I'm disturbed by Rabbi Stern's claim that the incidence of teenage pregnancy and AIDS in the Jewish community is not a problem that needs to be taken seriously. Similar claims were once made about alcoholism and domestic violence, driving the problems underground, preventing education, and silencing the victims. It has already been more than a decade since the Tzvi Aryeh AIDS Foundation was founded in New York City to serve Orthodox Jews suffering from AIDS. The Tzvi Aryeh Foundation targets the very traditional Jewish community by presenting sexual education and choices in ways that have been sanctioned by Orthodox rabbis and that comport with normative Jewish law. But the organization works in almost total secrecy because of the severe stigma that an AIDS diagnosis brings in certain segments of the Orthodox world.
No, AIDS and teenage pregnancy are serious problems and I would applaud the Orthodox Union if it were actually promoting education, awareness, and prevention. But it’s not. Instead it’s using these issues–as well as the specter of cervical cancer, suicide, and date rape–as scare tactics to push a moralistic agenda. While encouraging teenagers to delay engaging in sexual activity may be a laudable goal for any number of reasons, providing bad information will never be the right way to go about promoting this objective. The OU should rethink it's abstinence website, and perhaps abstain from disseminating misleading information to teens.
Read the Full Debate: Should We Teach Abstinence to Teens?
May 2007 Archives
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Add to StumbleUponWednesday May 30, 2007
The Orthodox Union's Conversion to Christianity
My detached academic side always finds it interesting to watch the time delay between the trends and ideas emerging in American religious life and the way they get picked up and adapted by those in the Jewish world. And yet when I read this week about the Orthodox Union’s pathetic attempt to mimic the most fundamentalist elements of the Christian right in creating a campaign for sexual abstinence, all I could do was shack my head in disbelief.
Before continuing I want to be clear that I actually agree with the website’s basic message: teenagers by and large are not ready for and would do well to desist from having sex. (My own personal position on the matter of sexuality is much closer akin to the views expressed by Rabbi Irving Greenberg, who stresses the tzelem elohim, the Godliness and Holiness, of the human body). That said, I would disagree with virtually everything else on the website.
Luckily the website has been wildly condemned drawing criticism not only from liberals, but from many in the Orthodox community. My friend and sharp Jewish commentator Josh Yuter has done a fine job at pointing out some of the disturbing internal elements of this sophomoric piece of religious kitsch. He notes that the website:
a) Compares those who engage in pre-marital sex as equivalent to animals
b) That teenagers have inferior minds
c) Compares rape victims to vegetarians in that both can desist from their desires and lusts
d) Most importantly that the piece manipulates Torah sources, which misread the Jewish position on everything from women to sexuality to the role of ritual baths
Likewise, those such as Rabbi Waxman notes on this blog, note the problematic scientific research employed by the website and those who maintain such positions.
My problems with the website are, however, more general and political. Specifically, I am not sure who this website is directed at.
Relative to America at-large there is no teenage pregnancy or AIDS problem in the Jewish community let alone the Orthodox community!!
So who on earth is this website trying to speak to?
Would the OU deny condoms to Chinese women who have millions of abortions every year? Would the OU proclaim their abstinence only message to an Africa being ravished by AIDS? Would the OU object to condoms be given out to the over 25 million people infected by AIDS in Sub-Saharan Africa?
Unfortunately, the piece expresses the worst of Orthodox myopic thinking. The truth of the matter is that Judaism has so much to teach America and the world on the issue of sexuality. Unlike the Catholic Church, Judaism has and continues to promote a very healthy understanding of the human body and sexual activity. It’s a shame the OU has ignored all of that and has become so.......Christian.
Read the Full Debate: Should We Teach Abstinence to Teens?
Before continuing I want to be clear that I actually agree with the website’s basic message: teenagers by and large are not ready for and would do well to desist from having sex. (My own personal position on the matter of sexuality is much closer akin to the views expressed by Rabbi Irving Greenberg, who stresses the tzelem elohim, the Godliness and Holiness, of the human body). That said, I would disagree with virtually everything else on the website.
