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Ten Things Every Dad Should Tell His Son
The story is told of a mine worker in Ireland during the great potato famine of 1847. He brought his lunch each day to work; but he ate alone. Stealing away from his coworkers, he would then open his lunch pail.
The other workers burned with curiosity wondering why he was hiding his lunch. They assumed that he had some delicious morsels that he refused to share. Finally, they could stand the suspense no longer. Someone opened his lunch pail to find that it was full of potato peels. While his children were given the potatoes for their lunches, he took the peels.
His great sacrifice was actually assuring him that he would get most of the vitamins and minerals that are contained in the potato. Not understanding what science has revealed to us in recent years, this father was enriching himself–rather than his children–with his sacrificial giving.
While we have no idea whether this story is true or not, it doesn’t really matter. Almost every child could tell a similar story of their parents’ sacrificial giving to benefit his or her childhood. The principles of self-sacrifice have shown that when we put others above ourselves, we are the ones who benefit the most. Jesus said in Luke 6:38 (NIV), “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
And these are the principles that have hallmarked the growth and success of Christ’s teachings. I’ve worked within the cloistered sub-culture of the mentally challenged (developmentally disabled) community as an area director with The Special Gathering for more than 20 years. I see parents who give with amazing sacrificial love.
Though her Master’s degree is in education, Margie gave up her career to take care of her two autistic sons who are both housebound. The only breaks she gets are in the morning when the state provides caregivers who bathe them or when her husband can break away from his busy career to relieve her.
Jim was born with the cord wrapped around his neck. The medical doctors believed that the damage was so severe that he would never be able to function or do anything for himself. Their prognosis was that he would be a vegetable for all his life.
A successful NASA engineer, Bob and his wife took their son home against the advice of the doctors. “He’s our son; and we will take care of him,” they announced. As a result, their son holds down a job, bowls and goes to the Rec Department dances every week. He has a girl friend and lives with his friends in a group home. Most of all, he loves Jesus with all his heart. He is a dynamic witness for his Lord through the love he pours into the lives of others.
In God’s economy no potato sacrifice is wasted. Bob and his wife now say that the worse thing that ever happened to their family was when their son was born mentally challenged. However, they conclude by saying that the best thing that has ever happened to them and their family was when their son was born mentally challenged.
What about you? What are some of the sacrifices you have made that have benefited your life? What are some of the potato sacrifices that you have seen in other people’s lives that have inspired you to reach out to others in sacrificial love?
posted April 18, 2011 at 12:41 pm
I’m a grandmother and great grandmother who has found herself in her early sixties being mother again to her ganddaughter. She is now at a home for troubled children due to the first 5 years of her life with drug and alcoholic addicted parents. She came to me in June of 2006. She was admitted to the home last February 2, 2011.
In her first 4 years with me her anger and malcontent were manifested in throwing food, temper tantrums, kicking, hitting and screaming. She grew slowly better with a year of therapy then worse when her father was forced to leave our home in January 2010.
Last summer she began to attempt to hurt herself with scratching her arms with tooth picks. Then it graduated to cutting herself. She went from taking her anger out on me to hurting herself.
I traded my 2005 Subaru for a heap of junk that I pray will stay together one more day until the Hands Of The Carpenter can finally reach me on their list of needing people. Gas prices have gone up to almost twice what they were when she was admtted yet I see her after I talk to her therapist every Friday and I pick her up on Sunday after church to spend the afternoon with me and have dinner.
She will be returning to our home, hopefully, in June. Again I pray that I can keep our home so she has a familiar home to come home to. I had moved back to Colorado, my home, in Aoril 2006 after my husband died very suddenly in September 2004. I bought this home on the contention that my son would help with the expenses and I would help with his daughter.
Now for the last year and a half I’ve found myself broke and praying every day for a miracle. Yet, I’ve found somehow at the very last moment God has found a way for us to survive. He gave her to me and I have now found He, even if it is at the last moment and in the most unusual ways, has seen fit to give me a way to pay the massive credit card debt I built up trying to keep us together, the mortgage and enough food for us to get by. God truly is a mircle worker. God Bless.
posted April 18, 2011 at 4:15 pm
Thank you, Annette for your comment. Your last sentences show that God has put your precious granddaughter with a woman of faith. My good friend, Woody, would say, “God is the God of 11:59 when the deadline is midnight.” He is always on time but seldom early. Thank you, again. I will be praying for you and your granddaughter.
posted April 17, 2011 at 10:44 pm
I am posting with tears rolling down my face. I know what personal sacrifice is, caring for someone who is totally dependent on me for his care. And this is someone that I love dearly.
