The Celebrity Therapist

Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of “The Law of Sobriety” which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. Please download your  free E books at  www.sherrygaba.com  Contact Sherry for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements. Listen to Sherry on “A Moment of Change with Sherry Gaba”on CBS Radio. Are you a Love Addict? Take Sherry’s quiz for a free eBook Filling the Empty Heart:  5 Keys to Transforming Love Addiction.  Sop Attracting Damaged Relationships – Get the Love You Truly Deserve! Free Coaching Session http://www.sherrygaba.com/offers/group

Everyone has heard the term “gateway drug”. In essence a gateway drug is a non-addictive drug or a socially acceptable drug that some researchers and addiction experts believe may prime the brain and the person to accept the use of harder, more addictive drugs in the future. Often when people start using these gateway drugs, which could include alcohol, they get a lot of personal rewards. They get attention, become more socially outgoing and meet new people. They feel better about themselves, however temporarily, and are positively reinforced.

However, there are different types of addictions besides the devastating alcohol and drug problems that so many people face on a daily basis. There are lots of addictions that are hidden and have no obvious symptoms or that may even be socially acceptable. These are the “soft addictions” like shopping, texting, pornography or even food. Given enough time do these so called soft addictions actually become gateway behaviors to creating more and more addictive behaviors?

Everyone can become addicted to something; it may just be something that is seen as healthy or positive. How many people do you know that are addicted to their job, addicted to working out, addicted to their kids or addicted to having the latest technology or gadget? These types of addictive behaviors may be ruining their lives, sense of self-worth and self-esteem in ways that are very similar to drug use, gambling or out of control alcohol consumption.

To understand if a behavior, even one that is positive, is addictive or may be a gateway to an addictive behavior consider the following:

1. How do you feel if you don’t do the behavior?

People that are addicted to a behavior/activity become extremely upset and irritated if it cannot happen. They may engage in negative self-talk or lash out at the people or situation that prevented it from occurring.

1. Do you become anxious or agitated if a change in plans prohibits you from doing the behavior?

Sometimes life happens. If you cannot deviate from your schedule or even skip that behavior or activity for one day you have a soft addiction. This is different than knowing, for example, that you need to make time to exercise. It is total inflexibility in adjusting life to your exercise schedule.

1. Is the behavior more important than my work, family, friends, personal commitments or living my life?

Would you turn down time with your family, a fun event or interacting with people you care about because you would feel better doing the activity or behavior? If this is the case it is definitely an addiction and not something that is just important to you.

Preventing these gateway behaviors from becoming serious addictions takes recognition of the problem. If you have concerns talk to an addiction specialist, coach or therapists and get back on track to living your life to the fullest.

People in recovery from an addiction are at a very vulnerable point in their life. Often they have difficulty in determining what they want and need to have in their life because they have lived so long without things that we take for granted. They are often swayed by what others say is right as opposed to taking a stand and being able to say “this is right for ME“.

One very harsh reality for many recovering addicts is that they have to learn that they cannot please everyone. Another key reality to face is that what works for your friend, your family member or even your spouse may not work for you. In my book, “The Law of Sobriety” I talk about a client I worked with by the name of Tanya. Tanya wanted to return to school to earn a degree, but she had a lot of fears. She knew there were advantages to graduating and she took on the task despite her concerns. The problem was she also wanted to keep doing all the things she was already doing that seemed to make her family and friends happy.

What Tanya couldn’t do is decide what was right for her to succeed. She mistakenly believed that she had to keep doing what everyone else thought was right. She ended up going to school, working, studying and not having time to take care of herself and manage her recovery plan. Missed meetings, stress and inability to stay on her plan sent her back into addiction.

You can take steps to do what is right for you during your recovery to avoid the same mistakes that Tanya made. By using these simple, effective strategies you can and will have short and long term success living the life that you want to have.

Tip 1: Develop a recovery plan – a coach, therapist or recovery counselor can help you create a personalized, unique and you-centered plan to deal with the issues in your path to sobriety.