Luckily the website has been wildly condemned drawing criticism not only from liberals, but from many in the Orthodox community. My friend and sharp Jewish commentator Josh Yuter has done a fine job at pointing out some of the disturbing internal elements of this sophomoric piece of religious kitsch. He notes that the website:
a) Compares those who engage in pre-marital sex as equivalent to animals
b) That teenagers have inferior minds
c) Compares rape victims to vegetarians in that both can desist from their desires and lusts
d) Most importantly that the piece manipulates Torah sources, which misread the Jewish position on everything from women to sexuality to the role of ritual baths
Likewise, those such as Rabbi Waxman notes on this blog, note the problematic scientific research employed by the website and those who maintain such positions.
My problems with the website are, however, more general and political. Specifically, I am not sure who this website is directed at.
Relative to America at-large there is no teenage pregnancy or AIDS problem in the Jewish community let alone the Orthodox community!!
So who on earth is this website trying to speak to?
Would the OU deny condoms to Chinese women who have millions of abortions every year? Would the OU proclaim their abstinence only message to an Africa being ravished by AIDS? Would the OU object to condoms be given out to the over 25 million people infected by AIDS in Sub-Saharan Africa?
Unfortunately, the piece expresses the worst of Orthodox myopic thinking. The truth of the matter is that Judaism has so much to teach America and the world on the issue of sexuality. Unlike the Catholic Church, Judaism has and continues to promote a very healthy understanding of the human body and sexual activity. It’s a shame the OU has ignored all of that and has become so.......Christian.
Read the Full Debate: Should We Teach Abstinence to Teens?
Wednesday May 30, 2007
Safe Sex for the Soul?
I don't have the same problem Rabbi Waxman does with the Orthodox Union's recent effort to promote abstinence among its young people. The OU's site does seem to include accurate information, at least to my medically untrained eye, particularly by including a link to the Food and Drug Administration's web site that in turn includes how to safely use a condom. The OU deserves to be praised for including that.
Don't get me wrong, though. I found much of the OU site very disturbing. While their emphasis on negiah, refraining from touching between boys and girls, is nothing new, it is part of a larger objectification of women and actually can serve to sexualize all contact (even normal social contact) between the sexes, which is why the Orthodox separate men and women to such an extent. What is even worse is their framing of teen sexuality in the context of sin and karet, the punishment of being cut off for the sin of having sex during a woman's period, which seems irresponsible when we think about the rising number of teen suicides. Their story of Sarah seems like a girl who could have just as easily hurt herself as found comfort in the concept of teshuvah (forgiveness). I was also troubled by their cumulative message in their carefully crafted section on condoms that ultimately undermines the importance of condoms in protecting against STDs and AIDS.
We do need to talk about responsible sexual behavior for our young people. Between TV, advertising and the movies, our young people are being raised in such a sexualized society that promoting abstinence provides a balance to the incredible pressures our kids are under. Perhaps we parents are not doing our job to the extent that we should. It important, and possible, to teach our children to wait. There are prerequisites for sexual intimacy such as maturity, commitment, and the ability to cope with consequences of one's actions, in addition to love, trust, honesty, mutual kindness, and respect.
We need to talk to our kids, know where they are going, when they will be back, who they will be with, and which parents will be home when they have a party or are over each other's homes. We need to provide adequate parental supervision to support safe behaviors, like not letting them be alone in potentially compromising situations in addition to helping them set boundaries for intimate behavior. We also need to make time to listen to our kids and be willing to ask them straight questions about their friends and personal activities. (This goes for smoking and drugs as well.) That means we will sometimes be labeled old fashioned or the bad guys, but it also means our kids will be safer.
With all that said, though, a chaste kiss and hand holding is certainly different than heavy petting. There is also a difference between telling our teens that they must wait and guiding adults in how to determine when a relationship is serious enough to warrant thinking about more intimate relations. Rabbi Elliot Dorff, in the Conservative Movement's Rabbinic Letter on Intimate Relations, writes not about abstinence but about waiting. Perhaps that is a much better model for our young people, for it educates them to be better able to make wise choices not just about a particular intimate act but about what the prerequisites are for a healthy relationship throughout their lives.
Read the Full Debate: Should We Teach Abstinence to Teens?
