Not all people who do this are Christians, but 93% of them are. The remaining 7% are rogue non-Christians who are unabashed corndogs.
If you are fortunate enough to have Facebook friends who do this, you know it often begins with the wife praising her husband in her status. Once she’s posted it’s only a matter of time before the freshly lauded husband reciprocates using his status. Other times the husband commits Facebook PDA completely unprovoked by a glowing review. When you see this you can’t help but wonder if he did something dastardly and is trying to get out of the doghouse.
Couples who do this don’t think that their Facebook PDA could possibly violate the intimacy of their marriage or nauseate innocent bystanders. They believe they are blessing everyone by sharing their joy. If you are part of a PDA couple who is unfortunate enough to have nauseous Facebook friends, those friends may think your need for people to be jealous of you is stronger than your marriage.
Married people who are not Christians generally don’t engage in cyber foreplay. Christian culture might counter that this is because Christians have better marriages, but the divorce rate in the church would not support that hypothesis.
posted September 24, 2010 at 6:45 pm
Those are even more nauseating than the status update I did for my wife last night when I “borrowed” her phone and said, “Is it weird that my husband wants to eat rice off my chest?”
posted September 24, 2010 at 6:47 pm
*snerks* at “Mike Hunt”. (Yeah, I may be 30 now, but inside I’m still seventeen or eighteen.)
CAPTCHA: Excellency dulaxon (“Dulaxon” sounds like something from Star Trek.)
posted September 24, 2010 at 6:48 pm
When it comes to Christians and FB don’t forget the couples who believe in such a degree of transparency or togetherness that they share the same Facebook account using often confusing names.
posted September 24, 2010 at 6:54 pm
Timoth: done. http://blog.beliefnet.com/stuffchristianculturelikes/2010/05/155-sharing-a-facebook-account.html
posted September 24, 2010 at 6:57 pm
Barf. That’s what I always want to reply to their status updates with.
And I believe that 93% of the couples that do this are not actually trying to bless people with their joy (though that’s the excuse they give) but rubbing it in everyone’s faces that they’re happy (showing off) while trying to convince themselves they are happy.
posted September 24, 2010 at 7:21 pm
This is why Paul didn’t want women to have their own facebook accounts. It’s cause he was single and peter’s wife’s updates caused him to stumble.
posted September 24, 2010 at 7:38 pm
I agree Ben. She was truly the thorn in his fleshbook.
posted September 24, 2010 at 8:01 pm
Dammit Stephanie! I hate it when I can’t spell my own name and then realize that you already stole my thunder!
Interesting, my captcha has 3:16 in it!
posted September 24, 2010 at 8:04 pm
LOL, Ben and Sean!
Shelly, I snerked at “Mike Hunt” too.
Does it ever make anyone scratch their heads when the PDA couple in question is composed of two really boring people?
posted September 24, 2010 at 8:58 pm
LOL! So true.
posted September 24, 2010 at 9:42 pm
I have this fb friend I don’t actually know (I think he went to my high school) and he and his wife have the most nauseous status updates.
husband: had a good long chat with my wife,, havn’t had that in awhile
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you youy youy youy you you you you
wife: i love you more
husband: no i love you more,,, i love you so much i still giggle inside when i say it or think it out loud
wife: Awwwwwww. That is so sweet. Ur such a great hubby. U still give me butterflies baby.
ewwww
posted September 24, 2010 at 10:21 pm
in the 80s i knew non-CC people who did stuff like this – making answering machine messages together…
it was bad then. its bad now.
posted September 24, 2010 at 11:31 pm
Ben & Sean: I hate it when I snort-laugh. Cut it out!
(I would type my captcha, but I’m not sure it’s clean.)
posted September 25, 2010 at 2:11 am
I honestly think part of this is the insane desire for attention. People have trained themselves to think everyone wants to know every detail of their lives. Or at least, they’ve begun to desire affirmation so much that they need opinions or responses to every mundane thought and every personal dialogue. It’s repulsive as a whole. However, the PDA makes it 10 times worse. Those are the things that make me want to delete my account. I think we should go back to when people had real community with those they lived near and it took awhile to get messages to those who weren’t in proximity. Real community people. In person. It’s way cooler than facebook. Like, hey, go in the next room and say to your wife’s face how much you love her or how sorry you are for cheating. Just don’t tell me about it.
posted September 25, 2010 at 2:41 am
I don’t have any facebook friends like this. Where do I get one? Perhaps it’s good that I don’t, since I often check Facebook over breakfast or lunch. Not sure my stomach could handle the PDAs.
I do have friends who “like” overtly Christian tags, and some who do the “please post this as your status” things. Those are usually some kind of Christian manifesto. Or something like that.
I’ve only done one copy and paste status ever. It made me laugh so hard I had to copy it.
posted September 25, 2010 at 7:32 am
hahaha I know a few people who do this and it’s sooo true that it’s a Christian culture this.