Sometimes humanly, I get tired, so tired. But the Lord has strengthen me so many times. Each time I pray, I ask the Lord that if my sacrifices are pleasing to Him, and if I am to be be blessed at all, to add these blessings to my friend’s life – not to mine. Make each day for him a better day than the one before.
posted April 17, 2011 at 11:18 pm
Thank you, Annie. As you enrich the life of this dear one, God will strengthen you. You have encouraged and enriched me with your comment. I know your love continues to enrich your friend’s life.
posted April 17, 2011 at 7:53 am
Our life in religion is often a paradox because in reality the church so often fails those who need her the most… More than seeing God as an opportunity, we often use Him as a cop-out for our selfishness and unwillingness (or inability) to walk the hard steps of Jesus. It’s my experience cute, one-note stories perpetuate this disconnect.
On this journey of surrender and work-driven faith (faith without works is dead), the Atheistic moments have come and gone. This walk is in an often lonesome valley (not too much unlike Jesus’ human lot). In a life-altering way it has transplanted me to spiritual ground and given me a heart more acceptable of revelations and acceptance.
Linda, we all have hard places and I don’t imagine for one minute watching over your husband with terminal illness is a cakewalk. Yes, the Holy Spirit will keep you through these difficult days… they will pass. You will grieve for a while and then one morning a new morning will greet you. For this time of grief, I hope and pray you are surrounded by love and supportive people…
posted April 17, 2011 at 2:40 pm
Deerfree, it is obvious that you are allowing God’s good work to transform you in the middle of your trials. Often, it is true that The Church has not known what to do with the developmentally disabled population–or the trauma and trials that have become your daily walk. But I’m convinced it is not because The Church does not care but she does not know WHAT to do or HOW to do it.
The Lord has been gracious to my husband and me; and it is through our friends and family that I see him working in our lives. Thank you for your comment.
posted April 16, 2011 at 5:34 am
This is a nice story, cute and refreshing. However, there is nothing simple about walking away from one’s life to care for a disabled child. It is hard and not all children grow up to live adult-like lives.
The daily stress breaks down many marriages; it is often a life of perpetual hospital stays and endless doctor visits; far too many churches don’t recognize or serve the needs of parents who are caregivers to chronically ill children; it is a life of isolation in many instances … and sometimes, no matter how hard you try to make time for yourself, you simply can’t find the time to visit your own doctor… Then, one day you are in the emergency room with a stress-related heart ailment. As a mother who sacrifices still and have for over two decades lovingly cared for a chronically ill and disabled child, this is not a simple life.
Yes, God provides in the most difficult situations. However, this is not a simple life to live.
posted April 16, 2011 at 10:57 am
Thank you so much for your passionate, real life reaction. I did not mean that your life, as a parent, is simple. It is not. However, if you read that I was saying that YOUR life is simple, then others may read the same thing. You brought a needed, eloquent balance to this entry. Be patient and continue to read. This entry was presenting a tiny bite from the very large pie that is your life. I hope you will challenge me and present the other side. Our life in Christ is often a paradox. There are almost always two sides to the situations we face in life.
Additionally, I’m not a parent, though I am the sole caregiver for my terminally-ill husband. I cannot and will not attempt to present the full picture of a parent. My goal is to present a realistic but loving picture of people with developmental disabilities because we are a population that the church often ignores or misunderstands.
Again, thank you for sharing your heart.
posted April 15, 2011 at 4:50 pm
Diane, thanks for the comment. You sound as though you are speaking from experience. I’ll be praying for you as you work toward blogging each day. Thanks again.
posted April 15, 2011 at 1:11 pm
A wonderful lesson in life. God always has a way of bringing good from the things we find most devastating. Look forward to blogging along side of you some day soon. I’m one of Rob’s new bloggers.