Don't get me wrong, though. I found much of the OU site very disturbing. While their emphasis on negiah, refraining from touching between boys and girls, is nothing new, it is part of a larger objectification of women and actually can serve to sexualize all contact (even normal social contact) between the sexes, which is why the Orthodox separate men and women to such an extent. What is even worse is their framing of teen sexuality in the context of sin and karet, the punishment of being cut off for the sin of having sex during a woman's period, which seems irresponsible when we think about the rising number of teen suicides. Their story of Sarah seems like a girl who could have just as easily hurt herself as found comfort in the concept of teshuvah (forgiveness). I was also troubled by their cumulative message in their carefully crafted section on condoms that ultimately undermines the importance of condoms in protecting against STDs and AIDS.
We do need to talk about responsible sexual behavior for our young people. Between TV, advertising and the movies, our young people are being raised in such a sexualized society that promoting abstinence provides a balance to the incredible pressures our kids are under. Perhaps we parents are not doing our job to the extent that we should. It important, and possible, to teach our children to wait. There are prerequisites for sexual intimacy such as maturity, commitment, and the ability to cope with consequences of one's actions, in addition to love, trust, honesty, mutual kindness, and respect.
We need to talk to our kids, know where they are going, when they will be back, who they will be with, and which parents will be home when they have a party or are over each other's homes. We need to provide adequate parental supervision to support safe behaviors, like not letting them be alone in potentially compromising situations in addition to helping them set boundaries for intimate behavior. We also need to make time to listen to our kids and be willing to ask them straight questions about their friends and personal activities. (This goes for smoking and drugs as well.) That means we will sometimes be labeled old fashioned or the bad guys, but it also means our kids will be safer.
With all that said, though, a chaste kiss and hand holding is certainly different than heavy petting. There is also a difference between telling our teens that they must wait and guiding adults in how to determine when a relationship is serious enough to warrant thinking about more intimate relations. Rabbi Elliot Dorff, in the Conservative Movement's Rabbinic Letter on Intimate Relations, writes not about abstinence but about waiting. Perhaps that is a much better model for our young people, for it educates them to be better able to make wise choices not just about a particular intimate act but about what the prerequisites are for a healthy relationship throughout their lives.
Read the Full Debate: Should We Teach Abstinence to Teens?
Monday May 28, 2007
The Seduction of Abstinence
Regular readers of VT may have noticed my absence from the blog the past couple of weeks – but it has been for the most wonderful of reasons: my wife and I have been extremely busy as we have welcomed our new son, Adir Hanan, into the world. He is a complete miracle and has been warmly embraced into our family by his loving older brother and sister.
Now this may sound like a strange lead-in to the subject we’re taking up this week--the Orthodox Union's brand new website pushing an abstinence-only approach for Jewish teens. The site is filled with the same dubious health claims that the Christian abstinence movement has been making to support its agenda, with a sprinkling of Jewish perspective. Taken together, this makes for a rather unappealing (and possibly irresponsible) mix that is unlikely to convince anyone to abstain. Why irresponsible? Because many abstinence-only programs and curricula provide misleading information, don't lead to lower rates of abstinence in participants, and can increase pregnancy and the spread of disease by discouraging use of contraceptives. In hopping on the increasingly-discredited abstinence bandwagon, it's unclear if the Orthodox Union is actually trying to help teens or if it just wants a stake a claim in cyberspace to the moral high ground.
Now what does all of this have to do with our new son? In Jewish thought sex is generally regarded as a natural and loving act that is not disparaged as it is in some systems of belief. The Song of Songs--at root a celebration of physical love--is a part of our canon, and Rashi claims that the first sexual act (Gen. 4:1) took place while Adam and Eve were still in the Garden of Eden, denying any association between sex and the Christian concept of original sin. The Talmud (B. Yoma 13a) states that the High Priest was required to be married, which is in direct contradistinction to religious traditions that associate sanctity with chastity. Sex is, after all, a necessary ingredient for building a family and the family unit has always been the fundamental building block of Jewish life.
