Rabbi Eliyahu Stern: November 2006 Archives

There have always been two sides to the "Who is a Jew?" question. There are those who identify Jews primarily through blood and genetics, and those who see being a Jew as being more about choosing to identify with the Jewish people and adopt a certain lifestyle.

With an intermarriage rate hovering around 50 percent, Diaspora Jewry has for the most part adopted choice and lifestyle as their determining criteria for who is a Jew. On the other hand, the Israeli chief rabbinate continues to privilege blood and genetics, rejecting Reform, Conservative, and even many Orthodox conversions.

This past week, the chief rabbinate's blood-and-genetics position was put on display.
After years of political negotiations, historical research, and genetic testing, Israel welcomed the Bnei Menashe. The Indian group, which claims to be descended from one of the 10 lost tribes, was allowed entry into the country under the Law of Return. At the same time, however, that the chief rabbinate was opening it arms, Sephardic Chief Rabbi Shlomo Amar proposed denying the Law of Return to anyone not born of a Jewish mother. Only Jews born Jewish would be eligible for automatic citizenship; all others would have to apply through the regular channels.

Many in Israel laughed at the whole Bnei Menashe episode. One commentator in the Israeli newspaper Haaretz described the story of these long-lost Jews as comparable to fables such as "Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf, or...Snow White's Seven Dwarfs."

But these commentators' criticisms are misplaced. Their issue should not be the absurdity of the Bnei Menashe story, but rather with a system that continues to privilege a form of identity that Jews worldwide are increasing moving away from. While the chief rabbinate continues to stress blood, Diaspora Jews are increasingly seeing Judaism as being about a way of life (and not about one's DNA).

How telling are the wise words of Rabbi Waxman. Though Judaism always privileged the tzaddik, the ultra-pious human being, its texts from the Bible on through the Talmud highlight just how flawed and full of failure leadership can be. Just think of King David: Here is one of God's greatest kings sleeping with a married woman and then ensuring that her husband die in war.

However, many will not admit that David sinned. The thing is that most people don't want to see clergy as human. In some sense, it's much easier for people to put their priests and rabbis up on an ethical and moral pedestal. By seeing them as angels, people absolve themselves of ever having to listen to them or trying to live up to their words.

In some ways they see their synagogue membership fee as a way of outsourcing their religious obligations. They say to themselves, "The rabbi keeps up Judaism, and I keep to myself." People want to believe that their clergy are saints because they think they are covered so long as someone is embodying piety on their behalf.

The bottom line is that while clergy are expected to live up to a higher moral standard than their flock, they are no different than any one else: They have passions, needs, desires, and lusts. They sin, repent, love, and hate in the same way that every human being does.

So if you are banking on them to get you to heaven by outsourcing your religious life, you better think again.

There are two great poles in religious existence: redemption and thankfulness. Redemption constantly calls on us to make our lives and the world around us better and more holy. Thankfulness forces us to be content with what we have been given.

Thanksgiving accentuates our ability to feel at ease, at peace, and OK with where we are at in life. It forces us to take a step back and appreciate--for one day, we stop attempting to achieve, fix, repair, or even improve. Thanksgiving means feeling blessed and celebrating the present.

So no matter how bad things are going in Iraq and no matter how difficult this year has been for our country, at Thanksgiving we remember just how much we have to be grateful for.

If I could sum up Thanksgiving in one line, it would have to be "He who is rich is one who is content with his lot" (Ethics of Our Fathers 4:1).

So the gay community has called off their march scheduled for this weeken, averting a showdown with a violent haredi (extreme Orthodox) community. This should not be seen as a form of capitulation, but rather the maturity of the gay community and their ability to put communal concerns first.

While somewhere deep down inside I am disappointed that the haredim have won yet another battle over the cultural makeup of Jerusalem, sometimes--but only sometimes--they have a point.

Ohhh please...Rabbi Grossman’s position is a caricature of just the kind of simplistic, clichéd liberal thinking that has got us into this mess to begin with.

Firstly, I just want to be clear: If one haredi lifts up a hand to hurt one Jew in that parade than they will have committed a greater hillul hashem (an action that hides God's presence) than anything any marcher will have done that day.

That said, my position on the march has nothing to do with rights! The gay-rights march has every right in the world to take place in Jerusalem. BUT AS ANYONE WHO HAS HAD ANY SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP KNOWS, RIGHTS DON’T MAKE RIGHT.

Healthy relationships--and, for that matter, healthy societies and cultures--do not function based on rights but rather understanding, sensitivity, and mutual trust. (By the way, Rabbi Grossman, in terms of rights: Do you support the right of the gay community to be ordained? Do you perform gay marriages? Do you right ketubot (marriage contracts) and give gettim (Jewish religious divorce decrees) for gay marriages and divorces? Do you announce gay couples' anniversaries from your pulpit? Why shouldn’t the gay community have the “right” to these religious ceremonies?

The truth of the matter is that looking at this issue in terms of rights just gets too sloppy and simplistic.

My problem with the gay-rights march is not the march itself. Personally, as I have argued elsewhere, I believe that the gay community should be given full equal rights and be treated politically and economically in the same way any heterosexual is treated.

What Rabbi Grossman forgets, however, is that this march has taken place a number of times in Jerusalem with little fanfare and debate. The reason for all of the commotion is that this year World Pride was originally scheduled to happen in Jerusalem in August, and that stirred the hornets' nest. This year’s march was seen by the haredi community as being overly provocative.
Yes, Jerusalem is not owned by haredim–it’s the property of all of Israel’s inhabitants–and there is a limit to what haredim should be allowed to get away with. That said, contra Rabbi Grossman, I have no problem with cafes being open on Shabbat and for that matter with buses running up and down every street in Jerusalem during morning services on Shabbat.

My reasoning is simple: Those things are part of peoples day-to day lives. Having a bus run on Shabbat is not a political statement; it is a statement about wanting to go to the grocery store, or to visit friends and family. A march’s essence is not part of people’s day-to-day lives. It is meant to highlight and accentuate certain groups’ political and social identity. Its purpose is to stake out a position and make people aware of something in a demonstrative manner.

Having a gay march in Jerusalem will not breed one iota of good will between gays and those who oppose them. (Sure, the haredim are pathetic and a danger to the stability of a democratic state...but that’s not a good enough reason to stick a gay-pride parade in their face). The march is unnecessarily provocative, because ultimately it will not prove anything but the strength or weakness of a police force to separate the marchers and protesters.

Just because someone has a right does not mean it is in their best interest to use that right. It’s easy to be right; it’s much harder having a relationship.

The gay pride parade planned to take place in Jerusalem on Friday has created a fierce debate over the limits of freedom of expression in Israel. Israel's extreme haredi (ultra-Orthodox) groups are threatening violence--they've been staging violent demonstrations for weeks...

I think Rabbi Grossman's analogy to Archie Bunker is excellent!Did many white 50-year-old men identify with Archie, thereby creating a racist cultural icon? Sure they did, but for every 50-year-old white racist bigot laughing along with Archie there were 10...