Their Bad Mother

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Tuesday November 3, 2009

Categories: Blogging, Give Good Blog

The Power Of Ordinary People. With Laptops.

A few years ago, I had the amazing opportunity to chat with Gloria Steinem. Yes, that Gloria Steinem. We - she and I and some other bloggers - talked about the Internet and blogging and whether social media could change the world. It was a pivotal moment for me, because although I had been writing about feminism and social justice and the like from time to time - and although I had, once upon a time, actually written a thesis on the power of new media to effect change - I'd never given the question of whether what I was doing - little ol' me, blogging - could make a difference. She convinced me. And so I have, since then, devoted a considerable chunk of my blogging energies to social purpose.

I'm in Chicago this morning, speaking on this very subject. I'll be focusing my discussion, in part, on this ongoing project, but this is only one in a series of efforts that began with that chat with Gloria and the inspiration that spiraled out from there, so I thought that I might revisit - and continue to revisit, here - that journey. You know, to keep that inspiration going.

Here's where it started...



I'm not easy to impress.

That sounds pissy and arrogant, I know. But it's true. Celebrities don't impress me (which is not to say that I wouldn't shriek a little bit if I brushed sleeves with Josh Holloway, but that would be more because of his lickability than his impressive acting ability). I've encountered enough of them to know that they are usually shorter and uglier and far less pleasant in person than they appear onscreen. And in any case, the ability to stand in front of a camera and look surprised/scared/vague has never struck me as particularly impressive.

Sure, there are many talented and accomplished actors out there, as there are talented and accomplished musicians and athletes and comedians (um, Jon Stewart? Dave Chapelle?) and astrophysicists. Indeed, there are talented men and women in every field imaginable. But they are, still, just ordinary men and women and I'd need a bit more information about them before I could count myself well and truly impressed. Are they thoughtful? Intelligent? Passionate? Do they care about things other than themselves? Do they try to make a meaningful, considered difference in the world? (And no, driving a Prius doesn't count here.) Are they good people, in the most nuanced and comprehensive sense of that word?

(I should note that I make special exceptions for people who make extraordinary contributions to their field or to world history. Picasso was an ass, Hemingway killed things and Mother Teresa tended to excessive dogmatism - but to say that these individuals were merely impressive would be gross understatement.)

My sense is that the stock of impressiveness of most of the more famous people in the world wouldn't hold up under such interrogation. But (and I assure you that this is not shameless ass-kissing) many of you ­- my virtual peers and friends - would. Which is one of the reasons why I've become so committed to our little corner of the blogosphere: it's a space full of intelligent, literate people who love their children deeply and who are passionately committed to doing the best possible job raising those children and to doing what they can to make the world a better place for those children.

It's revolutionary, as some have already said. And it's impressive. You are impressive. Really impressive.

And you know what? Gloria Steinem thinks so, too.

She said so. On the telephone.

As part of an effort to promote a new media project (Greenstone Media: radio for women by women) that she is involved with, I was invited to participate in a conference call with Ms. Steinem and a handful of other bloggers. She said a number of amazing, insightful, and inspirational things (as one would expect from one of the founders of the contemporary feminist movement) - some of which I'll try to address in posts over the coming week or two - and she totally knocked my socks off and made me want to be a better feminist.
And by far the coolest thing that she said was this: that she saw the women (and many of the men) of the blogosphere as being at the forefront of a new kind of revolutionary movement. A movement wherein we really talk to one another, and listen to one another. A movement wherein the highest premium is placed on telling the truth, and deriving inspiration and power from the truth. A movement that we further with every post that we write, with every supportive comment that we leave, with every empowering conversation that we spark and fuel and fan to a blaze. Our movement.

But she also said this: never forget that such a movement, based as it is on dialogue and debate, can only ever be a support for action. It cannot replace action. Don't cocoon in your blogosphere, she said. Don't mistake speaking or writing for acting. Don't just talk: do.

So with that in mind, I have an assignment for you: write a post about a cause that you are passionate about. Provide links and information and guidance for people to actually follow up on your post and take some sort of action: where can they make a donation? Sign a petition? Volunteer? How can they help promote your cause? Use this post as a catalyst for action - make it your mission to show, in whatever small way, how the blogosphere can support real action in support of real causes. It doesn't have to be big - you don't have a start a fundraising drive from your blog (although that would be cool), you just need to make a stab at showing how writing/speaking/blogging can support action. If you have already promoted a cause through your blog, or do so on an ongoing basis (as I know may of you do), simply provide me with some relevant links and a description of what you've been up to in the comments. Ditto if you know of someone else with a cause: do a post or post a comment with links and info. Then, as always, I'll compile the posts, etc. etc. and we shall be a beacon of light, a chorus of voices - cue choir - and we will have Done Something and will be Doing Something in addition to All This Talk. And we'll be even more impressive.

And Gloria will be proud.

The result of this rah-rah Just DO Something rally? This wonderful avalanche of posts. Tomorrow, I'll talk about how the Steinem-inspired Call To Action led to more wonderful projects, and how this all coalesced into 'Giving Good Blog.'

PS: that 'Just Do/Write Something' blogging assignment was a few years ago, but if you're inspired by it, feel free to take it on. If you do, send me the link - I'd love to read it, and add you to my list of bloggers who 'give good blog.'



Tuesday September 8, 2009

Hard To Tell

I think that I might be having an existential breakdown. That, or I'm just exhausted and depressed after a month of dealing with the aftermath of my father's death. Or both.

I think both.

