Why Athletes Can’t Have Regular Jobs 

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1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
“I wan’ all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan’ All the kids to copulate me.“

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
“I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.“

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the ‘Skin’s say:
“I’d run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,“
Matt Millen of the Raiders said: “To win, I’d run over Joe’s Mom, too.“

4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
“He treat us like mens.  He let us wear earrings.“

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
“Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy Like Norman Einstein.“

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh:
“I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.”
(Now that is beautiful)

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
“You guys line up alphabetically by height..“ And, “You guys pair up in Groups of three, and then line up in a circle.“

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:
“Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to Prison for three years, ….not Princeton.“

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a Color photo of himself above his locker:
“That’s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes.“ ?

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of Heavyweight Andrew Golota:
“He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning, regardless of What time it is.“

11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
“My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an Uncle or an aunt.
(I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January) ?

12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
“I asked him, ‘Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?’
He said, “Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.“

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F’s and one D:
“Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one Subject.“

14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:
“I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious.“

15. Former Houston Oilers coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips,
Phillips Responded:  “Because she’s too damn ugly to kiss good-bye.“