband’s status.  From that time, everyone was aware that I needed to be informed.  However, I had to be emphatic about my need to know.

I am extremely grateful for the lesson I’ve learned from the disability community and the heroic family members who have walked “through the valley of death” for years.  Again, they have taught me more than I could ever teach them.

I often think about the positive changes that have happened in the lives of the people I know–especially the members of Special Gathering, which is ministry within the mentally challenged community.

 Shelley has become a young woman who is caring and compassionate to others.  In the past, John used his leadership skill to bully people attempting to get his way.  Now, his spirit has become tender and pliable. His one desire is to please the Lord.  Richard was in the hospital for two months and missed getting his offering envelops that are handed out at the beginning of the year.  He obsessed that he could not give his offering to the Lord because he had run out of envelops.

It is a fact.  When we have Jesus, he helps us to change in good ways.  In Matthew 5:16,  Jesus tells us, “In the same way, you should be a light for other people. Live so that they will see the good things you do and will praise your Father in heaven.”

We all know the story of Zacchaeus.  He a short man who wanted to see Jesus who was coming to his community.  Zacchaeus climbed into a tree to be able to see over the crowd.  When Jesus got to the tree, he looked up and told Zacchaeus to come down because Jesus was going to his house to eat.  After that encounter, Zacchaeus became a follower of Jesus.

We know that Zacchaeus became a follower because he changed.  Zacchaeus said that he would give half of what he had to the poor and pay back four times if he had cheated someone.

When we repent of the bad things in our lives, God makes changes.  For many years, I would do all my laundry on Monday–an all day process.   I would do my husband’s laundry last to insure that all the REST of the laundry would get done.  I felt putting his clothes last insured that I completed the laundry.

However, every Tuesday, I would get up for my prayer time.  Sometime into my prayer I would remember that I had not put his laundry in the dryer. It was still wet in the machine.

I would rush to try to find him a clean underwear or frantically try to dry one pair.  One day, I was so frustrated with myself that I prayed, “Lord, I repent.  I can’t seem to do this task right.  Please, help me solved this problem.”  Immediately, the thought came into my mind to do Frank’s laundry first–not last.

That day I repented and changed my behavior.  Frank always had underwear after that.  I call this example of drastic change, Underwear Repentance.

I also learned that when I burning the peas (or the beans or an entire meal) I should not make excuses.  When I faced my responsibility and took the blame for my mistake, something wonderful happened.  I quit burning the peas so often.

Gossip was a problem in my life.  I hated to admit it but when I did, Jesus started changing my talk.

I had to confess that I loved gossip. But I knew  God hates it.  Through some hurting times and through the positive example of others, I came to see how it looks to God and why He hates it.

Zacchaeus gives us an important principle to live by.  He wanted God to be in his life; and he changed.  Change shows people that we are God‘s children.  As Christians, we must act differently from the rest of the world.  That can be almost impossible but God works with us to make those changes.