Tip 2: Learn To Say “NO” – everyone needs to manage their lives so they have time for themselves, their careers, their families and the things that they enjoy. With addiction recovery you have even more on your plate to juggle so being able to say “no” or “not now” to additional tasks and responsibilities is an important step in allowing you the time that you need to focus in on you.

Tip 3: Cutting Corners Cuts Success – when you cut corners or try to do things only minimally your results will be minimal. In your recovery plan and in your life you need to do things completely so that you can maximize your success in all aspects of your life.

Using these techniques as well as getting professional coaching, counseling and recovery support is critical in learning to do the right thing for you on your path to sobriety.

Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of “The Law of Sobriety” which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. Please download your  free E books at  www.sherrygaba.com  Contact Sherry for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements. Listen to Sherry on “A Moment of Change with Sherry Gaba”on CBS Radio. Are you a Love Addict? Take Sherry’s quiz for a free eBook Filling the Empty Heart:  5 Keys to Transforming Love Addiction.  Sop Attracting Damaged Relationships – Get the Love You Truly Deserve! Free Coaching Session http://www.sherrygaba.com/offers/group

Stop Attracting Damaged Relationships – Get the Love You Truly Deserve!

Learn the Five Keys to Lasting Relationships

AND

FREE COACHING SESSION WITH CELEBRITY PSYCHOTHERAPIST SHERRY GABA!

Tuesday, September 25 at 6:00pm PST

In this call, you will learn the five keys to lasting relationships and why you may have continued to attract damaged love partners. You’ll also know whether or not YOU have a love addiction.

Click HERE to sign up!!!

There are a myriad of reasons why a person in recovery is not able to be successful in their change from an addict to a sober person. Some of these are obvious and are covered very effectively in addiction recovery programs. However, as I talk about in the book “The Law of Sobriety” there are some almost unspoken issues that catch people off guard during their recovery.

One of the most problematic issues for many addicts in recovery is trusting in their own ability to make the change. They may have outstanding support from family and friends as well as from counselors and coaches. They may even attend all the meetings, work with a sponsor and seem to have all the resources they need right there at their fingertips.

Yet, for some reason, they fail. The biggest reason that this happens, at least in my experience in the field, is that there are some people that are actually paralyzed with fear about recovery itself. They fear being sober and they fear what that means to their future. It is very common that this fear of the future is projected from bad experiences in their past. After all if you are afraid of your goal how hard are you really going to work to get there?

To help avoid self-sabotage from fear consider trying the following on your own or with a coach, sponsor or addiction recovery counselor.

1.    Face Your Fear

Instead of pretending that there is no fear and anxiety around your change admit it, name it and list it. Getting the fear out in the open is the first step in ridding it from your life.

2.    Reality Check

Most fears are not real; they are obstacles that our minds are creating to keep us in a zone of comfort and familiarity. By looking at the fear itself and seeing the positives that are on the other side of change the fear can be seen as a façade rather than a reality.

3.    Reframe The Fear

Once you know that the fear is not a reality but a “maybe this might happen” situation you can then start visualizing a positive outcome for the same situation. Giving yourself the power to see a positive rather than a fear clears the negativity and opens you up to seeing opportunity and success.

Once your goal is a positive and not a fearful negative, it is automatically within your grasp. This is not an easy process but with practice and support you can change your whole mental perspective on your recovery so success is the only option.

Sherry Gaba LCSW, Psychotherapist, Life & Recovery Coach is featured Celebrity Rehab on VH1. Sherry is the author of “The Law of Sobriety” which uses the law of attraction to recover from any addiction. Please download your  free E books at  www.sherrygaba.com  Contact Sherry for webinars, teleseminars, coaching packages and speaking engagements. Listen to Sherry on “A Moment of Change with Sherry Gaba”on CBS Radio. Are you a Love Addict? Take Sherry’s quiz for a free eBook Filling the Empty Heart:  5 Keys to Transforming Love Addiction.