Regular readers of VT may have noticed my absence from the blog the past couple of weeks – but it has been for the most wonderful of reasons: my wife and I have been extremely busy as we have welcomed our new son, Adir Hanan, into the world. He is a complete miracle and has been warmly embraced into our family by his loving older brother and sister.
Now this may sound like a strange lead-in to the subject we’re taking up this week--the Orthodox Union's brand new website pushing an abstinence-only approach for Jewish teens. The site is filled with the same dubious health claims that the Christian abstinence movement has been making to support its agenda, with a sprinkling of Jewish perspective. Taken together, this makes for a rather unappealing (and possibly irresponsible) mix that is unlikely to convince anyone to abstain. Why irresponsible? Because many abstinence-only programs and curricula provide misleading information, don't lead to lower rates of abstinence in participants, and can increase pregnancy and the spread of disease by discouraging use of contraceptives. In hopping on the increasingly-discredited abstinence bandwagon, it's unclear if the Orthodox Union is actually trying to help teens or if it just wants a stake a claim in cyberspace to the moral high ground.
Now what does all of this have to do with our new son? In Jewish thought sex is generally regarded as a natural and loving act that is not disparaged as it is in some systems of belief. The Song of Songs--at root a celebration of physical love--is a part of our canon, and Rashi claims that the first sexual act (Gen. 4:1) took place while Adam and Eve were still in the Garden of Eden, denying any association between sex and the Christian concept of original sin. The Talmud (B. Yoma 13a) states that the High Priest was required to be married, which is in direct contradistinction to religious traditions that associate sanctity with chastity. Sex is, after all, a necessary ingredient for building a family and the family unit has always been the fundamental building block of Jewish life.
There is no question that sex can also be destructive and that teens are often not emotionally equipped to make healthy choices. But the way to encourage better choices isn't to present distorted information. Instead, it is to articulate a coherent vision of loving relationships that will encourage young people to respect one another in all aspects of life, and not to single out sex in an effort to turn it into something disgraceful or to make sexual urges and desires something to be ashamed of. This is hard work and is much more complex than a website can handle. Let's hope we can find a way to affirm healthy choices and responsible relationships without demonizing our very human, and necessary, sexuality.
Now this may sound like a strange lead-in to the subject we’re taking up this week--the Orthodox Union's brand new website pushing an abstinence-only approach for Jewish teens. The site is filled with the same dubious health claims that the Christian abstinence movement has been making to support its agenda, with a sprinkling of Jewish perspective. Taken together, this makes for a rather unappealing (and possibly irresponsible) mix that is unlikely to convince anyone to abstain. Why irresponsible? Because many abstinence-only programs and curricula provide misleading information, don't lead to lower rates of abstinence in participants, and can increase pregnancy and the spread of disease by discouraging use of contraceptives. In hopping on the increasingly-discredited abstinence bandwagon, it's unclear if the Orthodox Union is actually trying to help teens or if it just wants a stake a claim in cyberspace to the moral high ground.
Now what does all of this have to do with our new son? In Jewish thought sex is generally regarded as a natural and loving act that is not disparaged as it is in some systems of belief. The Song of Songs--at root a celebration of physical love--is a part of our canon, and Rashi claims that the first sexual act (Gen. 4:1) took place while Adam and Eve were still in the Garden of Eden, denying any association between sex and the Christian concept of original sin. The Talmud (B. Yoma 13a) states that the High Priest was required to be married, which is in direct contradistinction to religious traditions that associate sanctity with chastity. Sex is, after all, a necessary ingredient for building a family and the family unit has always been the fundamental building block of Jewish life.
There is no question that sex can also be destructive and that teens are often not emotionally equipped to make healthy choices. But the way to encourage better choices isn't to present distorted information. Instead, it is to articulate a coherent vision of loving relationships that will encourage young people to respect one another in all aspects of life, and not to single out sex in an effort to turn it into something disgraceful or to make sexual urges and desires something to be ashamed of. This is hard work and is much more complex than a website can handle. Let's hope we can find a way to affirm healthy choices and responsible relationships without demonizing our very human, and necessary, sexuality.
Read the Full Debate: Should We Teach Abstinence to Teens?
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Author, radio and TV talk show host, and President of CLAL-The National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership, Brad Hirschfield is the author of 
Hooray for total halacha abstinence! When you're a Gay Teen in the world of homophobia, it's a great relief to pretend that you're religious. I discovered, however, that this was a short term strategy. After a while one does have to face the issue of sexual orientation, and eventually I discovered enough about myself to say, "I'm not religious; I like BOYZ!!! So many men; so little time." Other than providing an excuse for Gay Teens to stay away from girls, I cannot think of much benefit to the Orthodox abstinence approach. Life is complex and people with simplistic "answers" are really part of the problem.
No problem vis-a-vis conservative Christians since Jews don't believe (or aren't supposed to believe) in a Christian heaven anyways.
Dear Christians Who Read Jewish Websites: We Jews, for the most part, have fundamentally different approaches to the world than Christians. Traditionally, we have held that the strict rules and standards which we set for Jews and the rules to which non-Jews should be held are different. For non-Jews we have some basic tenets, such as not stealing or murdering. (see Code of Noah) We leave it to the non-Jewish communities to regulate their conduct according to their own conventions. When a certain sect within the Jewish Community adopts Christian beliefs or worse yet adopts basic Christian modes of thought (i.e. that they possess the one Truth to the exclusion of everyone else), we criticize those beliefs. Since you are not Jewish, you may not understand why many Jews find a right wing Jewish sect taking on Christian beliefs and thought patterns to be a problem. Before Christian readers can understand the problem, they would need to understand the different perspectives that Jews have on the world. This is not a matter which can be elucidated while standing on one foot.
How many times yet will we have to deal with these OVERMORAL ??? I am talking about those, who make the thunder-like noise, when boy accidentally touches the girl's elbow with his elbow. If Orthodox Union started to promote abstinence in a Christian (or what rather seems to be Christian) way - let me ask you one question: When Miriam got pregnant with Jeshua (Jesus), she was barely 15.y.o., possibly even less. Should we charge God with child molestation??? Think about it.
I completely agree with this article. Sexuality is a healthy part of life.