Advertisement
I was eating lunch with my 6 year old granddaughter and asked her, “What day is tomorrow?”
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack…
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom
because this one is just too icky.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you,
He or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
On December 24 in 25 minutes.
Men Are Just Happier People
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.
There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!
SO,
send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it …. and to the men who will enjoy reading it.
Watchwoman: I have not addressed Whitney Houston’s death, for one, because the media has been covering it to the point where I’m beginning to dislike the song, “I have always loved you.” The media goes berserk over every star’s death, ad nauseam. Secondly, I am grossly uninterested in Hollyweirdos mega rock star’s sin-filled lives and God-hating carrying on. In fact, I wouldn’t be writing a word now, except for the following incisive article by Bill O’Reilly concerning the death of Houston and the media’s problem with it. Bill rightly postulates, “The national media prides itself on being non-judgmental unless you are against abortion. Then you are dismissed as “anti-woman” or a religious zealot. But in the arena of personal behavior, there’s an excuse for just about every non-violent activity or bad decision.”(unquote) (Although in many cases the media ignores the star’s violent activities, they are all union-communist controlled with an agenda.) Any religious decent human, who is a pro-life conservative cannot help but noticing the intense hatred and bias spouted off by Hollyweirdos, the media hate-all-that-is-decent mongers in print and on TV daily adoring the deadly sins of the stars on the news, in every venue of entertainment, from music to Oprah, The View, to Leno, to Letterman, to Saturday Night Live and everything in between. The air waves hate the All-Powerful and Righteous God of the Holy Bible and all His Laws. O’Reilly addresses how the media overlooked Houston’s date with destiny because they love sin so much they simply didn’t know how to address her drug addiction and date with the inevitable end to her self-destructive behavior. Recently, a young former star quarter back in 2007 for a local high school in Garfield Heights, Ohio, who is now imprisoned for his drug usage and dealing was interviewed on a local news program. The former high school hero now declared how grateful he was to be in prison because the only other outcome for drug addicts is death. He sees prison as his rescuer saying, “If I wouldn’t
Roger Martin
have been put in prison, I would have died.” I was having lunch with a producer and another man, Roger Martin, several years ago who had once been a rising star in the country music field, got on drugs, and was by that time working for a local radio station with a 40 watt output — that’s the output of a dull light bulb. Martin confessed with utter acceptance and devastating defeat in his voice that he knew he was soon going to die of his drug usage. He knew it was killing him, but he couldn’t stop. He was right, he died a few months later. Locally, people wrote his name all over street bridges to memorialize him, but what good did that do Martin anymore than the media carrying on about Michael Jackson for weeks and memorializing Houston on every newscast? None of them can see it or benefit from the attention from where they are locked in eternity forever. The media is complicit in their aiding and abetting sin. One day the media moguls will stand before a very angry and Judgmental God who will sentence them for their helping so many to die from drugs and alcohol abuse by overlooking and excusing it. And God will ask them, “Where is (insert name of the dead over-dosed star or sodomite) ? And they will answer, “I know not: Am I my brother’s keeper?” [cf. Genesis 4:9] And then comes the judgment — because — God has already told us in Hebrews 9:27…it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment. ▬ Donna Calvin
_____________________________________________
Bill O'Reilly, Fox News Commenator
by Bill O’Reilly
…the Whitney Houston story should be covered as a cautionary tale—another life vanquished by substance abuse.
The media has no bleepin’ clue how to cover the death of Whitney Houston. That’s because she was slowly dying for years, and many in the press simply averted their eyes. It was ultra-disturbing that a beautiful woman blessed with an extraordinary singing voice chose a self-destructive path in full view of the world. I mean, here is a person who signed a $100 million recording contract, actually sold 170 million albums, and commanded high six figures to deliver a 90-minute concert. Ms. Houston was a genuine worldwide star, yet was often seen in public disheveled and confused, her substance addiction apparent. The media simply did not know what to say.
We live in a time where addiction is categorized as a disease, and to do what Nancy Reagan once did, urge people to reject narcotics, is considered uncool. How many young performers do we see doing public service announcements warning children to avoid intoxication? Right now, I can’t think of one.
The national media prides itself on being non-judgmental unless you are against abortion. Then you are dismissed as “anti-woman” or a religious zealot. But in the arena of personal behavior, there’s an excuse for just about every non-violent activity or bad decision.
There is no question that some of us have a history of addiction in our families. There are folks who can use drugs casually and avoid dependence. But they are the exception. Once a person decides to dabble in cocaine, or opiates like heroin and Oxycontin, they are putting themselves at grave risk. And they know it. There are legends of famous people who wound up dead just like Whitney Houston. From Elvis Presley to Michael Jackson, the signposts are impossible to miss. No matter how rich and powerful you are, drugs can and will destroy you.
The current medical marijuana ruse is a great example of a society walking away from a responsible position. Ask any drug rehab counselor and he or she will tell you that pot often leads a person to harder drug use and is mentally addictive itself. Yes, most people can function while stoned. But the more you alter your mind, the more your perspective on life changes. Believe me, I know people who get stoned or drunk every day. They become incredibly desensitized to those around them.
On the kid front, the situation is dire. Once a child enters the world of intoxication, their childhood is gone. Presto—they are jaded. That’s how dangerous drugs and alcohol are to immature minds. Society has an obligation to protect its children, not to tacitly accept or embrace mind-altering agents like marijuana.
Whitney Houston, however, was an adult who made a decision to embrace the drug life. Reports say she tried to rehabilitate herself a few times, but you know how that goes. Once a person enters the hell of addiction, there is no easy way out.
And that’s how the Whitney Houston story should be covered. As a cautionary tale. Another life vanquished by substance abuse.
SANTORUM'S SATAN WARNING
Tue Feb 21 2012 09:27:20 ET
“Satan has his sights on the United States of America!” Republican presidential hopeful Rick Santorum has declared.
“Satan is attacking the great institutions of America, using those great vices of pride, vanity, and sensuality as the root to attack all of the strong plants that has so deeply rooted in the American tradition.”
The former senator from Pennsylvania warned in 2008 how politics and government are falling to Satan.
“This is a spiritual war. And the Father of Lies has his sights on what you would think the Father of Lies would have his sights on: a good, decent, powerful, influential country – the United States of America. If you were Satan, who would you attack in this day and age?”
“He attacks all of us and he attacks all of our institutions.”
Santorum made the provocative comments to students at Ave Maria University in Florida.
The White House contender described how Satan is even taking hold of some religions.
“We look at the shape of mainline Protestantism in this country and it is in shambles, it is gone from the world of Christianity as I see it.”
Source: Drudge Report – http://drudgereport.com/flash3s.htm
|
Previous Posts
HUMOR - President's Day
posted 8:42:39pm Feb. 21, 2012 | read full post »
HUMOR: MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED ☺
posted 7:43:19pm Feb. 21, 2012 | read full post »
Drugs Kill - Whitney Houston, slowly dying for years
posted 7:08:57pm Feb. 21, 2012 | read full post »
SANTORUM: "Satan has his sights on the United States of America!"
posted 3:51:58pm Feb. 21, 2012 | read full post » posted 7:28:43pm Feb. 20, 2012 | read full post » |