There is no question that sex can also be destructive and that teens are often not emotionally equipped to make healthy choices. But the way to encourage better choices isn't to present distorted information. Instead, it is to articulate a coherent vision of loving relationships that will encourage young people to respect one another in all aspects of life, and not to single out sex in an effort to turn it into something disgraceful or to make sexual urges and desires something to be ashamed of. This is hard work and is much more complex than a website can handle. Let's hope we can find a way to affirm healthy choices and responsible relationships without demonizing our very human, and necessary, sexuality.
Now this may sound like a strange lead-in to the subject we’re taking up this week--the Orthodox Union's brand new website pushing an abstinence-only approach for Jewish teens. The site is filled with the same dubious health claims that the Christian abstinence movement has been making to support its agenda, with a sprinkling of Jewish perspective. Taken together, this makes for a rather unappealing (and possibly irresponsible) mix that is unlikely to convince anyone to abstain. Why irresponsible? Because many abstinence-only programs and curricula provide misleading information, don't lead to lower rates of abstinence in participants, and can increase pregnancy and the spread of disease by discouraging use of contraceptives. In hopping on the increasingly-discredited abstinence bandwagon, it's unclear if the Orthodox Union is actually trying to help teens or if it just wants a stake a claim in cyberspace to the moral high ground.
Now what does all of this have to do with our new son? In Jewish thought sex is generally regarded as a natural and loving act that is not disparaged as it is in some systems of belief. The Song of Songs--at root a celebration of physical love--is a part of our canon, and Rashi claims that the first sexual act (Gen. 4:1) took place while Adam and Eve were still in the Garden of Eden, denying any association between sex and the Christian concept of original sin. The Talmud (B. Yoma 13a) states that the High Priest was required to be married, which is in direct contradistinction to religious traditions that associate sanctity with chastity. Sex is, after all, a necessary ingredient for building a family and the family unit has always been the fundamental building block of Jewish life.
There is no question that sex can also be destructive and that teens are often not emotionally equipped to make healthy choices. But the way to encourage better choices isn't to present distorted information. Instead, it is to articulate a coherent vision of loving relationships that will encourage young people to respect one another in all aspects of life, and not to single out sex in an effort to turn it into something disgraceful or to make sexual urges and desires something to be ashamed of. This is hard work and is much more complex than a website can handle. Let's hope we can find a way to affirm healthy choices and responsible relationships without demonizing our very human, and necessary, sexuality.
Read the Full Debate: Should We Teach Abstinence to Teens?
Tuesday May 22, 2007
Orthodox Coercion Hurts Our People
Kol ha kavod to Rabbi Stern on drawing the line between the coercive power of the Israeli Rabbinate and their encroachment on the American Orthodox Rabbinate’s authority over American conversions. However, I wonder if Rabbi Stern would be willing to go so far as to defend the right of those who receive non-Orthodox conversions here in America? Under Israeli law, such converts have the Right of Return, but are not recognized as Jews for religious or personal status purposes, like weddings or burials. Such policies are just the tip of the iceberg on a long list of ways that the Orthodox Rabbinate in Israel has alienated average Israelis so that they generally have a very negative attitude about our tradition and Jewish observance. While there are individual Orthodox rabbis in Israel who do not fit this mold, most do. As such, the Orthodox Rabbinate in Israel is perhaps the greatest threat to Israel’s future as a Jewish State.
My converts observe kashrut, celebrate the Sabbath, learn to read Hebrew and pray. Some have become regular Torah readers in our congregation. They, like the Biblical Ruth, have embraced our God and our people and made a commitment to live their lives through the mitzvot. Yet, it is not only the Orthodox in Israel who will reject them, but much of the Orthodox Rabbinate here as well.
We have more than enough challenges facing the Jewish community than to have to fight over turf and boundaries. It is high time that the Orthodox Rabbinate here and in Israel agree to serve on joint batei din (religious courts) with their non-Orthodox colleagues to train and welcome converts. This model has served a limited number of communities well and had been offered as a compromise by the Conservative (Masorti) Movement in Israel in its efforts to come to some arrangement with the Israeli government and Rabbinate.
Ruth becomes the progenitor of King David, and thus the future messiah, perhaps as a reminder to us all to do all we can to be welcoming to those who want to join our people and embrace our laws.
