American evangelicals revere Tim Tebow. They can’t resist a player with Bible verses on his eyeblack.

Born to missionaries, Tim homeschooled his way to win the Heisman trophy and a dozen Player of the Year awards. In American Christian culture (especially the south), it’s roughly the equivalent of being the reincarnated Dalai Lama.

I’m sure Paul was talking about football in that letter to the Philippians:

Even Nike bows down.