Sex, Lies, and the Internet

I read the post of Rabbi Susan Grossman and all the comments with interest. I am an advocate for victims of rabbinic sexual misconduct and am actively working with several victims. I was a victim too and took my case to the CCAR. Of my experience with the Central Conference of American Rabbis (CCAR), the Committee on Ethic's and Appeals, chaired by Rabbi Rosalind Gold did a wonderful job with my case. They voted unanimously to censure my abuser, ordering him to undergo a complete psychological examination with therapy as appropriate. My abuser refused to go to a psychiatrist, appealed the censure and ultimately his friends on the Board of the CCAR reduced his censure to a letter of reprimand, that will sit in his file at the CCAR, unread by anyone. The letter of reprimand he was given protects no one. This is a "rabbi" who physically assaulted me when he discovered that I'd told another congregant, a friend of mine, what he'd done to me. This "rabbi", resigned from the shul where he abused me during the investigation of my case and started his own pastoral counseling practice, where he would have unlimited access to women - behind closed doors - with no supervision whatsoever. The Board of the CCAR, and then president Rabbi Janet Marder, miserably failed to uphold their sacred duty to keep the rabbinate safe. The CCAR Board makes every appearance of being a "Good Old Boys Club" whose primary objective is to protect the rabbi at the sacrifice of the victim, and all future victims of the abusive rabbi. There are some rabbi's who are trying to make a difference, among them, Rabbi Arthur Gross Schaefer, Rabbi Rosalind Gold and Rabbi Karen Fox - Reform - but they are few and far between. I decided to go to the press with my case and, Baruch Hashem, they published my story through the Jewish Telegraphic Agency - all over the U.S. and Europe, including Israel. I will never know if my stories prevented other women from being abused but I do know one thing - after the stories were published, my abuser stopped his pastoral counseling practice and is now concentrating on teaching. Baruch Hashem. The one reason why I went to the CCAR with my complaint in the first place was that I was told of another victim of his that sued, was paid off through the temple malpractice insurance and the victim was officially gagged as part of a settlement agreement. The shul's Board of Trustee's allowed the abusive rabbi to remain on the Bimah, where just 3 years later he abused me. I was able to say no to the affair he was pushing for, after groping me and emotionally abusing me but the damage to my spirituality was done. My soul was raped. I still cannot attend shul, 6 years later. My abuser touched me in inappropriate ways in front of my 7 year old daughter (who is now 13). She is now forever scarred by his abuse as well, and does not attend shul anymore either. She is still studying Hebrew with a private tutor but she will never have a temple ceremony for her Bat Mitzvah. Her memories of shul are now the memories of my abuse. Now you go ahead and tell me that when I share my story with other victims, I'm committing LaShon Hara? You tell me that by going to the press, and preventing my abuser to continue his pastoral "counseling", I committed LaShon Hara? You tell me that what I did was wrong. I did everything I could to prevent other victims. If my abusers victim that sued him had been allowed to go to the press, and if I'd read about this "rabbi", I most likely would not have become his next victim. I would have known what to look out for and I would NOT have trusted that man. So, you tell me I did the wrong thing - go ahead. Chavah | Homepage | 07.18.06 - 6:19 pm | # -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Name:

I am so tired of the Jewish community using the prohibition against lashon hara to protect these most abhorrent criminals because, make no mistake about it, rabbis who commit acts of sexual misconduct with their congregants are criminals. Innocent people suffer and are traumatized while Jewish communities protect their clergy. So the message is to any sexually deviant Jewish man that the rabbinate offers the perfect career path because not only will he have unlimited access to vulnerable women and children but the Jewish community will sanction his behaviour and protect him, all under the guise of fear of lashon hara. Meanwhile they stand idly by while the victims suffer. What kind of an ethical standard is that? No wonder these men are so arrogant and convinced of their invincible power. They are given carte blanche to do what they will and their victims are re-victimized if they come forward. They are now accused of slander. Does anyone in the Jewish community care about the well-being of these vulnerable women and children, or is the image of the rabbinate all important? Must the show go on at all costs?

The internet can be utilized in order to attck in a kind of virtual terrorism against inoccent people too.