Do Ed Young's sex sermons speak to singles?

I so appreciate this post. My church does very little to address the lives of singles at all, because I think, it doesn't really know how. Marriage is rightly honored and the roles of husbands and wives discussed regularly, but the single life is difficult to address, particularly for young adults who have not yet married. I think they are viewed with suspicion by the church, because they may be (and probably are) having sex. It takes a brave person to discuss the sexual nature of people as separate from sexual activity and marriage, but is something we Christians desperately need to do. If we wonder why young adults are not excited about church, this may be a reason.

This is exactly the dilemma I encountered when I sat through a service at Mars Hill Church in Seattle - Mark Driscoll went on and on and on and and on about sexual sins and offering some rather explicit suggestions for what marrieds can do about these sins (have sex with each other a lot) but nothing for the singles except a cold shower.

I can't stand it when pastors preach on marriage or parenting during church services, as there are usually a lot of people in the congregation to whom these topics don't apply (e.g., kids, teenagers, and never-married and divorced singles). Why couldn't Pastor Young have held a seminar apart from the church service for those who were interested instead?

Also, Young's advice to singles, "try eating chocolate cake," is crass and insensitive. Given that he married at the age of 21, he obviously has no clue of what it is like to be single into one's late 20s, 30s, etc., having to fight nature and abstain for years on end (that is, if biblical teachings on premarital sex are adhered to). Many singles shy away from attending church because it is rightly perceived as being unfriendly to singles and too marriage- and kids-focused, and this comment only fuels the perception. And come to think of it, Young's whole sermon fueled the perception of churches' being obsessed with married couples at the expense of singles, not just the comment he made to the New York Times.

"Try eating chocolate cake" is a meaningless platitude, as is "singleness is a gift, equal to marriage", as Al Hsu tries to tell us. The only way to support singles who feel left out when sermons turn to sex and marriage is not only offer its hearty endorsement, but to work together in removing the obstacles to marriage that exist in churches today -- such as indifferent messages about marriage and singleness that prescribe a kind of studied indifference, as if it shouldn't matter to you which "gift" you get, and that if you are anything less than content, well, that's "making an idol out of marriage". Celibacy, a la Winner, is not supposed to be a consolation prize for the unchosen, and we need not risk offending those who have chosen that path with sermons on marriage. Read Candice Watter's articles on marriage at Boundless.com.