Rick Advises Pastors

3. Wear shirts that fit. Don't raid Ed Young, Jr.'s wardrobe. Please. Heck, put on a freakin' suit if you need to. And, if you like those tight shirts, lose weight.

17. Offer some snacks and coffee, but don't brag about it. Wow! You have Starbucks. I will now come to your church. I mean, you just saved me $2.00 per week. What a bargain. Conversely, if you have fair trade (and you should!), let us know. And, don't just offer fattening donuts. You are a church and gluttony is a sin.

21. If you actually value the place of women in your church, give them something to do besides greeter, nursery or back up singer. Your words betray you.

And last... stop trying to make your church seem so cool. It is not. It is church. Church does not equal cool. Your marketing should be honest, not an attempt to show how cool and "with it" you are. The more you try, the worse you look. Just tell us who you are and invite us along for the ride. I have seen too many churches trying to be cool and being inauthentic. If you are a suburb church, don't act like a city church. If you are all suburbanites, we will notice when you move your church into the city to be edgy and then drive home to suburbia. If you don't like poor people, justice and art do not fake it just to make us come to your church. You have turned important things into marketing points and propaganda. We notice when you are faking it, probably before you do.