You know what you should do a post on? Emails that have a bunch of cheezy pictures and sayings about Jesus and then are like “Jesus said, if you are ashamed of me I will be ashamed of you. If this was a funny email you’d forward it to all your friends. Prove to God that you’re not ashamed by sending this to at least 15 people.” Blech. I NEVER forward those!
posted September 25, 2010 at 8:58 am
Certainly. I agree with told all above. We can communicate on this theme.
It agree, this amusing opinion
posted September 26, 2010 at 7:59 am
Another reason I’m off of Face-Book. It’s just more narcissistic, self-indulgent nauseating B.S. It’s sort of cyber “menage a trois” except that about a thousand people are now part of the pile.
posted September 27, 2010 at 11:20 am
I’ve noticed that people who are publically “so so so darn happy!!” are trying to convince themselves by convincing everyone around them. They are the ones that never surprise me when they split.
The emails that must be forwarded, whether overtly Christian glurge or faux-patriotism, just push me over the edge. The barely unspoken message is “You’re Only a Good _______ [Christian, American, Woman, etc.] If You Think JUST LIKE ME”. Thanks, but no thanks — I’d rather not play on your team.
posted September 27, 2010 at 11:25 am
People post things like that because FB really is a way to present to the world the life you wish you had. I would assume that some of the “my hubby is so great, I am so blessed” posts are, in fact, a result of wishful thinking or outright delusion. And I agree that these posts are annoying. But consider a wife, immersed in Christian culture, who really is appreciative of her (deserving) husband. She will express that appreciation in the language she hears in church or Bible Study — “my warrior,” “the one my Father chose for me.” So what? This type of language sounds hokey to me, but “nonattachment” probably sounds weird to the Baptists.
posted September 27, 2010 at 4:17 pm
It’s the same for kids as well. A Christian couple who have just had a child always goes on about that “little blessing” in their lives.
posted September 27, 2010 at 5:31 pm
So what. I don’t know why we focus so much on what other people put on their status updates. If someone chooses to be all Pollyanna about their husband, their children, and their life, who cares? I wouldn’t want to make these kinds of status updates myself but I could care less what anyone else does. It seems like a serious waste of time and energy to focus on something so harmless. Move on.
posted September 27, 2010 at 10:33 pm
First off, way to make a personal stand “anonymous”
Second off, this blog is all about the little quirks and cliches of Christian Culture that a lot of us find annoying or funny, and sometimes both. I don’t think it’s Stephy’s job to tackle the huge, fundamental problems with Christian Culture or she’d run for president, or something similar to that, I suppose.
Third, if this post was a waste of time then isn’t your response to this post a waste of time and if so, isn’t me reading it and responding to it also a waste of time? I’m going to stop typing now before my head explodes
posted September 30, 2010 at 3:30 pm
my little sis thinks that we should have a post on here about “PDA with God via Facebook status”!
posted October 1, 2010 at 9:34 am
Your Name Sucks,
And in my church, no parents yammer more about their little blessing from God than the couple with the Down’s Syndrome kid.
It’s like, who ya trying to convince, us or yourselves?
posted October 4, 2010 at 9:27 am
I am embarrassed and nauseated when we get a daily update of the upcoming hot date weekend plans:
“Hubby and i are making plans to be home alone all weekend”
” Kids are packing up to go to grandmas for the whole weekend”
” my hubby is so hot and we are going to have tons of fun this weekend alone without kids”
” I have the most awesome hot plans with my hot hubby this weekend..CANT WAIT!!!”
” Kids are GONE and now hubby and i can start our hot date plans”
“WOW.hubby is SO AWESOME!!!
Somehow it has to be akin to soft porn!!!!
BLEH!!!
I have to often hit ignore just to get through the weekend with horrible visuals!!!!
posted October 15, 2010 at 9:46 am
Thank you so much for making light of this. I have a love/hate relationship with FB because it’s great to stay connected and share pictures, etc, but it has also become a forum for passive agressive comments and people wishing to convince the world that they are the perfect Christian couple. In my experience, people showing FB PDA are often, like others have said, trying to convince others, and perhaps themselves, of how perfect their lives are. If everyone believes everything is perfect and the couple is happy, then no one has any reason to question or pry, and the happy couple can push all the dirt under the rug and keep on pretending. I’ve often had a hard time, as a Christian, in dealing with my feelings on those types of posts. I want to be happy for them, and thank God that they are a solid, happy couple, but at the same time, I keep thinking “oh shut up, no one’s life is that great!” I am glad that I’m not alone in wanting to respond with “barf!”
posted February 10, 2011 at 1:37 am
Haha, great post! I am a christian and married, but I never post mushy stuff on FBook. It just seems wrong in general whether you are christian or not so gush about your significant other online. Why not just tell them personally? I never understood that.
posted February 25, 2011 at 8:08 pm
Just found this – I actually have one friend who writes such mushy stuff that I believe she comments for her husband. Why do I believe that? Because I’ve talked to the guy, and he has told me he isn’t into Facebook. For a guy who isn’t into Facebook, he sure likes a lot of her statuses. Hmmm.