The death of my father rattled me in a way that I could never have expected. I knew, of course, that I'd be overwhelmed by grief - I've known this since I was a child, since I first began fearing the deaths of my parents - and I knew that I would be mourning both my father and the past. What I did not know was the extent to which this latter mourning - the mourning of my past, my childhood and girlhood and womanhood as his daughter, and his pasts, the pasts that I knew and the pasts that I didn't know, the pasts that I have been living and reliving this past month as I forged my way through decades of papers and mementos and photographs and memories, some know to me, some not - I did not know the extent to which this latter mourning would unsettle me.

Ordinarily, I write my way through sadness and conflict and crisis. But this time... I find that I cannot. Most days, I cannot. There are nights that I lay awake, narrating some portion of this story to myself, and deriving comfort from that narration, but when I sit down to type, the words don't come. They don't come, I think, because this feels, to me, like a story that no-one else could possibly understand, this story of a daughter obsessing over the life and death of her father and the spiritual crisis that this obsession provokes. And so I balk at sharing it.

I hope that I'll overcome this reluctance to share. That, or that I'll be able to push these concerns to one side and return to stories about bad motherhood.

In the meantime, I'm just so tired.

Thursday July 30, 2009

Categories: Being Bad, Blogging, Canada

Babies And Blogging And Bacon, Oh My

Oh, hey. Ever wondered what I sound like? No? Didn't think so. But on the off-chance that you have been dying to know whether I have a high, chirpy Meg Ryan voice, or a low throaty Kathleen Turner voice or whether I, like, totally, say ABOOT and yammer on about hockey and bacon, well, I have just the thing for you. Behold, my Pepsico interview from BlogHer, hosted by BlogTalkRadio. In which, yes, I might have said a thing or two about bacon:





I'm pretty sure that I also said a thing or two about parenting and writing and being Canadian, but yeah: BACON. There was a lot of talk about bacon. Which, I don't know. It seemed relevant at the time.





Monday July 27, 2009

Categories: Being Bad, Blogging, mamapop

Wordless Wednesday, Post-BlogHer Pre-Coffee Monday Edition


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I threw a party at BlogHer, and there was a unicorn. That is all.


Thursday July 23, 2009

Categories: Being Bad, Blogging

Are We Having Fun Yet?

So I'm somewhere in Michigan City, just outside of Chicago, and I have to say: although I wept more than few times yesterday, and although the coffee in this Super 8 motel is reason enough to weep further, I'm kind of enjoying myself.

Which, of course, I expected. Just not this soon. I had fully expected to remain more or less choked up through most of yesterday (which, yes, until a Chocolate Chip Cookie Molten Cake a la mode set me straight) and then to transition into full anxiety today. And while I did get choked up while texting with my husband this morning about the babies, and while I am experiencing the lower-gut rumbling tremors of imminent anxiety, I'm still having fun.

And it's just going to get better. MUCH better.

So if you see me at BlogHer looking panicked? Be sure to come up and remind me: THIS IS FUN. YOU'RE HAVING FUN.

And I'll do the same for you.

Wednesday July 22, 2009

Categories: Blogging, Fearlessness

(Nearly) Worldless Wednesday: BlogHer Flashback Edition

Me at my first BlogHer conference, in 2006. Yes, those are pasties. And a fake tattoo. Both of which make one look way more confident than one feels.(Which, yes: I am far less confident, far less outgoing, than I look....

Monday July 20, 2009

Categories: Blogging

Geeks Of A Feather Flock In The Corners

In two days, I'm traveling to Chicago for BlogHer. BlogHer is like Comic-Con, except with more women and babies and far fewer Trekkies. It vibrates at about the same geek frequency, though, which is something that too many people forget,...

Sunday June 14, 2009

Dear Kate Gosselin: Let Me Get Back To You On That Bad Mother Thing

So I wrote a post the other day, continuing my ruminations on Kate Gosselin and why she is  so judged and why that's a problem for me and for everyone, et cetera, but it was - as a few readers...

Monday June 8, 2009

Categories: Blogging, Emilia

In Which My Daughter Decides To Shun The Spotlight

Uh-oh.Let's do the math here: if my stock-in-trade is stories about and pictures of my kids, and one of those kids decides that she is JUST SO OVER having her picture taken, and we calculate that equation as x...

Tuesday May 12, 2009

Jennifer Garner And Me: Exploiter Moms?

Jennifer Garner has a problem with the paparazzi. I don't have a problem with the paparazzi, but then again, I'm not Jennifer Garner. But just because I'm not a major movie star and don't have paparazzi trailing me wherever I...

Thursday May 7, 2009

To All The Moms That Blog, And More (A Mother's Day Salute)

(If you haven't already, you can read Part I of this post here.)As I said yesterday, I came to blogging as Alice to a rabbit hole leading to Wonderland. All it took was one link to one mom-blog and I...

Thursday May 7, 2009

Me, The Mommy Blogger: An Odyssey In Two Parts

I began blogging almost accidentally. I had never planned to keep an online record of life with the baby that I referred to, on the blog, as WonderBaby; in the early weeks of our life together, I was pretty much...

Wednesday May 6, 2009

Categories: Being Bad, Blogging

Welcome To My Mother 'Hood

Three and a half years ago, I started a mommy-blog. I called it Her Bad Mother. Why I called it Her Bad Mother is a long story that I'll tell you about some other time, but my reasoning more or...

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About Their Bad Mother


Catherine Connors is a mother, writer and recovering academic who traded the lecture hall for the playroom and discovered that university students and preschoolers have much the same attention span. In addition to Bad Mother blogging at Beliefnet, she is, among other things, the author of HerBadMother.com, the moderator of Her Bad Mother’s Basement, the co-founder and co-editor of WeCovet, a contributing writer/editor at MamaPop and BlogHer, and most recently (deep breath) founder of and contributor to Canada Moms Blog. And in her spare time… oh, wait. She doesn’t have spare time. But she’s okay with that.


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