How many Jewish mothers does it take to change the Jewish mother stereotype?
I don't know about you, but the Jewish mothers I knew--my mother and both my grandmothers--were loving individuals who gave unstintingly of themselves to their children in a way that was guilt-free and empowering. Yes, Jewish mothers are usually pretty clear they want their children to do well in school (perhaps another contributor to the Jewish intelligence quotient). They want their children to succeed financially so they will not to have to worry about having enough money to put food on the table and a roof over their heads (something that we, who did not live through European famines or the Depression, find hard to fully appreciate).
I am not a fan of any stereotypical humor: such humor made at the expense of others is equally offensive whether the focus of the joke is a Jewish mother or someone of Polish, Irish, Chinese, or (you get the picture) extraction. Much of the talk radio debate about the firing of Don Imus over the sexist and racist remarks he made about the Rutgers Women's Basketball team focused on whether the only ones who can use derogatory humor about a group of people is a member of that particular group. But stereotyping is never OK. Jewish mother jokes are a sad and sexist way to respond to the women who gave us birth and would have done almost anything it took to help us succeed in life.
--Posted by Rabbi Susan Grossman
Read the Full Debate: Is Jewish Mother Humor Harmful or Harmless?
How Many Jewish Mothers Does It Take?
Tuesday May 15, 2007
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This blog is no longer updated and is closed for comments. We welcome your comments about Judaism in our Judaism forums.
Brad Hirschfield currently blogs on Windows and Doors.
Author, radio and TV talk show host, and President of CLAL-The National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership, Brad Hirschfield is the author of You Don’t Have To Be Wrong For Me To Be Right: Finding Faith Without Fanaticism. Listed as one of the nation’s 50 most influential rabbis in Newsweek, and a regular commentator on Court TV, he is the creator of the popular series, Building Bridges, airing on Bridges TV, and the co-host of the weekly radio show, Hirschfield and Kula.
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When did jokes stop being jokes?
get a grip! If a joke is said in a loving frame of mind by one of our/your own it is far different from the same joke said by someone who is saying it to be mean. These type of jokes are not understood as well as they used to be so we end up with an Imus instead of a Don Rickles. That is the difference. As a Jewish Mother who is also mother-in-law and had both I laugh as much as anyone when the joke is done right. Laura
Of course the jokes can be cute and harmless if told in the proper spirit. I guess I just find the always-sacrificing, smothering mother steriotype a bit unsettling and find joking about my mother, all of 5'2" and 115 lbs, driving around in that giant truck a lot more fun. My husband once pointed out, you don't need to be Jewish, a mother or even a woman, to be a Jewish mother! He is right: many people have that nuturing aspect within their psyches, which explains the love many of us lavish on our pets. Speaking of which, I have a horse who is impatiently waiting to get out and I need to pack a box of homemade cookies to mail to my brother, who is having a tough time on the job. Lucky me, I escaped the Jewish mother gene! :-) Lucy
Dear Rabbi, I am a Jewish mother who was raised by a Jewish mother and "Bubbie". My husband and I have two daughters. My "Yiddishkite" was engrained and I tried to pass on the gift to our children. I am a successful attorney with my own law firm. Currently, our daughters are not the people that we rasied. They are selfish, disrespectful and entitled. Our eldest daughter has not spoken to us for months because we dared to comment on her boyfriend's father's demeanor, specifically how disrespectful he was to his wife in our presence. Our younger daugter is also not speaking to us because we do not approve of her "quitting college" and her newly found rock and roll lifestyle.In order to have a relationship,must we choke on words and walk on egg shells? We are devasted. Do you think my roles as a Jewish mother and business woman were confusing for the girls? I have always tried to be a good role model for them. Maybe I tried too hard. Please let me know your thoughts and suggestions. Thanks so much.
Dear Andrea, Who could have the wisdom to answer your question? All I can observe is that your kids are young and their life stories are far from over. Give it 10 to 12 years. My mother would say in English, but I bet it was from the Yiddish, "Just wait ... just wait until you have children of your own --- then you'll see -- you'll see." She was right. Give it time.