It’s always healthy to stop and examine the words we use — that’s one meaning of the prohibition on lashon hara (evil speech) — even when we use words in jest. The term shiksa is a good example. The post corerctly points out that it derives from the Hebrew term sheketz, meaning insect, and thus is derogatory in its origins. Comparing people to insects is generally not cool. The term is also derogatory in certain common uses, as in the coarse phrase “shiksas are for practice.” So yes, probably better not to use it.
Your comparison to the N-word is a stretch, however, since that term was used for well over a hundred years in connection with discrimination, hatred, physical harm, and murder. Last time I checked, the Jews weren’t out there lynching blonde women and calling them shiksas.
Finally, do we really need to be shaming people? To paraphrase one of those “leaders and thinkers who assumed the best about the future and the Jewish people’s ability to respond to it,”: “Let he among you who is without shame cast the first stone.”

I have a friend from Brooklyn which claims that in Yiddish the word Shikse means “send her”. When a Jewish boy brought a non Jewish girl home his mother said to him shikse – send her. My Yiddish is weak so I can’t validate his claim.
Lets leave the specific example of Trump Kushner aside and ask the real question: what part in one’s identity does religion play versus other influencing factors like school, friends and surrounding community. Is it possible that for a couple made of a non observant Jew and non practicing Christian religion plays such a minor role that its a non issue?
I think we Jews play to lose. Christians and Muslims are actively doing missionary work. Only the Jews are playing too cool for school completely avoiding missionary work and turning the conversion process as difficult as possible. It limits the spectrum of possible spouses for a single Jew and it does not address assimilation. We don’t know how to handle a friendly surrounding like America where the old tricks of dealing with European Antisemitism don’t apply.

To me, this is really pretty simple. Is the “S-word” as bad as the “N-word?” *Not* the question.
Words like this, no matter how you rank them, are used to separate “us” from “them.” BUT — both “us” and “them” are human beings, and we are all passengers together on this one spaceship Earth.
IMHO — anything we use to separate people from other people, against their will, is not a good thing. It’s time for the human race to outgrow this mentality.

If a shiksa is such a bad thing, why do so many Jewish boys want one? Sorry, I just answered my own question.

Of course “offensive” words should not be used.
But…
Language is funny–whom the word “offends,” or why the word is judged to be offensive is probably rule-governed by political correctness or personal temperment. Ivanka, it seems, is not too bothered. Yet,Jews who know the meaning of the word relates to “insect” know the words is a “no-no.”
The word “nigger” comes from the Spanish word, negro, or black. It is no sin to call someone with black skin “black,” while we call someone with white skin “white.” “Nigger” is not used because it relates to slavery. There are many varients of “nigger” used in the South that soften the connotations; I have heard the word “niggra,” deliberately pronounced with the vocalic ending, that does not intend any insult. I am offended when I hear African-American performers refer to themselves as “nigga.” Obviously, they are not offended because they are making the reference to themselves. Let a white person say “nigga,” and heads would role.
Language is funny.

AWWWWWWWWWWWW COME ON-
whoever wrote the article is or is pretending to be Jewish.
The word simply means a non Jewish female. That is it.
Like anything else it is how you use it.
Sounds like it was a joke more then anything els. If so get your sense of humour back!!!
hugs
Laura

Oh Rabbi! Relax! I am not using the word to put someone down or even to describe them. In fact, “shiksa” may even be considered a DESIRABLE word, as in “Take a look at the shiksa Solomon is banging.”

I’m reminded by of a joke on the old Milton Berle TV show, many, many years ago. It went something like “A shaygetz is a guy who thinks a shiksa is an electric razor.”
Lighten up all you PC indoctrinated youngsters. Ethnic humor, be it Black, Jewish, Polish, Irish, blonde or whatever will be with us long after the current fad dies its well deserved death. Some of the funniest tales have originated within ethnic groups when members poke fun at themselves and their perceived foibles.

Al, the better joke goes:
What’s the difference between a shaygitz and a shiksa?
One’s a chaya, the other, a m’chaya.

There’s always the inevitable “Shiksa? I hardly even know ‘er!”

While the Rabbi is fundamentally correct, (and I first heard condemnation of the use of those words from Rabbi Avi Weiss at an NCSY Shabbaton), it is clear that the author of the post was trying to sound “in” and colloquially “Jewish.” Doesn’t make it OK, but context and intent are important. And, as chinkjunior points out, it has gone on to become a term of desire, that Shiksa gains in appeal precisely because of her “otherness.” Taking an adult view of this issue would require us to confront real reasons why we think marrying within one’s faith community is important, and whether we can come up with more positive reasons to strengthen Jewish education than as an inoculation against marrying out. Marrying out is not a bad thing if a person doesn’t even know why they bother being Jewish. It is just another choice, which perhaps carries with it some social or cultural discomfort. I want my children to marry other Jews, because I believe that for them, having a strong, affirmative, happy Jewish life has value, and raising Jewish children with a Jewish spouse helps achieve that. But ultimately, they will have to own their judaism with enough strength, confidence, and Love to make that choice worthwhile. It can’t just be because “We” need to continue.

Oh, and on a grammatical point, “Shiksa” does not mean send in Yiddish. “Shik” is to send, as in “Shik a Gries” meaning “send a greeting.” Even in the old days, there was the idea of Shiksa otherness appeaal, which is perhaps where the misconception comes from. There is an old Yiddish saying, “Shiks(a) ahin, Shiks(a) aher, Shik tzu mir.” A pun, meaning, “Gentile here, gentile there, send her to me”, or “send her here, send her there, send her to me.” Another point, by the way. I am reminded of the idea among some of the great Jewish authors view on this subject. Bernard Malamud famously said “If you ever forget you are a Jew, a Gentile will remind you,” which Joseph Heller quotes all over his book “Good as Gold.” I am guessing that that is an update on some old Yiddish proverb. And let’s not forget Philip Roth’s famous cry from “Portnoy’s Complaint,” “Let’s put the id back in YId, Let’s put the OY back in Goy,” which in many ways touches on many aspects of this discussion. These authors, who grew up during the depression and suffered street anti Semitism on a daily basis, had a view of the “other” more in keeping with their European forbears. And yet, as they achieved success for their literary accomplishments, they also confronted first hand something radically different, the adulation and even love from the general, mostly gentile audience. Yet in their work, they could not quite give up their old suspicions. This dissonance is directly a product of their own success, their cultural accomplishments, the social liberal consensus which made the Jew much more a part of American society. In some ways, we have yet to fully assimilate how far we have come, but on the other hand, are we sure our literary icons, who are passing from the scene, were entirely off. The Rabbi is right, we need to start dealing with the “other” from a position of confidence and respect, not fear and suspicion. And yet, do we still not come across our own treatment as the other?

We want to let you know about an article we wrote which may be of interest to readers of “Jewish Dirty Words.” The article is published in the free online journal Women in Judaism: A Multidisciplinary Journal. Please see the link below.
The article is entitled:”JAP — Jewish And Passed-over: The Invisibility of Single Jewish Women in Issues of Intermarriage and Conversion”
Click on the first entry under “Biographical Essays.”
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