Read the Full Debate: Conversion, Choice, & Shavuot's Message
My converts observe kashrut, celebrate the Sabbath, learn to read Hebrew and pray. Some have become regular Torah readers in our congregation. They, like the Biblical Ruth, have embraced our God and our people and made a commitment to live their lives through the mitzvot. Yet, it is not only the Orthodox in Israel who will reject them, but much of the Orthodox Rabbinate here as well.
We have more than enough challenges facing the Jewish community than to have to fight over turf and boundaries. It is high time that the Orthodox Rabbinate here and in Israel agree to serve on joint batei din (religious courts) with their non-Orthodox colleagues to train and welcome converts. This model has served a limited number of communities well and had been offered as a compromise by the Conservative (Masorti) Movement in Israel in its efforts to come to some arrangement with the Israeli government and Rabbinate.
Ruth becomes the progenitor of King David, and thus the future messiah, perhaps as a reminder to us all to do all we can to be welcoming to those who want to join our people and embrace our laws.
Read the Full Debate: Conversion, Choice, & Shavuot's Message
Monday May 21, 2007
Shavuot: Choice and Coercion in Modern-Day Life
The issue of intermarriage and conversion has most recently been reawakened by the Israeli Chief Rabbinate's attempt to take over the full conversion process of the American Orthodox Rabbinate. This difference between American Jewry and the Israeli Chief Rabbinate comes...
Wednesday May 16, 2007
Jewish Mothers, Take a Joke
Rabbi Grossman has spoken like a true Jewish mother. Her moral finger-wagging at those who crack a few jokes is either obvious or prudishly naive about human nature. Yes, Jewish mother jokes can be insensitive and downright hurtful. But they...
Tuesday May 15, 2007
How Many Jewish Mothers Does It Take?
How many Jewish mothers does it take to change the Jewish mother stereotype?I don't know about you, but the Jewish mothers I knew--my mother and both my grandmothers--were loving individuals who gave unstintingly of themselves to their children in a...
Monday May 14, 2007
Are Jews Intellectually Superior? Who Cares!
I would agree with both Rabbi Waxman’s and Rabbi Grossman’s comments regarding Charles Murray’s recent essay in Commentary Magazine on Jewish brains. Even if his answers seem a bit strained, Murray’s article certainly has a certain grain of truth. The...
Wednesday May 9, 2007
Two Jews, Three Opinions
It is not just our traditional and liturgical emphasis on asking questions that contributes to what Rabbi Waxman terms the “Jewish intellectual legacy.” It is the value Jewish traditional learning placed upon engaging different opinions.The Talmud is full of such...
Sunday May 6, 2007
Questioning Jewish Genius
An article by Charles Murray that recently appeared in Commentary Magazine has been inspiring both conversation and criticism with its claim that Jews are uniquely gifted when it comes to intellectual accomplishment, especially in the arts and sciences. Although much...
Friday May 4, 2007
Darfur: Are We Part of the Problem or the Solution?
I brought my 7th grade class to the U.S. Holocaust Museum in Washington last Sunday. I wish I could say they were learning past history. The sad news is, they were not. The very same day, people gathered in front...
Thursday May 3, 2007
Does Darfur Need a Good Publicist?
A few weeks ago my congregation was fortunate enough to host Ruth Messinger, executive director of American Jewish World Service, who spoke to us on the situation in Darfur and the obligations that our Jewish values–and recent history–demand of us....
Tuesday May 1, 2007
Saving Darfur Is the Highest Form of Charity
Last week I had the chance to stop into B'nai Jeshurun on Manhattan's Upper West Side for early Friday evening services (a little bit of cross denominational socializing and praying is always healthy), and was moved by the massive sign...
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Brad Hirschfield currently blogs on Windows and Doors.
Author, radio and TV talk show host, and President of CLAL-The National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership, Brad Hirschfield is the author of You Don’t Have To Be Wrong For Me To Be Right: Finding Faith Without Fanaticism. Listed as one of the nation’s 50 most influential rabbis in Newsweek, and a regular commentator on Court TV, he is the creator of the popular series, Building Bridges, airing on Bridges TV, and the co-host of the weekly radio show, Hirschfield and Kula.
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